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Anonymous
Anonymous asked in Society & CultureEtiquette · 6 years ago

is it ever okay to join a group of college students (four) at a table to discuss class?

so today i saw four classmates who share the same class as me. I'm in desperate need of friends so i decided id take it upon myself to introduce myself.

Typically i am shy and reserved but i thought how would i ever make friends if i never step out of my comfort zone?

so before i sat down i asked if i may sit with them and they were okay with it. they said "its okay...i guess"

I said "well my name is Shelly" and they nodded and were awkward about it. and i asked what they're names were

and they told me and then they suddenly excused themselves. I reminded them that class doesn't start for another hour.

they said "we know. we just have to go..."

and i said "okay.." and then i wandered the halls to the other side of school to see them at another random table. i couldn't help but feel hurt. why were they so rude?

Update:

they hurt my feelings :(

14 Answers

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  • 6 years ago

    Aww -- that's a shame, when you made a real effort to be friendly.

    If you see them again at class time, say a mild "Hi" to show why you approached them earlier, but wait for them to make the next move.

    Keep trying, though. Ask people you'd like to know better short questions about class work, events, or other casual topics. A lot of thes fellow students are interested in makings friends too, and will meet you halfway.

  • 6 years ago

    Many people here are saying that this group of people were rude and that might be true. How big is your class thay may not know that you were in their class. This happens to me a lot people reconize me from a class and I don't reconize them. They could have been having a private conversation. Something that needed to be resoved. I find eaiser to approach one person rather then a group. Say some thing like "Your in my (fill in the blank class) aren't you may I sit with you?" Then wait for their answer. Go from there.

  • ?
    Lv 7
    6 years ago

    There's really nothing wrong with introducing yourself to people; you didn't do anything so terrible. Honestly, I think they were the ones being rude, if anyone; if someone who clearly didn't know anyone and didn't want to sit alone, my friends and I wouldn't shut them out. We'd probably draft them right in and never leave them alone after that, haha. Seriously though, maybe they were being rude and maybe they're really just stuck up people, or maybe they were actually having a private conversation that they didn't want anyone else to hear (and if that's the case it should really have been done in private). At any rate, don't sweat it. If you see any of them again, just roll your eyes and walk away. They suck.

  • 6 years ago

    Some people have their own group of friends that make them feel comfortable and secure, and they never like stepping outside of that zone. Your proactive behavior took courage and was probably unexpected for your classmates. Possibly they did not feel comfortable because you had surprised them so they left distanced themselves from you, rather than engage in conversation. You made an effort and that is to be applauded, keep at it and you will find friends.

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  • 6 years ago

    Sounds like you just met the wrong people. Maybe one of them was a real prick and influenced the others to follow suit. Just look for other study groups. You might try approaching one of those people one on one again if you get a good vibe - but don't approach that group again.

  • 6 years ago

    You were rude because you asked to sit with a group of people you didn't know.

    They were polite by allowing you to join them. You chose to converse with them without being invited, and they responded by leaving.

    You need to learn how to be social, but you should do it with a friend or trusted adult by your side, to determine if your behavior is appropriate.

    Stepping out of your comfort zone is admirable, unless it steps you right into someone else's.

  • Anonymous
    6 years ago

    Nahh man, u dont need to make friends with those kind of people.

    What I think u should do is make friends with one person at the time(not the ones you were talking about, but other ones), and maybe they will invite into their group.. Dont go for the preppy kinda people, look after nice-looking people. Keep ya head up!

  • ?
    Lv 7
    6 years ago

    maybe theyre planning a bank robbery

    seriously though

    trying to "insert" yourself into a group is always a tough job

    Ive always found making acquaintance with one person is more straightforward, more often than not, that leads to association with their group/s

    dont sweat it .. life is complex

    certainly dont judge those people as some here will encourage you to do .. theyre just people

  • 6 years ago

    If you needed help, with a class project, then you should have just kept to that subject

    and NOT introduce yourself unless they asked your name.

  • 6 years ago

    Nothing wrong with it just be prepared for reactions like this. Kudus to you for making a go at it.

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