Am I a bad boyfriend for being protective?

Question

Hello,

I'm male 16 with a girlfriend my age. We've been going out for 5 months and now we are on a break due to a period of bad arguments in short time.

A guy started flirting with my girlfriend on Facebook and she notified me of what was going on, but when I asked if I could say something to him, she told me that I most certainly cannot intervene because I would be belittling her as she is independent and wants to deal with it herself. I accepted this for a few weeks but despite her telling him multiple times it wasn't stopping to my knowledge.

I was struggling to cope with the fact that I was allowed to spectate but not allowed to do anything and felt very helpless. After this going for weeks I snapped. I told him politely not to flirt with my girlfriend. And that was that.

She found out and is very angry at me, she says I'm unfair on her as it was her problem not mine, although I feel like I couldn't just sit by. I don't think I was belittling her at all.

But I'm here for other peoples opinions on who is in the wrong, and what I can to do in situations like these in the future.

Would like to point out I love this girl more than anything in the world she is everything to me.

Thanks

myfavouritelucy · Answer

Your girlfriend is playing a game... she is probably enjoying seeing you suffer.. makes her feel SO wanted and loved. I bet this boy isn't contacting her anywhere near as much as she says, and even so, she doesn't have to tell you at all, does she? But she does. She sounds a spoiled silly little girl... and you are 16 and immature... forget love and stuff, you do not know what you are talking about.

? · Answer

She asked you not to intervene and you did anyway. So obviously she got upset. A better way to handle it would have been to give her time to take care of the matter, and if she didn't offer to do it once more. If she said no mention that what she was doing was ineffective and you would like to get it resolved.

Angometer · Answer

Although you had nothing but good intentions, you need to let your girlfriend deal with that. Men often think they have to be the 'dominant' ones in the relationship. This is not true. Let your girlfriend stick up for herself and if it gets serious then you should intervene.

noah · Answer

i dont think you are being a bad girlfriend
i understand that you wanted to protect her but if she says that she wants to handle it alone then let her unless you realise it is getting too out of hand. no one is in the wrong but that guy. you must explain to her that you werent comfortable with it. maybe she would understand
sorry i hope this helped

Sandy · Answer

Stop being so dramatic with the "love" stuff. Let her handle it if she said she can handle it. I'm sure you'll be the first to know if she dumps you for him. Mean time you need to get your s*** together and figure out why you're arguing so much with the girl you supposedly love so much.

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Am I a bad boyfriend for being protective?

5 Answers