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Would you get back into contact with a friend who lied to you?
I had a friend for 14 years and we were long distance friends for the last 8+ years of our friendship. I came to discover she lied to me about her career, her family life and a lot of things. I made the decision to end the friendship immediately when I discovered all the lies she told me. I severed contact and was angry with her and myself for wasting time on a liar. That was over 2 years ago. Lately, now that I'm in a calmer place in life I've considered getting back into contact and seeing how she's doing. I'm not sure that's a good idea. I forgive her for the lies she told more so I can move on. I know I would never trust her again but I am concerned for her and am curious if she is doing well. I don't foresee us being friends again Should I contact her or just leave her be?
2 Answers
- HorsenseLv 76 years agoFavorite Answer
I wouldn't ntact her in person, or on the phone or live chat, etc.
However --especially if you never told her why you severed contact with her-- you could write her a calm letter that explains the reasons, and how her behavior left you feeling, etc.
You can include the fact that you can't imagine being friends & trusting her again, but, that at the same time you feel concern for her welfare, and hole that she gets herself straightened out, and finds true happiness in her life.
Don't apologize for your feelings or your decision to break it off with her. You did nothing wrong. Besides, if she is an intentional user, she'll see that as a weakness in you, which might tempt her to try to get more from you.
In basically telling her 'so long', you might also recommend some reading material that may help her getting herself straightened out, so she can begin building long-lasting happy relationships. For example, one of the online articles in this list:
- SarahLv 56 years ago
If you know you can never trust her and you don't foresee being friends with her, then what's the point? Sounds like she lied to you about a lot and I don't think it would be wise to even talk to her.
