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My ex boyfriend just vanish?
I rescently started dating this guy around mid june. Everything seemed to be going great. We had great Communications so I assumed. He sent me a text message I then responded an hour later. But he never responded to my text. The next morning I wrote him a simple "Good morning, is everything ok?" Still no response. So two days later I wrote him this "why are you ignore my text messages. I'm starting to get the hint, but we're both adults. If you're no longer interested just tell me. Anyway have a nice life" still no response. It's been a month and a week now since I've last heard from him.
I have never had a guy do this to me. I'm mid twenties and he is mid thirties. I've heard of stories like that from other women. I have always been the one to end things, but this was a low blow It's like he didn't feel I was worth breaking up with. I don't care about the fact that it ended. If anything my ego is hurt. The fact that I recieved no explaination. He always told me if I met someone I should let him know. He wouldn't like it but he'll have to accept it. But just out of respect englighten him instead of cheating or whatever. That is just horrible! And he has a daughter. Karma is a b*tch! I feel like I deserved more, even though things only lasted two months. Feelings we're not as deep. I am too nice of a person for someone to hit me below the belt like that. Why do men do things like that? It's not nice. Women need closure whether it's good or bad we need that understanding.
1 Answer
- Anonymous6 years ago
When we meet someone and there is "chemistry' everything always DOES seen great.
Anywhere from 2 days, up to as long as 2 years.
Then the problems start.
And when they start, MOST of the time the relationship ends.
In fact, psychologists, warn us that the stronger the chemistry is at the start, the worse the problems will be one they start.
This is the ultimate problem. He is no longer interested.
Sure, you would THINK an adult would just tell you. But guys are not raised to be emotional adults. They are taught to suppress their emotions (to be a "man") and to avoid emotional conflict and scenes. So don't expect him to tell you.
You are SUPPOSED to know how he feels from his behavior. Which clearly indicates he has lost interest.
Don't take his silence personally. It is just an indication of being a typical man .. .that he can't bring himself to risk a scene.
Your ego has nothing to do with it. And if you had a healthy ego, it would know that this has nothing to do with you.
This has nothing to do with karma.
Karma means "imprint" .. we are who we are, because of what we have said, done, thought and felt in the past.
And we attract people who are similar to who we are.
No .. we don't need closure.
"Closure" is just an excuse to try to cope with unpleasant feelings, without having to actually deal with them.
You are hurt because somewhere inside yourself you have self-doubts that you are not facing, don't WANT to face .. his behavior has brought them to the forefront, and that is why his behavior hurts. Because inside YOU hurt.
Intellectual understanding does NOT handle emotions. So closure will not resolve this problem .. yes, intellectually you can throw a blanket over it and pretend the issue doesn't exist. Closure is that blanket . .it is the denial, the rationalization for thinking we have solved our inner issue, when in fact we haven't.
The more you cling to the idea that you "need" closure, the more angry you get about this, the more that is an indication of how badly you want to avoid openly facing your inner self-doubts.
There is another way to see this whole thing.
And that is to be thankful that he has exposed your "soft spots" and shown you what you need to fix inside yourself.
Probably, since you are always the one to end things, THAT is connected to self-esteem problems. NOT necessarily .. only you, in your self-honesty and openness, can know if that is so. But often when someone keeps on ending relationships, it is because unconsciously they fear getting too close because their self-esteem is low and they expect to get rejected. So they make sure they are the ones to end it first, so they don't confirm their sense of rejection.