Will I ever be good enough and find my soulmate?

If you become good enough, you will NEVER find a soulmate. And that will be a GOOD thing.

This is why.

Soulmates are NOT supposed to make you happy. They are supposed to make you miserable.

Soulmates, as described by those who originated the idea (the Hindu yogi’s), are two souls who agree to be mates through several lifetimes. Because their souls are so well-acquainted, there is a feeling of recognition when they first meet.

But the reason their souls make this contract is to fast-track spiritual growth. Spiritual growth means learning that NOTHING except union with God and giving up one’s individual identity by merging into the Divine … NOTHING else will bring happiness.

So the purpose of soulmates is to make each other SO miserable that they more-quickly turn away from love and seek God instead. And since there is this strong bond, they are unable to get out of a miserable relationship.

Now, modern psychology says much the same thing .. in that they say that the stronger the attraction is at first, the worse the problems will be after the honeymoon phase has died out.

Sounds like soulmates, to me.

If you think you are unworthy of love, this is because you have not developed self-love or self-esteem. And until you DO develop self-esteem, you will not attract any women who could make you lastingly happy. We are never happier, long-term, in a relationship than we were before we got involved in the relationship.

So if you want to be happy in love, learn to be happy without love. Learn to relax and accept and like you are … both you strengths AND the foolishness that you are now ashamed of.

We think. And our thoughts are absorbed unconsciously into our brain, as patterns, as pathways that our thoughts and emotions run long. And the more often we think/feel a certain way, the deeper that rut/pathway becomes, and the harder it is to change things in us.

And in turn, the patterns we have created become self-fulfilling .. all thoughts and feelings that pop up automatically into our consciousness .. come from the patterns we have previously created.

In other words, we make ourselves through how well we discipline and direct our conscious activity.

If you want to learn to change your patterns, get some cognitive behavioral therapy. It is up to you, and no one else can do this for you. Until you care about yourself, until you have changed you patterns of selfhatred, you will not find or hold onto love

But understand that love does not make us happy. Love only gives us the opportunity to help others, which helps us be happy. We can do this BEST by loving and caring about ALL people .. personal relationships make it hard because we are trying to please ourselves, and love is NOT about pleasing ourselves. And either is the happiness that comes from loving others.

So get your own self and your own life in order first. Then everything else will fall into place.

And forget about soulmates. We all yearn for what you yearn for .. but the dream is just a fantasy that reality does not provide.

There is no one who is flawless, and so all relationships are flawed, and will at times cause you to feel hurt. Your dream of the perfect partner is impossible. And believing the delusion only makes you MORE vulnerable to being hurt.

Irvin, I feel the same way a lot of the time, I know how it feels.

Don't worry though, I'm sure we'll both find someone eventually, it may take a hell of a long time, but there has to be someone out there if what everyone says is true and not just for comfort.

Take up a new hobby or something to take your mind off being single, wait and see, someone might just come along who you will love forever,

good luck mate

Regards

Chris

you sound like a good person. :)