I used to have an eating disorder, now I'm panicking because I'm gaining weight?! I can't stop crying?

So freshmen summer (when I was entering my sophomore year) I begin eating up to only 800 calories a day and sometimes vomiting food I knew I shouldn't have ate, I did this for almost a full sophomore year I was really Insecure people told me I was losing a lot of weight and my collar bone was popping a lot but I was getting really sick I wasn't bony skinny but I did lose noticeable weight. Anyways after my break up my 11th year I feel like I been slowly gaining weight I see pictures of myself and I tell myself I was perfect in that weight but during those moment I saw myself so fat. Now I can't stop crying and in panicking really bad right now please help me I don't want to start this thing again but I'm stressing out.