I'm trying to talk myself into going to a sex shop?

I really want to buy a dildo, and I know exactly where and how to get to this sex shop called Dreamers, but for some reason I'm really scared. First, I'm a gay guy who's not exactly open to EVERYONE especially adults. And then I'm 18 and just got my drivers license and I'll have to take my moms car, and we both work in school transportation and if someone saw me or my moms car, i don't know if I'd lose my job or it'll be brought to my mom.

And I'm scared of getting caught by my parents. Sex is kind of the taboo topic in my house. It's very awkward when anything like that comes on tv or rarely in conversation. My parents actually grounded me for a month when they caught me looking at porn (sure was 9 but still)

And then I'm really shy around other people and I'm terrified and get really anxious about new things. I don't have anyone to go with me because it's too awkward and my friends are all still in high school so I can't just pick them up when I'm on my break from work....

So those are all the worst case scenarios and bad things. The only good thing I can think of is I'll have my own dildo and that'll be fun haha... Someone please help.