I'm recruiting.?

I possess the following attributes

-A proven track record in self flailing

-Fluency in seventeen dialects of gibberish or ALL of the mainstream conspiracy theories.

-I can hear mimes...

Self muttering is I assume is a given on applications of this sort...

The Camp Insanity Motto “If I had a world of my own, everything would be nonsense. Nothing would be what it is, because everything would be what it isn't. And contrary wise, what is, it wouldn't be. And what it wouldn't be, it would. You see?”

@Fox is that you Tadashi ?

But you did not mention the role.

Is it the role of being given the high life by a rich person, namely you, who is in need of someone to dote on? Is it the role of an angry person who is looking for a personal human punching bag? Someone to wrangle frogs in your yard? Is it a 50 Shades type of ad?

I'm too smart for it. You need someone more submissive.

I have a hairy back and a beautiful scrotum...

My photo (yes it is me) .... says it all Mistress.