fading scars advice . Trying to Stopp cutting?

All I will say to you is about 18 years ago when I was self harming (I self harmed but made excuses as to how the cuts had happened because I did not want to be judged by people who had no clue as to what I went through and I stopped self harming alone ) An older family friend when we were chatting said to me "I found a diary when moving house the other day that I had written when I was about your age, Wow I was such an unhappy teenager and I wish I could go back and tell that insecure and scared little girl that I was that things would get better, of course I would tell her life would not be easy but you will achieve many things you will be proud of yourself for doing and you will be the mother of 3 beautiful little girls who mean more to me than anything else in the world."

I don't know why but this really stuck with me at the time and I always think about it when I look back because it is so true times have been tough but the good things definitely outweigh the bad and if you can take in the past and remind yourself that that you can better yourself and the past has taught you to work harder to better yourself. Yes the past may have been crap but the future can be much better if you give it a chance. I still have the scars from where I self harmed and all I want to do is exactly what my family friend told me to go back and give myself a kick up the backside but then its easy to say when I am where I am now life is awesome I don't have kids but I have a career (Not a high paying one but a career I love) that I enjoy and a life I enjoy what more can I need!

Your scars are evident marks of your own struggles but now its time to look to the future and the positives. Well done you for staying clean for as long as you have but don't let a minor relapse define who you really are.

Ok, ive felt the same thing when i was recovering. Let them fade. Part of moving on is letting go of that time.You have to realize that scars dont define you. If you went through that, cutting again doesnt give you more credibility. It shows that you have not moved on. It shows that you are still going through that time. Self harm is serious and it is not about appearance to others! They arent for show, right? Just think, if you are worried that nobody will know you story and that you have to cut again, then remind yourself that you are cutting for the wrong reason. Its ok, the same thing happened to me, but I used this mentality to get through it. Your story can be told other ways.You wont have a different past because your scars are gone. You'll have a new beginning. Also, scars dont usually fade all the way for a while. The process may take a few years. If you do cut again it isn't wrong. You're gonna be fine. ;) I hope this helps, Good luck with recovery, you can do it!

Hey, I know how you feel and how addictive self harming is, but its great you want to stop. Well done for being a year clean, no matter what happens, you should be extremely proud of yourself.

Try listening to this song: youtube.com/watch?v=UFeJkfB4xKo The lyrics really help me.

Talking when you have the urge really helps. It doesn't have to be a friend or family member. You can call hotlines such us The Samaritans (if in the UK) which is open 24 hours a day. You can call them anytime and say or ask anything. They wont judge and will listen. You can even try talking to a pet or an inanimate object like a photograph, or a poster. These objects can give you somewhere to aim your voice and won’t judge you.

This is a list my therapist gave me of things you can do whenever you get the urge.

Try wait it out. Delaying self-harm once you feel the urge is one way to break the cycle. Start with waiting just 5 or 10 minutes. See if the urge passes. If you still feel the urge to self-harm, wait another 10 minutes.

Work out how you are feeling:

- Ask yourself "why am I self harming. Do I feel ANGRY?’ ‘Do I feel anxious?’ ‘What about?’

- Ask yourself ‘What would the razor blade say if it could talk to me?’

- Write a letter to someone you’re angry with, hurt by etc. saying how you feel (No need to send it.)

- Write down all the emotions you feel in a diary, journal or just a piece of paper

You can also do physical things like:

- Holding or squeezing an ice cube and letting it melt on you

- Snapping a rubber band on your wrist - Doing this (or the ice) will hurt but it wont leave a scar.

- Draw on the place you want to self harm with a red marker pen, fake blood or watered down food colouring

- Hit/punch/throw a pillow against a wall

- Play loud music and dance to it

- Spend some energy - go for a run/walk/bike ride/do yoga/muscle exercises

- Allow yourself to cry

- Squeeze/crush something such as a stress ball

You can do creative things like:

- Listen to songs that express how you feel

- Write your own song lyrics

- Draw/paint to express what you want to do or are feeling

- Write down how you feel and then tear it up

- You can go on online chat rooms about self harm and write something

- Edit photos

- Deface a magazine or newspaper

Comforting yourself:

- Have a hot shower/bath. Use things like salts, oils and music during it.

- Stay in bed

- Use aromatherapy oils

- Eat something sweet like chocolate

- Massage your hands/arms or wherever you want to harm

- Stroke a pet/hug a teddy

- Paint your nails/do your hair

- Make a cup of tea

- Watch TV/ a movie to distract yourself

- Read a book you enjoy

- Do some yoga/meditation

- Make a paper chain of the days its been since you last cut (add a new one every

day) or Keep a chart – add a star for each day you have not self-harmed

Have an 'emergency box' with whatever helps you cope. Get a box an put things like a rubber band, sweets/chocolates, pens, photos, music players, nail varnishes, body creams, face masks or anything else that comforts you. You can also write out this list and put it in there. Keep this box in a place you can get to easily so that any time you want to self harm, open it and you can find things to help you.

Remember, relapses are part of recovery. If you do harm again, don't feel bad. Just remember things you have accomplished. Even if you are just one day clean you accomplished something and should be proud.

Also remember, to see yourself as you should: you are a survivor, and there is nothing wrong with how you look. Learning to accept your scars is an important part of recovery. Your scars are important as they signify a stage of your life that was difficult, and can become reminders of the stronger person you have become. Learning to see your scars positively is not easy, but they show that you got through this and the stronger person you have become. Hope this helps and good luck.