Why would a wife have children with other men, but refuse to have any with her husband?

Ultimately having a child with a men is valuing him and not having a child with a man is not valuing him.

The children who existed before they met are not an issue. He chose to be with her and they were a part of his family. Not a matter of valuing him or not valuing him.

The child conceived after they met is a completely different story. It is a clear cut statement of value.

Time to walk away and file the paperwork, Johnny. She treated you as having no worth other than a meal ticket. Realize that and leave.

She probably never thought this additional child through in those terms at any conscious level but actions speak louder than words and subconscious speaks louder than conscious. She may even be surprised at his leaving.

Having been already separated once, the fact that she got pregnant while separated says she was checked out of her marriage whether she consciously realized it or not.

The pregnancy outside of "Johnny" could have been accidental and she didn't want to end her pregnancy but from the sounds of it she reached a point she doesn't want anymore. This can really put a strain on the relationship the only thing you can do is bring the pros and cons to the table and come to an agreement. If she still feels strongly she needs to say why and it can't be because of money because things can get worked out. But at the end of the day it's her body so unless you plan on impregnating her in her sleep (which is rape) you're screwed in a nongood way

Having kids is the most awesome thing in the world. its also one of the most tiring. I have a 9 year old step daughter, and 2 year old daughter. We talk about perhaps more kids in the future, but we have no idea if we really want to pull the goal keeper, and pull the trigger. If "Johnny" really wants kids of his own, and "Carol" isn't open to it he may have to exit the marriage. However, after 3 kids I couldn't possibly see why anyone would want any more. I love my kids, but yeah I get why someone with kids wouldn't want any more, and he shouldn't take it so personally.

Every woman has her own idea of when "enough is enough" when it comes to having children. The toll on her body, the time commitment she has to put in, and the enormous amount of money it costs all factor in to each woman's personal decision about when to have and when to not have anymore kids.

In your scenario, Carol has made some mistakes along the way and found herself with the right guy at the wrong time in her life. She's had enough kids for HER. Unfortunately, Johnny hasn't had any kids for himself and is with a woman who doesn't want any more. Even more unfortunately, since they were still married when she had her last daughter (fathered by Steve), Johnny is responsible for her welfare, even if he were to leave Carol to find another woman who does still want kids. It sucks to be Johnny, and I feel bad for him. But he did choose to take Carol back at a point where he could have gotten a divorce and washed his hands of the whole mess - he wouldn't have been responsible for the daughter if he'd continued through with the divorce at that point.

From my perspective, Johnny seems like a good provider, not necessarily a good father figure. I hope for the kids sake though (in this hypothetical story) that Steve and the father(s), of Carol's previous children are paying child support and assisting with insurance.

Cause she has no problem having sex without condoms with the rich guys she could get child support from. You have been used and abused mate since none of these kids are yours leave her mate, you deserve better than some woman that is simply with you for financial reasons and nothing more. The reality is though you got with her when she already had two kids many woman this is their max. they do not want anymore. You married someone with baggage that was not your own either suck it up and do you duty as a step-dad or get out.

I don't get why you don't think that "they had enough kids" already is a valid reason why. Three kids is PLENTY of kids. It kind of sucks to be Johnny, but he DID help make this bed he's now going to have to lie in. He didn't have to marry her in the first place. He didn't have to take her back after she got knocked up again. But he did those things. Did she give him false hope for a biological child? Yes, she did, which makes this mostly HER fault and not his, but he certainly played a big role in his current scenario.

Why would a wife do what? She's had enough kids. She made that clear to you. I guess it didn't occur to you that her 3d child was an accident? Now she's definitely had enough.

If you want to stay with her and raise her kids, good for you. But she doesn't 'owe' you another child just because you want one of your own.

If you need a child that badly, you should have found a woman who wanted one with you.

Carol already said why , she made it clear that Johnny is not wealthy enough to breed with and that she will only be impregnated by men that earn much more than Johnny does .

Problem is that Carol overestimates her value and while the wealthier men will have sex with her , they will not marry her .

Only poor Johnny is foolish enough to do that .

if a woman is un interested in having a child its because she is un interested in having a child. this has very little to do with the fact that she has children with another man, and its not a snub to her current man. growing a child on your body is not a decision taken lightly, and if a woman doesn't want to, she should never be pressured. its her body.