Do telling guys stuff directly really help them help us girls better?

Question

Guys tend to complain that girls don t tell them their requests and intentions directly. However does directness really help?

I ll give you an example.  I was having a conversation with a guy friend abt AC maintenance services and I was shocked to learn that some stuff that should be checked are not included.  Our conversation becomes like this:

Me: "This makes me mad.  How can they do this?"

Him: "That s just the way it is."

Me: "I m mad.  I can t think straight.  I need to calm down.  Calm me down"

Him: "There s no need to.  You just need to accept what you looking for isn t included in the maintenance"

Me: "I know!  I believe what you said!  However I am still mad!  Calm me down.  Talk abt something else. Please!"

Him: "No need to.  You just need to open your mind."

Me: (-_-) (What the hell does that even mean?)

I have had conversations like this with different guy friends.  I am sure there are guys who are more empathetic but they seem to be few.  If guys generally behave like my friends would, why are they complaining girls don t tell them things directly, when telling them things directly won t help them help us either?

Happy-2 · Accepted Answer

Sorry, but "calm me down" is a really weird thing to tell someone to do.

Torchbug · Answer

I don't know if you can generalize from your friend(s) to the entire male population. Your guy friend above sounds like an idiot. Of course you can request services that aren't included in basic maintenance. It might cost extra, but the option is there. You also have the option of finding a different AC service that will do the things you want them to do. You also have the option to call around and ask other AC services what is included in their basic maintenance, and then sharing that information with the original AC service that insists it won't do those things or doesn't need to do those things.

However, it's not the responsibility of any man to calm you down or to solve your problems for you. If most of your conversations with men involve you getting emotional and then making them responsible for your emotional state and fixing the problems in your life, that could be why they don't seem to take it very well. There's a difference between saying, "I'm so mad about this!" and demanding "Fix me and fix the situation for me!"

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Do telling guys stuff directly really help them help us girls better?

2 Answers