How to deal with mean female coworkers? Why are women so mean?

Question

I am a woman. Just finishing 3 months in my new job. Every job I have ever had, female coworkers have been mean B!tches!!! Underhanded, sneaky, rumor spreading b!tches. I have worked with a few men like that, too but most of them are not like this.. We are 3 people in my team: me, another woman and our boss who is also a female. Both of these women are friends and I have never felt like a part of the team. My boss is often moody and I never know what to expect. She does not train but scolds me in front of everyone. The other woman in my team is a horrible person who talked down to me and every screamed at me once and everyone heard. It took me years to find a full time job and I love my job. I hate working with these women. How do I deal with this?? I know how to perform my job, BUT I am still learning the procedure of how this company works. My boss does not train me. When I ask a question she gets annoyed and does not want to be bothered. What can I do to make this work?

Update:

kj566 · if that was the case then I would have the same issue with men. But no, it's always women. It's high school crap, all about clicks. I don't normally have office buddies b/c I am not comfortable yapping all day and getting chummy with them. Maybe that's part of the problem. This women yap non stop all day and I only talk when I need to. I get along great with men. I'd say I've only had problems with men 3 times in 26 years of work.

? · Answer

Email is your friend.

Instead of asking for help from your boss in person, start sending your questions to her via email, and make sure to use a read receipt, so you know for sure that she has opened it.

Then if she does not reply or if she replies with an unhelpful response, you will have proof of it, so that if the situation keeps getting worse, you will have proof that you have tried to get training but your boss has been unhelpful.

With this in mind, try to make the majority of your interactions between these two women through email, instead of face to face. Not only will they be more likely to behave themselves when responding with email, but it will help you to avoid the office stress that has clearly been affecting you. If they try to insist on having face to face interactions, by asking you a verbal question, tell them that you are very busy right now, but that you will send them an email that answers their questions.

As far as verbal abuse is concerned. My suggestion is that the next time this woman yells at you, pull out your cell phone, hit the record button and ask her to repeat what she just said. If she refuses, then you have just won a battle with her. The next time she yells, call her a coward for not being willing to stand behind her own behavior and say it on recording. It will lower her status with the other workers in the office.

If she lets her pride get the best of her and does say it on recording, then you've now got her where you want her, and you can now turn her in to HR for creating a hostile working environment.

? · Answer

If you can find someone who is more open to answering questions, go to this person instead of your boss.

I had a woman who was like this at first when I started to work where I work now. I ignored her and avoided her as much as I could.

Another thing you can do is be super nice and giving.   Bring in homemade sweets and pass them around, make sincere compliments if you can muster it.  Make it really really hard for them to be against you - make them feel really guilty for it.

nostradamus02012 · Answer

keep your head down and do your job as well as you can.

where ever you go, be sure to create as much value as you possibly can.

if you do this, it shouldn't be too long before you can move on and up.

good luck!

Anonymous · Answer

"Every job I have ever had" suggests to me that the problem is probably, at least in part, you.

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How to deal with mean female coworkers? Why are women so mean?

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