Is this abuse or what is this?

I'm 17 years old, and I been with my boyfriend for 7 months anyways we get into little fights and big ones about dumb reasons when he gets really mad he punches walls. Sometimes he grabs me by my neck not hard enough to make stop breathing but yeah if you know what I mean. He either pinches me so hard or grabs me really hard where it leaves really small bruises, there was once were we were playing around and he got mad I guess so he grabbed my hand and banged it against the floor but to him he was "playing around." A month ago, we got into a fight and he pushed my head so I can hit it against the table, his little brother saw and screamed at him that he didn't need to hit me and when we talked about he started crying saying he doesn't know why he does that and that he doesn't want to hurt me but he can't control himself. I have bad anxiety and panic attack I admit I can be a b*tch with my words and I want to leave him but I feel bad giving up on him when he never did on me I really want to leave but I can't this guy is my best friend but every time he gets mad in the past he had to invite a girl over or do something that involves flirting but he's the sweetest guy ever he's two people if you get me? He was going to get me a promise ring but now I don't even know if I want one I'm just so confused. Like I see him and I see someone who I have such deep connection with him I told him and he said it's not even abuse because he doesn't punch me or hit me hard and I'm just a p*ssy