Every full moon i get the uncontrollable urge to go bargain hunting and check around vending machines for loose change. Am i a were-jew?

No, you're a reverse were-would-be-comic. When during non-full moons you are not bargain hunting and checking for loose change, you are attempting to be funny and miserably failing.

Only a tomato in the face can kill you.

I am not sure about a were-jew, but there are a group of people called "internet trolls" who try to be funny and write idiotic things on sites such as Yahoo Answers in an attempt to be deliberately offensive. They often think they are being clever, edgy, and witty, where in all reality they are extremely unfunny, not edgy or original, and have incredibly low intelligence.

In fact, I'm answering a poorly constructed and extremely juvenile "question" written by one of those internet trolls right now!

I usually laugh at jokes that are not funny. Lmao.