Why are women who like young guys called "cougars" and considered to be "confident" and "sexy"?

The two are not a fair comparison.

The ages differ in that type of cougar type relationships since it is based on adults but one may be up to five years older or younger but eligible about the age of 18.

A pedophile can be wanting to touch babies days old, up to age 11 and beyond, but under the age of 18.

Big difference here, one is against the law, the other is consentual.

I think it's partially because men are physically stronger. An older man can force a woman into something with his mind and his strength, whereas a young man doesn't use that strength against an older woman, he's just happy to be getting some.

When men date women the same age as the males the cougars date, young adult age, they are NOT called pedophiles.

A pedophile gets sexual arousal from a pre-pubescent child. Clearly not the same thing.