Helping a girl that's depressed?

She's full of $hit. A doctor and a psychiatrist would definitely help. She just wants to whine around.

I think that you should tell someone in a postion of trust suuch as as a doctor who can help. I know the doctor did not work, it is best to try again and fully explain the situation again to them. You do not want to pressurize your friend, nor do you want to be judgemental as that can cause more problems.

Tell a dr. how you feel; there are good meds for depression.

When a friend suffers from depression, your support and encouragement can play a big role in their recovery. Try not to panic or over react, she is not alone in feeling depressed or self-harming and neither are you as someone trying to support her.

It might sound simple, but the best thing you can do for someone with depression is to listen. By allowing the person to talk about whatever getting to them can be the first steps in the recovery process.

Remember a person may not ask for help, but that doesn't mean help isn't wanted. Talking to your friend in a an accepting and open way is an important first step in overcoming the situation.

Go somewhere you can be alone with your friend and tell her what you've noticed, and why it worries you, and that you want to help her. When starting a conversation with her, you can say things like: 'I have been feeling concerned about you lately, Recently, I have noticed some differences in you and wondered how you are doing, I wanted to check in with you because you have seemed pretty down lately.'

Sometimes it is hard to know what to say when speaking to a loved one about depression. Remember, that being a compassionate listener is much more important than giving advice. Having someone to talk to and listening face to face can be an enormous help to someone suffering from depression.

She may be reluctant to open up; she may be ashamed, or afraid of being misunderstood. Depression makes it difficult for a person to connect on a deep emotional level with anyone, even the people they love the most. In addition, depressed people often say hurtful things and lash out in anger, but this is the depression talking, not your friend.

Try to be accepting and open-minded. Let your friend know you are there for her, and that she is loved. Encourage her to talk about her feelings, and be willing to listen without judgment. Reassure her that it's ok to talk about her distress and that she has your support. Hold back from asking a lot of questions, but make it clear that you’re ready and willing to provide whatever support she needs.

You can ask things like: 'Did something happen that made you start feeling this way? How can I best support you right now?' you can also can say things like: 'You are not alone in this, I’m here for you, I may not be able to understand exactly how you feel, but I care about you and want to help, You are important to me, Tell me what I can do now to help you, I want to help you. You may not believe it now, but the way you’re feeling will change.'

Avoid saying things like: 'It’s all in your head, We all feel sad, Look on the bright side, You have so much to live for, Just snap out of it, What’s wrong with you?, I know how you feel, you just need to think happy.'

But don’t expect a single conversation to be the end of it. Depressed people tend to withdraw from others and isolate themselves. You may need to express your concern and willingness to listen over and over again. Be gentle, yet persistent. Don’t give up if she shuts you out at first. And don't force her if she doesn't want to talk, just let her know you want to listen and are always there for her. Talking about depression can be very tough. Be respectful of your friends comfort level while still emphasizing your concern and willingness to listen. Don't take it personally if she doesn't want to talk to you because you are close. If she doesn't want to talk to you you can suggest she call anonymous hotlines like The Samaritans, on 116123, which is open 24 hours a day. Tell her she may find talking to a stranger, not face to face can be easier.

If she does want to talk, to help your friend: Listen. Let your friend unload despair, ventilate anger, anxieties. No matter how negative the conversation gets, the fact that it exists is a positive sign.

- Avoid offering advice. It probably seems natural to share advice with your friend, but this wont help. What helps instead, is to ask, “What can I do to help you feel better?” This gives your friend the opportunity to ask for help.

- Be sympathetic, non-judgmental, patient, calm and accepting. If she says something you don't agree with, don't get mad or try to argue, just acknowledge how she feels. Your friend is doing the right thing by talking about her feelings, so dont make her feel bad about it.

- Avoid making comparisons. You cant tell someone who is depressed you know how they feel because you feel sad sometimes too. Also dont compare her life to other people and tell her how good she has it. While your intention is probably to help your friend feel less alone, this can cut short your conversation and make her not want to talk because she feels you don't understand. It can also make her feel worse about herself.

- Dont offer ways to fix her problems, or give advice, or make her feel like she has to justify her feelings. It is not about how bad the problem is, but how badly it’s hurting your friend.

- Don’t try to talk your friend out of her depression. Do not dismiss her problems. Even if her feelings or concerns appear silly or irrational to you. Simply acknowledge the pain and sadness she is feeling. If you don’t, she will feel like you don't take her emotions seriously and will be reluctant to open up.

- Recognize her achievements, even tiny ones. Depression drains a person’s energy, optimism, and motivation and can make simple activities feel overwhelming, even getting out of bed is a struggle. Say to her: “You’re doing really well. I've no idea how you do it, but you're doing brilliant”

- You can also show support in other ways: Spend time with her, talk to her, watch tv/movies you enjoy, Invite her to go out, it can be anywhere. Anything to show her you are thinking of her and she is not forgotten will help. Even if she doesn't want to go out or do anything, just asking will make her feel better.

- Have realistic expectations. It can be frustrating to watch someone with depression struggle, especially if progress is slow. Having patience is important. Remember, recovery from depression doesn’t happen overnight.

While you can be there and support your friend, you cannot do everything. The best thing you can do is keep encouraging her to get help. Perhaps from an understanding parent/teacher or councilor. And keep encouraging her to see her GP to get professional help. Dont force her though, just let her know there is more support out there when she is ready. You could also offer to go with her for support.

And remember, make sure that you take care of yourself. It is hard dealing with the fact that someone you care about is depressed, and it can also be hard work and frustrating at times. Remember to take some time for yourself to clear your mind and relax. You cant help someone else if you don't take care of yourself or if you are stressed. Hope this helps and good luck.