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When it comes to my head with dating, what reasons of mine are valid or crap with why I choose not to date?
I'm 24 (turning 25 in a couple weeks) and I've never been in a relationship.
Up until meeting someone a couple years ago, dating never really interested me. A lot of that was due to emotional trauma from stuff as a kid, and because I'm pretty introverted, while I'm book smart, I'm not very "socially smart", I guess you could say.
The girl I met later rejected me for someone else, who she is going to marry. Unfortunately, I have been rejected in the handful of times I have asked girls out over the years.
All of this said, here are some of my thoughts about dating as a whole:
1. I have to "earn" a relationship by accomplishing things. In other words, until I accomplish things A, B and C in life, I have to put dating on the backburner.
2. I realize I may have bitterness issues from being rejected in the past. That, I think, is a major play in why I have stayed single. Should I be with someone, I don't want to think about them and my past failures at the same time, as I don't think that's fair.
3. I think my lack of experience also hurts me a great deal. It's not like I'm 13 or 14 anymore. I have to think about things beyond just "I like this girl", because there are things like the future to think about as well.
All of this said, are these real concerns to be... for lack of a better term, concerned with, or are these just made-up things in my head that I should brush away?
1 Answer
- Shadow TravelerLv 74 years ago
Okay. These can be real concerns, or issues that are valid, but none of these means you can't date. It's nice to have yourself together in order to date (does make you seem more "dateable" for some) but sometimes it's nice to be in a relationship as you go for your goals and have someone there to support you (and you doing the same for them).
Bitterness, to a point, is okay. But just because someone treated you like dirt at one point in your life doesn't mean everyone will. Everyone faces rejection, EVERYONE, especially when it comes to dating. You can learn from it, and not be the bitter- be- crappy- to- people- because- someone- was- to- you miser, and realize that crappy things are supposed to make us better people. Lack of experience is not a bad thing, it's just means you have some growing to do. That doesn't mean you can't date, or no one will want to date you, or that you can't have a decent relationship because you lack "experience". Everyone had to start somewhere at the point of no experience to gain the experience. Relationships take effort and require conversation about what each person wants form the relationship. you need to do this whether you have a lot of relationships under or belt or none. If you want the companionship, and are willing to make an effort by all means date. You'll find crappy people and awesome people whilst dating, not everyone will return your interest but some of the fun of dating is getting to know someone.
