hi all,my son 12 refuses to see his father who has been absent for 10 years, Does he have to?

Not from what you describe.

If there is no court ordered visitation of any kind, which would require the judge to issue an order, not a side agreement in the court house lobby, then all that could ever be expected would be the Skype visit, and that is an agreement, but not an order.

If that is the only form of visitation that has been defined, there is zero to be enforced, and you wouldn't even be found in contempt if you didn't do that.

I agree that your son should be required by you to participate in meeting his father on Skype, with you present. It may be scary, but he's old enough to go through with that much, and it's up to you to stand behind him as he faces this part of life. To let him run away does more to harm him than help.

As far as the father marching over your agreement to demand more, you should also go through with the Skype meeting for that reason. If you don't, he will have more motivation to go back to court, and that makes you appear as being uncooperative, and he'd probably get direct visitation. Make these guys understand an agreement is an agreement,and make them both live up to it. Your son is 12. He needs to meet his father, and you hold the keys to the car and his phone.

You need legal advice.

Then let the father return to court to get court ordered supervised visitation..... he will be wasting his time as no court in the UK will force a 12yr old to meet him especially as he has not seen him in 10 yrs ........ do what you agreed which is set up the Skype but if your child decides not to have anything to do with him that is his choice to make and the police will do nothing, they will tell this man to return to court as it is a civil matter and the police only deal with criminal matters, the police have no say, unless there is a court order in place........... and as said the judge would speak to a 12yr old anyway

First, the police will NOT do a single thing. They will tell your ex not to call the police for a civil matter.

Is there a court order for visitation? You've talked about maintance, but you didn't say anything about visitation. If there's no order for visitation, then it's not required, it's optional. You can say no.

The child can't say no. But you can.

If there is a court order for visitation, then your ex could take you to court. Then the judge will tell you that you need to comply with the court order, and he might give you a fine.

What you didn't ask? I think you should make the kid go. I know, I understand how the kid feels. As parents sometimes we have to do these things. I really think he should get to know his father, even if his father is a jerk. Then he'll know his father is a jerk. That's something a man needs to know.

As long as it's safe, I would make him go.

UK Answer.

No Court in the UK will force your son to see his father. What are you supposed to do -- Tie him up and force him into a car. He does not know him, there has been no contact.

At 11 here children are allowed to choose.

You need to talk to your Solicitor.

The Police will not help as this is a Civil case not criminal.

Yes..

Source(s):

.....I am a retired police officer. I retired as a sergeant, after 29 years, from a very large department, about 12,000 officers. I was a patrol officer for 4 years in a very diverse area. I was a tactical officer in the high rise project areas of my city. We called it vertical patrol in that we walked the the stairways of the high rises most of the time. I did that for 5 years and was promoted by test to detective. I worked violent crime (homicide, sex, officer involved shootings, robbery, kidnapping, serious non property incidents) for 11 years until I was promoted to sergeant. I worked as a street supervisor, a bicycle patrol supervisor and a desk sergeant/watch commander. During my time as a tactical officer and a detective I was a unit representative for the police union.

I have a B.A in English and an M.S. in Law Enforcement Administration....

What is the Court Order? Talk to your solicitor to be clear what is required. Yes if the Court Order says physical visitation then you can be held in contempt and he can get the police involved. Although the story kind of makes me wonder what you told this child about his father.

He was ordered to compensate his late payment(s) of Child Support (apparently), and apparently was granted visitation, which means physical meeting. One would think, if visitation is denied, Child Support can be denied.

Logic would say no, but it's a matter for the courts. The courts hate to ever deny a parent visitation even when the children don't want it.