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Do you LISTEN when someone talks to you?
My husband is a great listener to everyone, he's patient and doesn't add his opinion. A great quality that seems rare.
5 Answers
- Anonymous4 years ago
Yes, and that's why I avoid everybody. I refuse to practice as a counselor or lay minister because I realized noone's problems matter. What they're looking for is if thats "OK." They want validation of whatever their belief about the situation is which makes it awkward when I have to fight really hard to not try and point out your destructive behaviors. I get those jollies off here.
I do agree with you that finding someone who will choose to validate you on everything, authentically or otherwise is rare. That might be the "perfect match" people try to articulate. You just agree and don't have to argue. That's rare. But if you really want me to really listen, it is not charitable, it's not an act of love to let you get away with things to make you feel good about yourself. If I'm not being an active presence, you can talk to your dog. Seriously, there are some things that you can mumble through alone in bed or put in a diary or a slightly freduain book or song etc. I don't think it's healthy to need someone else to hear every single thing you have to say.
I like the Sarah Kay poem about "...reaching for knees and elbows, things I have long since given away." https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=NmTQ0HYs1Zs
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