Yahoo Answers is shutting down on May 4th, 2021 (Eastern Time) and the Yahoo Answers website is now in read-only mode. There will be no changes to other Yahoo properties or services, or your Yahoo account. You can find more information about the Yahoo Answers shutdown and how to download your data on this help page.
Trending News
For the first time, I don't want to help my friend.?
This is kind of heartbreaking and frustrating for me, and my generosity and big heart are really the only things I like about myself, I've always been the friend that cares and is so willing to help, I'm basically a therapist to all my friends, and it makes me feel good to know I'm helping people, but recently a somewhat close friend of mine tried to commit suicide, and I was so willing to be there and help, but with everything going on in my life on top of him attempting suicide, the eagerness to be there for him has for the most part went away, like I almost don't want to be there for him, and I'm not sure why. Im posting this because I'm very confused about these emotions, and its really bothering me, so any ideas or anything is appreciated
3 Answers
- Lil'AlienLv 74 years agoFavorite Answer
You have too much on your plate to be there for your friend. That's ok. You are not his therapist and if you aren't trained to be a therapist or handle suicidal people it might even be better if you don't get involved. Clearly he needs more help a friend can offer and he needs to seek out this help.
Seriously depressed and suicidal people need a lot of attention and energy and as a friend they can become too much to deal with because they become emotionally draining. They suck the energy and good mood right out of you. It's why it's better to leave them to those people who are trained to deal with them.
As for your own feelings about the matter and not being willing to be there for him, don't beat yourself up about it. We all have out limits and if those are reached we need to listen to it. If we don't feel good about ourselves we also cannot help the other person as best as we could if we feel bad. You only can focus on so much in your life and if you have to make a choice between you and the other you should be your first choice. The moment you have time and energy to spare again you can be there for your friends, but not unless you are feeling good about yourself and your life.
- Anonymous4 years ago
Anyone who attempts suicide and fails is crying out for PROFESSIONAL help or a complete loser who just can't get anything right. Either way, you will likely not be able to help just prolong the date to the next suicide attempt (not even professionals are 100% successful so no reflection on you). That said you know what your friend needs but if he/she is unwilling to seek professional help then they are just wallowing in self-pity and NO ONE wants to be around those types of people long term. You have rationalized the situation subconsciously and for your own mental health are keeping your distance - self preservation instinct is kicking in - don't fret too much about it - provide the person with some information about where to seek help and move on to problems you can solve.
- Anonymous4 years ago
You can't take care of people forever, no matter what, even suicide. At some point, you have to turn around and think about and take care of yourself. Living your life and the responsibilities within it is already stressful enough. You can't be that around-the-clock therapist to other people. It's okay to send a message and telling him something positive. Doesn't have to be a long novel.
If wanting to help him is just not naturally there, it's just not there. Maybe this is your body's way of saying 'time out; focus on me'.
