Asking GF to take paternity test.?

Question

hey guys so my girlfriend of five years me and her are having problems. First a dude she use to talk to but stop talking to for three years just hits her up out of nowhere on IG and he starts making comments that we was trying to get with her. I brought this up and she said she blocked him becuase I was uncomfortable. Then she gets mad a me and leaves the house all day didn’t tell me who or where she was she came back at 10pm. And then said she  was with some friends from HS. Fast forward two weeks later I see a text from him in her phone. I didn’t say anything when I went on her phone I notice the whole text thread was deleted. Four years ago a dude that she claim to be her cousin sent me nude pics of her that she said were meant for me but she thought they were ugly and didn’t send them. She said he got them off her Apple photo steam. The guy claim she cheated on me with her she had a massive breakdown and I didn’t know who to believe so I stayed with her. I don’t believe she’ll cheat but I’ll be damn to pay for a kid that’s not mines. How should I go about this. She told me before if I ever asked for a paternity test she would be hurt and she said like how would the kid not be yours.

Anonymous · Answer

If in doubt, get it done.

When people put up a fight and get defensive, not wanting to get it done, then you really got to suspect why. You know her best, there is a lot of suspicion and strange stuff with a 'cousin' sending nudes (why the hell would her cousin even have nudes?, that excuse is total BS).

Don't be a fool, get done. If you both want to be together, then you need to know fully that it's your kid.

Hell, just say, 'my mom' or someone, people are talking that it isn't your kid, and you want to be 100% sure that it is, because it's playing on your mind and you want to prove them wrong, prove all the A holes that are questioning her wrong.

Put it like that, it's not your idea, it's 'them' that you want to prove wrong.

Rosalie · Answer

SO, there's a child involved here? 
Because if there is no child, there is no paternity test.
If there IS a child, you need to do a court-approved paternity test, and file for your rights to the child as the father. Unless and until you do that, any child born to a woman to whom you are not married is not legally your own.

SO- you and she should WANT that. Not because you doubt that the child is your own, but because you need the results of the test to file in court. If you don't do that, your child will never inherit anything from you, cannot collect social security benefits under your name, and you have zero rights when it comes to signing your child into school or taking them to the pediatrician, or ANYTHING. Because unless you and the mother are married, it's not seen as your child. You can rightfully go file for paternity, and say you are only doing what is necessary to be a stand-up father- because it's true.

SO. Get over it, go to the court house and get help filling out the paperwork, and get tested. It's part of the process, and you don't have to say anything about what the results might be. If it turns out you aren't, she will need to go talk to somebody else about helping to pay and raise this child, but you won't have made that happen.

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Asking GF to take paternity test.?

2 Answers