What was the most awesome excuse you ever made?

"You can only see things from your own brain. So only my perspective is valid."

I don't make excuses. If I don't want to do something, I will tell that person why I don't want to. I don't worry about whether it makes them happy or not.

"Gee, I'd totally do that for you, except my legs won't allow me to move off the couch. Kay, bye."

I told my boss I'd be late to work because I got into a traffic accident with some clown on the way to work. I was actually being 100% truthful. It was some guy who worked as a clown who didn't stop in time and rear ended me. He was either going to a gig or coming back from one but he was in full clown makeup and costume. We did the insurance info exchange and everything and there was no serious damage and no injuries but it was one of the weirdest experiences I've ever had.

"I can't right now. I've got a bone in my leg."

I don't make excuses. I make plenty of mistakes but I wear them.

I can't remember

I wouldn't call it awesome, but more creepy. I called out of work claiming I had been in a fender-bender and not 2 hours later, it actually happened.