Is the second year of grief normal to be intensified?

There's no rules on grief, or how long / when it can hit you hardest.

Every person deals with loss differently.

For me - for the first few months after my dad's death, I felt horrible for at least part of almost every day.  As time went on, daily life became easier and some days went by without feeling anything regarding his death or that he was gone.  BUT - whenever some major event happens in my life - something that I would have usually shared with him - then the grief is almost as bad as when he first died.  It has been over 20 years ago since he died.

If your grief is so severe that it is interrupting your daily life or your ability to function - then you should seek help.  Grief counseling would be an option.  You may be able to find a group session or a private session in your area to help you cope with your loss.

BTW - the holidays for the first few years after a major loss is always going to be the hardest.  This is the time when family and friends come together and having one of them missing is always felt the most during this season.

Hope you find a way to cope with your feelings so you can enjoy the people you still have in your life.  

No, it's not normal.

my daughter of only 3 years old died, we still dont know the cause of death. Its been almost 10 years and hasnt gotten any easier. It seems to me each year gets worse and worse

Grief is different for everyone. It is not a matter of normal or not normal.