If you found out that you won 970 million dollars right now, what would you do?

1) Pay the taxes immediately.

2) Surreptitiously find out what debts my parents have, my siblings have, my first cousins have, my aunts/uncles have, and select friends have.  Pay off those debts.

3) Purchase at least 640 acres of land in the Tennessee Valley.

4) Hire landscape architects to plot out the land for multiple homes.

5) Hire an architecture firm to design a selection of single-family homes that all share unifying details, but are still varied enough to allow for personal choice.

6) Tell my parents, my siblings, my cousins, my aunts and uncles, and my friends to each pick out which home they'd like (I'd have model homes built from the choices).  They can pick out interior color schemes and design elements, but their exterior choices are limited (in order to preserve a harmonious and natural look to the settlement).  Now they have a vacation home.

Now that this is all out of the way, and the people I love are reasonably taken care of, I can enact my true plans.

1)  Purchase every single statue and monument to the Confederacy that are currently publicly maintained and are not part of a Civil War battle site, or a Confederate cemetery, etc... (basically, the stuff that's on State Capitol grounds and in random parks, and so on).  The agreement is that the cities are not permitted to make another Confederate memorial for the next 50 years and at least 75% of the purchase must go towards funding for education for black students (and no money can be shuffled around out of the existing budget either).

2) Place all of these statues and monuments on another piece of land and I'll call it "Monument Park."  $10 gets you in and if you're really interested in preserving history or heritage, then you'll support my project, otherwise the monuments will fall into disrepair.  After operating costs, the ticket sales will be used to maintain the monuments and anything after that will go into a scholarship fund for black students.

3) Open a gun store.  My prices will be incredibly competitive, but the caveat is that if you wish to purchase a gun from my store, you'll have to pass not only the legal requirements, but also the store requirements.  You'll have to demonstrate proficiency with the firearm.  You'll have to demonstrate your ability to maintain the firearm.  You'll have to pass a multiple-choice test about firearms and firearm laws in general, your firearm type more specifically and your firearm model specifically.

4) Open a bail bonds business.  I'll offer a lower rate than other bail bondsmen, and I'll give a full refund to anybody who either gets the charges dropped or is found not-guilty by a judge or jury, provided they do not try to skip on their bail before their trial date.  If you take a plea bargain, are found guilty, or try to skip out, then your money is forfeit.

5) Open a debt collector's office.  I'll purchase debts for pennies on the dollar and offer to wipe them clean for my costs + 10% (for administration fees).  If you don't want to agree to my terms, that's fine.  I'll just sell your debt to someone else who'll want the full 100% or else they'll take you to court.

Die of surprise      

Probably roll the biggest joint ever and go smoke it in the park and contemplate what had just happened. Then invite a friend over and a bunch of escorts and party the night away with a load of drinks, music etc. I would also ring my family yes...

I would run naked up and down Central Ave with pre-loaded $1,000 gift cards and debit cards stuck between my rear end cheeks. Anyone that dares to come up and grab one while I'm running can have it. I would be willing to spend a $100,000 on that for entertainment.

Put it all in the bank.

Buy a house for myself and my family and keep/invest the rest so I can donate consistently to charity and live comfortably at the same time