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I don't act the way I want to?

When talking to someone I know or to a complete stranger, if he/she is rude I will eather make a mild come back and later think about what I should've said. Often I don't even realise they are rude until the conversation ends. If I could understand how I feel during the conversation I wouldn't retreat, but it seems I always need time to think about a situation. How can I fix this? Does this happen to other people too?

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