why am i alone at 42, having trouble to find arelationship/friends?

It gets harder as you get older. 

Maybe your the shy type would has a hard time with people. Talk to a therapist may help.

It’s not like there isn’t someone out there. Best of luck. I would not use dating sites or apps though because you really don’t know who’s on the other end 

Well you know its difficult as you get older to actually meet people who are single so people are preoccupied with their families. Some partners dont like their spouses having friends, particularly single friends who might want to go to social places.

On the other hand I look at my uncle who became a widow at 70 and was in a new relationship within a year. 

I have another uncle who was divorced and never without a gf. even at 80

My point is it can be difficult to meet single people but its not impossible.

I think with the two of them, they were used to being in a relationship so probably didnt have really high standards that cant be met. But both of them were ultimately happy with the quality of the women they met.

You have to keep your options open if you are single and really want to meet someone. They may not tick all the boxes but nobody will.

As for places to make friendships, i would lean towards whatever your interests are. For example, i love hiking so I joined a group. I wouldn't say I've made lifelong friends but they are people who I mix with and enjoy hiking with once a week.

The same with the gym, no lifelong buddies but when I go in I have many people who i nod to or chat to and see them there each week and it feels comforting.

The best thing though is if you can manage to enjoy your own company, make use of it and make plans without thinking that you cant do anything because you dont have someone to do it with. If you choose that option you will never go anywhere or do anything. There are always groups to join and there always solo people in the same position as you who act proud to be independent and not like its some burden.

The truth be told a lot of married, paired off people would love to escape and be free to be alone but they're tied with kids, mortgages or just plain fear of the unknown.

You need to join groups, your library should have a booklet for things to join up to and if you have a community centre, check with them for group activities. My 73 yo neighbour met her boyfriend of two years when walking along the beach. Maybe try volunteering. My large public hospital has heaps of volunteers. And you could sign up to an online dating agency, that seems to be how people find a mate. Good luck. 

Maybe you are not meant to. Some people do end up alone but those who fly solo have the strongest wings.