What’s happening to me ?

I woke up in a dark room and I tried to turn on the light and it didn’t work. I went downstairs and turned on the sink but I was electrocuted and my testicles were chafed by vice grips.’then I saw stars in my ears and Lenny Bruce started singing songs from South Pacific. Next thing I know I’m outside and a tool chest falls down the stairs and slaps me with a zeppelin. Now I’m lost in the hundred acre wood with nothing but two claps between my anus.