What is another GREAT WAY to get help? I feel like I need to go to jail?

I've already really have done something f*cked up, now I can't get a job or join the military, or anything. I wish I was still the normal kid in my school. I would have taken back all of the nonsense that I've done. I would have all of the time to think in the world. The only thing I would not take back is smoking pot, at least twice. When the time comes around when pot is legal for recreational use, I would smoke it everyday. But I've done something else to make me feel like I should be in prison. I know it sounds rather HARSH, but if you want to continue and WRONGFULLY just b*tch, I would not be able to speak about an important crime I've committed. Is there any program that I can join for people who have troubled youth, but grew UP to be an adult, and also have a mental problem(s)? I have had trouble with perverted kinds of 'humor' or 'methods' in order to have sex and get away with it like a GENIUS, and I have asked several girls to have oral or anal kinds of sex with girls. I would promise I would keep safe during the occasions of doing it but getting away with it. The reason was was that I wanted a woman to treat me special, and I think some girls are gorgeous, too. I also thought about illegally smoking weed, at least twice. I'm not a fetish troll, and I'm not a criminal troll. But I would talk to my therapist about it at least. Any thoughts?