If it takes a man a week to walk a fortnight, how many sticks of rhubarb are there in a meat and “tatty” pie?

Well, it really depends on the size of the pie.

You see, if the man manages to walk an entire fortnight in one week, he is clearly moving at twice the normal speed for walking and will be consuming energy at twice the normal leisurely rate.

As such we must consider the pie size, it’s crust density, the calorific content of crust and any gravy contained therein (along with that of the meat and potatoes of course) and the use of the rhubarb in the first place.

Rhubarb adds astringency to the pie.

Is it a very big pie?

Does the man like his pies to have a slight or pronounced acidity level.

How many pies does the man consume during his venture.

Does he need to use the toilet often ( a sign that the pie/s are overly acidic and too much rhubarb has been included) and would he not be better off if the rhubarb was added to his Yorkshire pudding instead which is the traditional way of doing things.

There are far too many unanswered variable for a definitive answer but the general opinion here at the department of nutrition and biological physics in Beijing is ONE stick in a normal medium sized pie, but TWO if working at twice the speed.

But we have to stress the need for more empirical data for a completely accurate answer.