How do I deal with controlling in laws?

I’ve been married for 3 years and I have a baby girl. It all started 2 Christmas’ ago when me and my husband had been married a few months. My husband, myself, and baby were visiting with his family and it was a week before Christmas and his mom asked what time we would be coming to Christmas at her house on Christmas morning. My husband told her that we would be having Christmas morning at our house because we will still see his mom on Christmas in the evening. (We have Christmas at his grandmas every evening on Christmas and it’s with his moms side of the family) so it’s not like we don’t see her on Christmas. Well then when we told them that my husbands grandma said “I couldn’t imagine not going to my moms house on Christmas” (also my mom passed away 5 years ago- It really aggravated me that everyone was jumping down our throat over this decision. I’m a really sensitive person and love to make everyone happy but clearly they weren’t. I stressed out until Christmas Eve when I gave in and went to his moms on Christmas morning at 9 am keep in mind we go 5 places on Christmas Day to see all of our family!

So to this past Christmas.. my SIL texted me and started guilt tripping me that it’s “their tradition” to do Christmas morning at her moms and I need to think about her mom. I even suggested doing it another day and she said “it’s just not the same”

This is the first argument me and my SIL have been in and now I get instantly irritated when I see them. Opinions?