Serious answers only: has anyone ever used a penis extender?

If you mean one of these penis pumps ,  then steer clear of it .It can mae you erect quite quickly , but if thats your issue it would be better to consult your doctor . I also had issues with the penis rrings pulling my pubic hair . 

not sure but i think if you want to you should consult a doctor first. and try a penis care product like man1 man oil for some extra help- their vitamin c ingredient helps increase blood flow. cheers. 

No.  My penis is fine the way it is.  I have heard about them and i have a friend who has tried one on before...it did not fit him.  He is not thick enough for the tool, it is not a one size fits all tool

Penis extenders do not work.

If they did, the internet would be loaded to the gills with folks showing off their foot-long *****.

Long story short, the tissue in your penis that fills with blood to become erect does not respond to tension by stretching.

No none of the penis enlarges work and a lot of them just leave you with erectile disfunction 

The best form of lengthening the penis, is to tie a rope to a brick, to tie the other end to the glans, and walk with him a mile.  

No, those things damage your penis, bad idea.

I tried a house brick on a string. It just made my eyes water.