I'm 26 and I've been talking to a 39 year old guy in a different state. Advice?

Your Aunt is right.

Ha hi I’m from Ct. men here are bone heads lol. But anyways , I do partially agree with your aunt in this scenario and I think he might have too without realizing it?? I’m 23 and I date a 32 year old, but he has no kids and we both work our a s s e s off through out the week. I think what I see here is a big age gap with different life experiences. He is almost middle aged with three kids and you are at an age where you might want kids soon? Maybe? Maybe I’m wrong, but do you think he will want to add another kid or two onto his plate? If that’s a no, then I don’t think it’s a great idea down the line at all. You need to think about what your needs are and what you want out of somebody in a relationship (long term) . You also have to think about taking on the responsibility of ( dealing possibly even parenting) those three kids, or deal with him being with those three kids while you are there. Are you ready for that?? So many questions , but from what I’ve seen I agree with your aunt and it seems like your aunt knows best and knows he isn’t a match for you. I don’t think you are wrong for exploring your options. If he felt like the right guy to be with, I don’t think you would’ve been able to go do that hook up. When I was talking to my boyfriend and I was sure I wanted to date him, I felt extremely guilty of even trying to make plans with other guys. I hope this helped :)

OK, well...your aunt is right, but only because she is making assumptions that are wrong.  (ironically)  For any marriage to survive, your spouse must be your first and only priority.  And that includes children specifically.  Children grow up and move out and get a life of their own.  For that reason, it is insane to make your children your top priority.  It is better to think of children as temporary houseguests.  IF the children keep living with you when they reach adulthood, then you (as a parent) have truly f*cked up somehow.

Now your aunt says you will never be number one to him.  That would be true, only if we assume that he has his priorities screwed up.  But the irony is, if his priorities are screwed up...then a relationship with him will not work, whether he has kids or not.

Let me give you some advice that I wish someone had given me at your age...or even much younger than you are.  You need to live YOUR life.  Unless you are planning to marry your aunt, then the WORST mistake you can make is to take dating advice from your aunt.  My 1st marriage failed for the specific reason that my wife allowed her father to tell her how our marriage SHOULD be.  Never mind the fact that her father had a SHlT marriage....

She never got it through her head that I was her husband...and that she was not married to her father.  So she tried to run our marriage like her parents' failed marriage....and that just didn't work.

If you think you could be happy with the 39 year old guy, then you need to listen to him and stop listening to your aunt.  Unless (as I said before) you wish to marry your aunt...

You're wasting your time with both guys.  The 39 year old uses you as an escape once a month for sex, that's why you get along and all is easy...You're not together every day to see what it;s really like being with him and all his responsibilities.....you certainly would not be first on his priority list.

The other guy you hooked up with is also about sex for him.  You made it easy and he wants more of it.

Try creating a happy life for yourself without having to attach yourself to a guy.  There is no prince in shining armor to rescue you......you need to rescue yourself by raising your standards. 

How "out of state" is this guy? I don't understand why you've only seen him once. Travel has not been easy this year, but I managed to go back and forth to Phoenix twice. If he really wanted to, he could have seen you more. It's not the 3 kids that are the problem- it's that he doesn't seem all that interested. On the other hand, "hooking up" with some guy you're just talking to isn't the smartest thing, either. Try to find someone who really wants to be with you.