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Husband doesn’t want me hanging out with him and his friends ?
My husband hangs out w/ his friends about 1x a week. Basically all guys except one girl who is his friends wife. I stay at home with our son. I don’t ever hang out with friends since they live far away. My husband doesn’t like me hanging out with him & his friends unless his friends wives are there (which is super rare) but whatever thats understandable. But today he had plans to hangout w/ a few friends and one of them invited me (the one whose wife was there) and I said yes. My husband got really mad and basically ignored me the whole day we were out. Is it normal for guys to not want there ladies w/ them? I don’t understand the big deal. I never go out in general and I usually never go out with him and his buddies. Only on very rare occasions. It angers me with the was he’s acting towards it. He said he wanted time to spend with them and talk but he can do that any other week. It’s so frustrating cause I never go out ever
He’s in the military so all him and his friends are close. Most of them have gf’s or wives but they usually don’t bring their wives with them. It used to be him going out 2x a month but he didn’t like that so I told him 1x a week even tho I don’t necessarily like it but I don’t have a huge problem with it as long as he doesn’t come home late. I get he needs guy time but Idk why he got that upset. I find it selfish since he knows I never go out in general or with him and his buddies.
4 Answers
- Anonymous3 days ago
People always ask if something is "normal", but that's usually the wrong question. It's not about what's normal. It's whether something is working for both of you. Clearly, this arrangement isn't.
My reaction is that a guy's night out is fine, but once a week seems excessive. How many of these guys are married besides the one who brings his wife? It's not at all odd for a guy to do this when he's single, but the married guys I know (including my husband) wouldn't do this so often.
You need to talk to him, but before doing that, you need to figure out WHY this angers you. Do you think he does it too much? Do you think, as his wife, you should always be included? Are you jealous because he has an outlet like this and you don't? Also, what exactly did you say to him about treating you so shabbily in public?
Your last sentence said you're frustrated because you never go out. Fine, but that's not on him? Do you have friends you can make plans with? If not, what about taking a fun type course, like ceramics or cooking just to get out of the house and meet people. Even married with a child you need your own friends. We all do.
- i + iLv 73 days ago
Go whenever and as often as YOU want,
and ignore him -- after all, he is there to
hang out with his friends, so just enjoy
yourself without getting in the way of
that.
- Anonymous4 days ago
I do not see what his problem is. Is he embarrassed by you or something? There is no reason why you should not be allowed to attend given that you were invited. I can completely understand that at certain times he may need his own space and wants to have "boys nights" but if you have been invited and another wife is going to be there then I think you have every right to attend. If your husband is upset then I would simply say to him that he will barely notice that you are there and that you will not disturb him.
- OTTOLv 64 days ago
He will adapt. Let him stew. Continue making your own choices even if he pouts. He will eventually accept the new you.
