What do I do with my life?

follow your heart.

If you are good at something you like doing, do it.  You have heard many actors say it was their dream come true.  See if you can get on America's got Talent, open up a big window so many can see/hear you.

Take music lessons, take singing lessons, take steps to make your dreams come true.  Only you can take these steps. In a couple of yrs you will be of legal age to pursue your dreams.  Get in all the practice & lessons to make yourself even better.  Be the person you want to be.

 I wouldn’t let anybody discourage you from following your passion in life. When I was younger I was very interested in music and had talent in it. My father wouldn’t encourage me to pursue it however. He had money but he wouldn’t pay for me to take courses in music and languages and other things that I enjoyed.

 He paid for me to go to college but he and my mother wanted me to study what they wanted me to study. When I was away at college they had a music school and all I did was practice the piano and listen to music instead of going to my regular classes. And then I auditioned for the dean of the school of music and he said I really wasn’t up to their standards but he would give me a shot. And work with me. But I was terrified to do it because I knew if I transferred to the school of music my father would strangle me to death. So I never did. I never took the opportunity. 

And after that I tried to commit suicide so I had to leave college anyway and go back home.My father wanted to force me to become a businessman. I couldn’t. He was a businessman and he wanted me to be like him. 

But ironically he had also been very talented in music and painting and writing and I was also talented in music and writing if not painting. So basically I genetically  inherited at least two of these gifts from him but instead of letting me pursue them he was trying to force me into a field that I had no talent or willingness to go into. Business. And the only reason he went into business was because when he became a father (accidentally) he had to give up his own dream of being a musician. 

So I always thought that subconsciously, or maybe even consciously, he didn’t want me to be a musician because then I would’ve been successful doing something that he had always wanted to do but wasn’t able to because of ME. Because he became a father after he had my sister and me. And my sister was an “accident”. An unplanned pregnancy that happened with my mother when they were dating and then he felt like he was forced to marry her and start a family after she told him she was pregnant with my sister. 

And then after they had my sister they decided to have me for some reason.So because he got ‘trapped’ into being a father, he felt like he had to be responsible and go into the business world and give up the dream he had once had of being a pianist in a jazz swing band.I’ve always been bitter about all of this. That he blocked my ambitions and frustrated my ambitions to become something he had wanted to be but wasn’t able to because of my sister and I. Or so he thought. 

 I probably could’ve been a pretty decent musician and/or writer. But my father put every roadblock he could in my way so I wasn’t able to do these things. And then he started sending me to a psychiatrist to put me on psychiatric drugs when I was younger because I was so unhappy. So he basically ruined my life. 

Instead of becoming something that I would’ve enjoyed doing with my life, like becoming a musician or going into the music field in some capacity, the psychiatric drugs they gave me basically started ruining my body and brain and I just ended up going on disability and never making anything of my life. It’s the worst feeling in the world. To have wasted your life. It makes you feel terrible about yourself and can destroy your self-esteem.

Don’t end up like me. Go after your dreams and don’t ever let anybody tell you that you shouldn’t. Because even if you don’t achieve them, at least you will know you tried and the worst thing is knowing what MIGHT have been but never was ....because you were not even allowed to try it. 

Because people didn’t have faith in you and wouldn’t give you the support you needed. So sometimes I guess you just have to give it to yourself. 

And try to stay away from people who put you down and are negative about your talents. That’s a slow poison that you do not need. Just keep going after your dreams and your passions. You never know what will happen.

It IS unrealistic to assume that you will make the big times.  That doesn't mean that you have to just give your dream up, but getting a job in a lucrative field will allow you to be able to be an actor or entertainer instead of a STARVING actor or STARVING entertainer. 

.

It really depends on how bad you have that gene package. 

Some with it are able to live with not entertaining, but some develop depression if it's not pursued. 

I would say that you should keep it near as a hobby (or find an outlet like a local acting troupe) and keep your education to something more likely to earn you money reliably. 

After all, I am a middle of the road dude.  Or at least I'd like to be normal. 

Go to acting school. 

Also, pray for God's will and direction.   There are answers to life's questions in the Bible.  I suggest starting with the New Testament; Gospel of John first. 

Put a few of your songs on Youtube.

Someone may see it.

Then make some CD's to give away Cheap.

It takes awhile.It is too bad you don't have backup.