st.abbs

has been given 100 lashes in the Maldives.

Do you think that this is right, what kind of Justice is this?

By giving heroin addicts disability living allowance they are in fact giving them money to buy more heroin. D.L.A is supposed to be used to help people live as near a normal life as possible.

Surely these would be helpful in some situations.

She has started scratching her underbelly. She doesn't have fleas, could I use cortisone on her. Thank you

I don't have a spellcheck icon I use windows 7.

My landlord has now given me a notice to quite for no reason by the 4th Nov can I refuse to leave until he takes me to court.

I am on holiday and my landlord has been coming into my property. I have some cats and my neighbour has been looking after them, she has told the neighbour that she must put the cats out at night. The cats use a litter box at night, I don't put them out at night because of the foxes that roam the area.

Is the landlord entitled to come and go as they please?

Thanks in advance

I was in a web site (adoos.co.uk) and there is an advert offering an 8 month old child to white people, the add is under the child care section. The site also advertises Monkeys for sale which is illegal in the U.K I reported this to the police but they didn't really want to know.

Do you think that this kind of site should be allowed to operate ? or can the police truly not do anything about it.

When I start my computer it says cannot access multimedia sound control. I deleted some programs last week and now I have no sound. Tried to take my computer back to an earlier date but it always says cannot take you back to whatever date I put in. Any help would be appreciated.

1. Name the one sport in which neither the spectators nor the participants know the score or the leader until the contest ends.

2. What famous North American landmark is constantly moving backward?

3. Of all vegetables, only two can live to produce on their own for several growing seasons. All other vegetables must be replanted every year. What are the only two perennial vegetables?

4. What fruit has its seeds on the outside?

5. In many liquor stores, you can buy pear brandy, with a real pear inside the bottle. The pear is whole and ripe, and the bottle is genuine; it hasn't been cut in any way. How did the pear get inside the bottle?

6. Only three words in standard English begin with the letters 'dw' and they are all common words. Name two of them.

7. There are 14 punctuation marks in English grammar. Can you name at least

half of them?

8. Name the only vegetable or fruit that is never sold frozen, canned, processed, cooked, or in any other form except fresh.

9. Name 6 or more things that you can wear on your feet beginning with the letter 'S.'

A man walks into a bar with a paper bag.

He sits down and places the bag on the counter.

The bartender walks up and asks what's in the bag.

The man reaches into the bag and pulls out a little man, about 9 inches high and sets him on the counter.

He reaches back into the bag and pulls out a small piano, setting it on the counter as well.

He reaches into the bag once again and pulls out a tiny piano bench, which he places in front of the piano.

The little man sits down at the piano, and starts playing a beautiful Piece by Mozart!

'Where on earth did you get that?' says the bartender.

The man responds by reaching into the paper bag.

This time he pulls out a magic lamp. He hands it to the bartender and says:

'Here. Rub it.'

So the bartender rubs the lamp, and suddenly there's a gust of smoke and a

beautiful genie is standing before him.

'I will grant you one wish.. Just one wish... Each person is only allowed one!'

The bartender gets real excited. Without hesitating he says, 'I want a million bucks!'

A few moments later, a duck walks into the bar. It is soon followed byanother duck, then another.

Pretty soon, the entire bar is filled with ducks and they just keep coming, duck after duck after duck!

The bartender turns to the man and says, 'Y'know, I think your Genie'sa

little deaf. I asked for a million bucks, not a million Ducks.'

'No ****!!' says the man........ 'do you really think I asked for a 9 inch pianist?'

Out of curiosity does anyone know where the army buys it's ammunition and guns.eg bullets, hand grenades etc,rifles, machine guns. Is it a private or state owned company ?

Roman candle?

Mrs O'Donovan was walking down O'Connell Street in Dublin , and coming in the opposite direction was Father O'Rafferty.

"Hello," said the Father, "and how is Mrs O'Donovan? Didn't I marry you two years ago?"

She replied, "You did that, Father."

"And be there any little ones yet?"

"No, not yet, Father," said she.

"Well now, I'm going to Rome next week, so I'll light a candle for you."

"Oh, thank you, Father." And away she went.

Some years later they met again. "Well now, Mrs O'Donovan," said the Father. "How are you?"

"Oh, very well," said she.

"And tell me," he said. "Have you any little ones yet?"

"Oh yes, Father. I've had three sets of twins, and four singles. Ten in all."

"Now isn't that wonderful," he said. "And how is your lovely husband?"

"Oh," she said, "he's gone to Rome to blow your fookin' candle out

A man met a beautiful blonde lady and decided he wanted to marry her right away.

She said, 'But we don't know anything about each other.'

He said, 'That's all right, we'll learn about each other as we go along.'

So she consented, they were married, and off they went on a honeymoon at a very nice resort.

One morning they were lying by the pool, when he got up off of his towel, climbed up to the 10 meter board and did a two and a half tuck, followed by three rotations in the pike position, at which point he straightened out and cut the water like a knife.

After a few more demonstrations, he came back and lay down on the towel.

She said, 'That was incredible!'

He said, 'I used to be an Olympic diving champion. You see, I told you we'd learn more about each other as we went along.'

So she got up, jumped in the pool and started doing lengths. After seventy-five lengths she climbed out of the pool, lay down on her towel and was hardly out of breath.

He said, 'That was incredible! Were you an Olympic endurance swimmer?'

'No,' she said, 'I was a prostitute in Liverpool but I worked both sides of the Mersey !

A little girl goes to a pet shop and asks "excuthe me do you have any widdle wabbits?"

>

The shopkeepers heart melts, he gets down on his knees so that he is on her level and says

> "do you want a widdle white wabbit or a thoft fwuffy bwack wabbit, or one like that widdle bwown one over there?"

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The little girl blushes, rocks back on her heels, puts her hands on her knees, leans forward and whispers,

" I don't wealy fink my Pyfon gives a phuc."

Intelligence say that the 3 were known to them as extremists.

Do you think that intelligence had been surveiling them and that is why they were able to pinpoint them so accurately, if that is the case why were these men not arrested on suspiscion ?

Or do you think the suicide bomber in hospital told all he knew?

A man wakes up one morning in Alaska to find a bear on his roof. So he looks in the yellow pages and sure enough, there's an ad for 'Bear Removers.' He calls the number, and the bear remover says he'll be over in 30 minutes.

The bear remover arrives, and gets out of his van. He's got a ladder, a baseball bat, a shotgun and a mean old pit bull.

'What are you going to do,' the homeowner asks?

'I'm going to put this ladder up against the roof, and then I'm going to go up there and knock the bear off the roof with this baseball bat. When the bear falls off, the pit bull is trained to grab his testicles and not let go. The bear will then be subdued enough for me to put him in the cage in the back of the van.'

He hands the shotgun to the homeowner.

'What's the shotgun for?' asks the homeowner.

* 'If the bear knocks me off the roof, shoot the dog.

A woman walks into an accountant's office and tells him that she needs to file her taxes.

The accountant says, 'Before we begin, I'll need to ask you a few

questions.'

He gets her name, address, social security number, etc. and then asks,

'What's your occupation?'

'I'm a Lady of the night,' she says.

The accountant is somewhat taken aback and says, ' Let's try to rephrase that.'

The woman says, 'OK, I'm a high-end call girl'..

'No, that still won't work. Try again.'

They both think for a minute; then the woman says, 'I'm an elite chicken farmer.'

The accountant asks, 'What does chicken farming have to do with being a prostitute?'

'Well, I raised a thousand little peckers last year'

'Chicken Farmer it is.'

I have been given a violation notice for a question I have not answered.

Has anyone else had this problem.

The question was this really works know your age by what you eat, did anyone else answer this question?