buttercup

I sure would like to hear your comments about symptoms, treatment, and how much it's helped you. Although mine is very bad, I am constantly tired, depressed, not motivated at all!

Anyway, whichever, please let me know what you think as poetry. More importantly, if you see the story, let me know what you think of the situation. Important to me.

THE LONG ROAD

Sparks of both fire and excitement

Ran through me on this September day

When an innocent newborn baby girl

Came in my life to stay.

Some say there’s none more beautiful than a baby

Others think nothing more gorgeous than a rose

As a bud opens to a huge yellow rose with pink tint

It reminds me of what is so precious and sweet

And now a five year old curly blonde beauty.

She worked on my heart before she came

Much deeper at seeing my family in her little face

Distance made it slow to get close at first

But slowly she captured my heart and my soul

Ever square inch within a cocoon that will never unfold.

An unsettled life besieged her, but normalcy finally set in

With God’s help, she won’t face the scars of what was

Or those of what might have been.

Enlisting the help of those on Earth who love her unconditionally

Her love is not a stepping stone, not a reason, not a guarantee.

All the Lord would have her say is, “Please do what is best for me.”

Proud to hear her say “Mammie” and get up beside me for love

It’s okay if she avoids me like the plague

If it helps her, then I can remain tough.

Then alone with her, it’s a different world

One that’s special for us both

We talk and play lots of girl’s things

And she seldom wants to leave on this night

Holding hands for hours and often through the night.

It’s like she can love her Mammie

And feels that she doesn’t need to hide.

If she is gone for awhile at a time, I miss her

But if I fear, it’s only for her

For now there’s an unbreakable connection

Holding my ties with that angel secure.

The relationship between us, I, myself don’t understand

Occasionally, I feel her relax at the touch of my hand.

Sometimes she bursts out with emotions unexpected

I listen and tell her that it will be fine

As soon as she calms from her feelings, sound asleep she goes

But only after saying, “Mammy, please don’t tell anybody I told.”

She sleeps like a light through the night.

She fears “something” if people learn her feelings

And too long holds them inside

Anger, punishment, dislike, I just don’t know the reason

I just hope that she will come to me

And talking will help make it alright.

But I won’t worry if that simply can’t be.

The age she is, the time we’ve spent, the bonding that has formed

She knows she has a “Mammie” in the middle of any storm.

No more humiliation, no more fighing, no money left to burn

More people know the reality than I once thought ever did.

It’s time to be proud for the strong stance I held

And put this all behind

No more chasing after papers

That are not my responsibility to find.

When you’re talking of a child’s best interest

You’re wasting yours and the state’s time.

Only my prayers and heart are there for her now

That she’ll be strong, let her feelings out,

And keep a sense of what’s right and what’s wrong.

of one child removed and given to the father. She would not abide by court orders after being given nearly two years to take parenting classes, go to rehab and get off drugs, counceling, etc., and was arrested for harboring a fugitive during the time. During these four years after the first child, she miscarried one, and had a new infant. Upon birth, she knows who the father is sure enough to tell friends, but she does not tell the father. She lists "father unknown" on the child's birth certificate. Should she be allowed to take another child home? What do you think about not listing the father or at least a paternity test? Should our laws allow such as this to happen? She has no steady job, no drivers license, no vehicle, and is currently living with prestigious parents that have thrown her out of the house three times.

A Future Unsure

With the innocence of a gentle breeze

Into our life a tiny angel fell

Holding all bad emotions well at ease

We accepted this child that was born.

In doubt of even what race she’d be

We saw a tiny baby girl

And knew she was our granddaughter

No other father than our son was in the world.

At two and a half, the big storm came

Her mama left the scene

Living with her daddy and us

Long last stability!

At five years old, mom wants back in her life

But has done nothing to make a change

Another child, she now has a half brother

How do you handle a situation so strange?

She’s faced abandonment

She’s faced abuse

She calls her mom so what would you do

To assure she grows up with strong values to use?

What do you think is the reason for these changes?

And just how would you go about fixing any of it?

I'm using my home state of TN on this to keep numbers smaller. I'd say you would find close to this in many places. In 2000, we had a population of about 5,700,000.

Median family income was 36,300.

Of age 25 or above, 24.1% had no high school diploma

10,3% of families were under poverty level

There were 26.5% on s/s income

There was a categoric breakdown of females w/child under 18/no husband present at 165,842. women or 7.4%

Grandparents living with one or more grandchild totalled 119.968.

Grandparents responsible for grandchildren totalled 61,252. or 51.1 % of those households.

In TN, in 2006, it looked like this:

Total population at about 91,160.000.

Median family income 40,213. per year.

Age 25 and over w/no high school diploma - 19%

Families below poverty level - 12.4%

Familes on s/s income - 29%

Female headed household w/child under 18/no husband - 190,169.

The following new category had been added:

Male head of household w/child under 18 / no wife - 52,250.

Grandparents living w/ 1or more gchild under 18 in home - 126,231.

Grandparents responsible for gchild or children in home - 66,251.

Also was the category of Unmarried women giving birth within the last 12 months - 36.644.

In addition, in 1970 2.2 million or 3.2% of all American children (not just TN) lived in a household maintained by one grandparent representing a 76% increase over 27 years. The greatest percentage had one parent living in the household, also. Of these years, those living with mothers and a grandparent increased 118% and with those living with ONLY fathers increased 217%. Since 1990, the greatest increase by far has become those children living w/a grandparent and neither parent.Yes, we have plenty of social and economic issues facing us of late. But, we haven't had them for 27 years. What is causing this change in society?

And just how would you go about fixing it?

I'm using my home state of TN on this to keep numbers smaller. I'd say you would find close to this in many places. In 2000, we had a population of about 5,700,000.

Median family income was 36,300.

Of age 25 or above, 24.1% had no high school diploma

10,3% of families were under poverty level

There were 26.5% on s/s income

There was a categoric breakdown of females w/child under 18/no husband present at 165,842. women or 7.4%

Grandparents living with one or more grandchild totalled 119.968.

Grandparents responsible for grandchildren totalled 61,252. or 51.1 % of those households.

In TN, in 2006, it looked like this:

Total population at about 91,160.000.

Median family income 40,213. per year.

Age 25 and over w/no high school diploma - 19%

Families below poverty level - 12.4%

Familes on s/s income - 29%

Female headed household w/child under 18/no husband - 190,169.

The following new category had been added:

Male head of household w/child under 18 / no wife - 52,250.

Grandparents living w/gchild under 18 in home - 126,231.

Grandparents responsible for gchild in home - 66,251.

Also was the category of Unmarried women giving birth within the last 12 months - 36.644.

In addition, in 1970 2.2 million or 3.2% of all American children (not just TN) lived in a household maintained by one grandparent representing a 76% increase over 27 years. The greatest percentage had one parent living in the household, also. Of these years, those living with mothers and a grandparent increased 118% and with those living with ONLY fathers increased 217%. Since 1990, the greatest increase by far has become those children living w/a grandparent and neither parent.Yes, we have plenty of social and economic issues facing us of late. But, we haven't had them for 27 years. What is causing this change in society?

Watch them laugh

and watch them play

As if nothing ever happened

Until today.

Yet, they're poison to each other

And now to a young one

Bringing hurt to all that's helped or even tried

And it's my son.

I tried to help

I hurt myself the most

I watched near death and prayed that God

Would help them both.

Now here I am

Watching once again

I just don't think I can handle anymore

Would it be so bad for me to close this door?

When you answer a question there is a pulldown menu to get all answers, oldest to newest, rated highest to lowest... How are these answers rated as highest to lowest. I realize that it's not the point, the number of thumbs up,....what is it?

NEED HELP! Five years ago, I would have never needed or considered doing this. We were a very stable middle class family. I had raised two children and decided to go back to school and take some classes in psychology. I became very interested in that and social work and soon quit a 20 year job to return to school. Cutting our income in half was bad but after winning an academic scholarship at the end of two years, I went on for a degree in Social Work. I drove 100 miles per day to school. In the meantime, everything went haywire. I graduated in May of this year and have not gone to work because of family responsibilities. While in school, I dealed with a son in drug addiction but now with a long period of recovery. He became a father out of wedlock to a precious baby girl in 2003. She was abandoned to him at 2 1/2 years old with mother coming back in a few months. Shortly after, a 1 1/2 year custody battle began that became ridiculous. He now has custody of her. Both of them live with my husband and I. His work has been cut by the economy to part time. He has no government help or child support aiding with this child. My husband has just had a week a month cut from his job due to economy. Our savings have dwindled away with attorney fees, medical bills, even with a bond to get me out of jail on a false criminal charge. If not for my education, I would have never considered this lawsuit, but I have watched wrongdoing of Childrens Services, classism, false accusations placed in agency files and passed around to others for months concerning me when they were not only untrue but could have been easily tested for validity. Some of these things I have documentation of, a tape recorded interview with the head of an agency showing many mistakes, etc. Other things, I have very strong circumstantial evidence concerning. Nobody here wants to fight the state. The DA's office sure doesn't want to be involved when they work for the state also.

Some of the many issues include:

1) Sexual abuse of my then 2 1/2 year old granddaughter. The story came to me after a long period of talking about this person in a very traumatic story one night after seeing his father who looked very much like him. I asked her to tell dad and granddad the next morning. She said enough without going into details as she did with me. They took her to Childrens Services. It was thought that I MANIPULATED the child to tell this, and I doubt was ever even documented.

2) Mother and father still had custody but both sets of parents were ordered by the court to supervise with parents at all times, including me. At the same time, they held a document saying that I was believed to have character flaws, mental illness, abuse prescription drugs, and take illegal drugs. Do you leave a child with a parent that needs supervision to be done by someone like this?

3) I walked out of a Family Meeting according to them because I was unwilling to compromise or something similar. I did walk out and told them the reason why. I had listened to what would be to everyone's convenience for half an hour. Not once did I hear anything concerning "what was in the best interest of the child." They also wanted both parents to sign away custody to grandparents. My son refused to do so without it being heard before a judge. I refused to sign to take custody until both parents were said to be unfit before a judge.

4) My son's lawyer called and asked to see him and that he bring parents. When we got there, papers were already waiting for everyone to sign. Based on a conversation with Childrens Services, she had decided that there was no use representing him. She wanted him to sign rights to us. She would then become our attorney and fight to be able to get us JOINT custody with the other grandparents. She was fired.

5) For about two years this child did not know where home was. She usually was ordered to spend three days at one place and four at the other.

6) My son had held temporary custody since the abandonment. One night probably a year into this hearing, she was talking to me in bed before going to sleep. All of a sudden she said, "Don't you know that my daddy don't have custody anymore. Nana and Papa do" I just let it go and said nothing. The next morning I went to the courthouse to see the documents of the hearing. She was right! For 5 months they had held custody of the child. My son nor any of our family realized this. It was done on a court date where the judge had plainly said that he would not discuss custody that day...only visitation. He sent us in a room to decide on visitation for the next 2 weeks and said when settled, we were dismissed. The grandparents lawyer came out and returned to the podium. He said "your honor, we have one piece of business that we didn't address." The judge asked what, and bringing the paper to the judge, he said that it was the visitation agreement that we had made to be signed.

Even though I have written poetry and even had a couple published in journals, I have never fooled with anacrostic. This may be too long to be called one. Please let me know your opinions.

Horror and hurt

Unnecessary

Manipulation and shame

Injury for damage

Leaving me drained

Impalement inescapable

Attacked by prestige and pulled strings

This body weakens

Intervening with my character

Of all my values and morals

Nothing shows now but tears.

Two questions:

1. Should a person always show respect for birth parents who have raised them?

2. I have helped a 20 year old son through about a decade of drug addiction to see him finally clean. He is currently living with parents (us) trying to get back on feet with a 5 year old granddaughter that he has custody of, and we help with. Her mother has a new baby most definitely by another man. I questioned him about intentions at taking her & baby with him out of town, to eat, to movie... The mother has no visitation other than supervised and approved by him to his daughter. The child was born out of wedlock, also. When the child was 2 1/2 yr. old, the mother brought her and left her with him stating that she was unstable. She then left with a boyfriend to return in a month and spend another month in jail. He obtained temp. custody at that time. Of course, with all this and addiction involved, we have had our ups and downs, but I love him the same as 30 years ago. He felt I had no right to question the other night, and I received a verbal lashing full of anger and resentment with clearly no respect. It hasn't been mentioned since. I would much rather him used his fist. I could have gotten over the hurt much easier. I know we are both dealing with alot of stress right now, but what would you do in this situation?

1) In a custody battle, a guardian ad lit em is appointed to advocate for "the child's best interest" by the court. Should that attorney meet and observe everyone involved with the child or simply make the decision from the Department of Children Services information?

2) Should the DCS be allowed to hold hearsay in their folder about one of the family members involved in the case? Should this person be told that this information is in their files and given a chance to prove it wrong before it is passed around to judge, attorneys, guardian ad lit em, and all DCS workers?

3) When a case is settled, papers are to be filed with the court signed by DCS representative, attorneys, and judge. Without this, there is no record of custody or the fact that DCS is out of the case. What do you think about the fact that no papers have been filed six months after the end of the case?

4) Should the DCS caseworker for both mother and father be attending a private Halloween party held by the grandparents of the mother with her own children and lawyers present?

Would you consider these situations unethical, illegal, or both?

My general definition is of financial standing from working or having worked and made the majority of your own income. Living a comfortable existence, most likely w/a mortgage payment or rent but not having to worry about week to week existence. Usually a little savings for a rainy day. No government help.

b) Are you married?

c) Can you tell a change in your financial status over the past 5 years?

d) Do you fear the future financially? Why?

e) If there has been a change, can you pinpoint the reason why.

Such as the one by Antonio O. asking about veterans and ex pow's being against McCain. That's just an example. I have noticed several of these.