squirrel_nutkin

I am a guy in his 40s who recently met a girl I went to school with. Now we are all grown up 30 years later, we are both single. She and I have mutual attraction (which we have talked about) and we have kissed and held hands, etc. But thats not a problem.

The problem is this. She keeps saying to me that she does not want a relationship. But what I cant understand is that I have not asked her for one! Im happy with friends, or friends with benefits.. I really dont want to move in with her, or be a father to her kids, or anything.

But every time she feels like she is under pressure (her words) for example, she asked to meet me then stood me up, and I said "Id prefer a bit more notice" (Like I would with any friend or relative) she got upset and said "I dont want a relationship and I dont want to look after anyone emotionally"

I feel shes had bad experiences in the past and shes taking them out on me, but again- I have never been asked once what I want.. all she says is that she doesnt want a relationship.. she says it over and over, even though Ive never asked her to date me, or move in, or anything!

What should I do with this girl? Im happy being her friend but this is getting really tiring.

Hi I am a 41yo FTM guy and Ive known this woman in her late 40's who comes to my work for about a year. We were just friendly in a professional kind of way till one day she saw me at a bar. She came up and said hello to me. The next week she dropped into my work and said jokingly to me, "When you left the bar I got pixxed and danced on the table". She laughed and smiled at me a lot after that. Whenever she saw me, she would say "youre ignoring me again".

Anyway recently I have thought she might like me, so I responded to her by being more friendly and smiling at her, asking how she is etc. She is now acting a little more nervous and shes not flirting as much as she was (if thats flirting she was doing). I came and said hello to her the other day and I saw her physically jump like I had scared her. I asked if I had scared her and she replied "Not much scares me".

She came into work two days ago and told me that she needs some whitegoods and can I keep a look out for her. I replied that I would and she told me she only needs a small washing machine as she is on her own. I asked her for a contact number and when she gave me the card I saw along with her work number she had written her mobile as well.

Im also curious because she is a case worker for people doing community service and i had to sign some of their time sheets, so she had to have my personal details in order to submit the forms. She now knows about my gender status, so she knows im FTM and she knows that Im 41, and she knows that I havent changed my birth certificate yet. This seems important because she only began to joke with me about me 'ignoring' her ever since she found out about me being a transguy. Before that, she was nice to me but she didnt joke or (flirt) with me at all.

She now seems very shy and isnt flirting any more but she asked me how I was and how everything was going. There are other people in the store but she wants me to serve her (I work in a charity store). She talks to me only and follows me around.

One day I was serving her about 2 weeks ago and outside she touched my arm when i put something in her car.

I am fairly sure that she likes me, but since she is straight and Im a transguy I do not want to frighten her off by asking her straight out. Can anyone with any experience with this tell me what I should do next as I do not want to let this go if she likes me, but at the same time I dont want to push her or she might get scared- I know this is probably a new experience for her. She seems open to transpeople and we have had an MTF client which she was very respectful towards.

Any advice?

Hi everyone I met this girl three years ago. I was telling her how I didnt think I had any taste in clothes. She offered to meet me near her place and she would show me a shop that had the sort of clothes she thought might be nice on me.

Anyway we get there and I thought she was just going to show me the store but she looked at lots of clothes and made suggestions as to what I should try on. She then said "I want to take some photos of you" and she did that on her phone and sent them to her friend saying "Doesnt he look really cute" and "you look sexy in that". Her friend is also a friend of mine. She got me to walk around and she would sometimes come and adjust my pants or tuck a shirt in and things like that.

Anyway we went for coffee after this and we got on really well. I didnt ask her out as I knew that she had a partner although from what I gathered they werent the jealous kind or anything.

I quickly dismissed the idea of getting any closer to her as a friend out of respect to her partner because I had had an affair in the past with someone married and I thought that it was wrong to do that sort of thing any more. Plus I found this woman really sexy and I didnt want to be the third party waiting on the sidelines.

Now she is single, I hadnt heard anything from her in almost 3 years and she messaged me around the week that her partner broke up with her. She asked me how I was and saw that I was in another city. She said to me, if you are around my way it would be nice to catch up with you.

I wrote back and told her that I remembered that day and that I found it really nice. I admitted I didnt exactly like the clothes, but that she was really adorable and thats why I let her dress me up. (Which is true). She replied and said that I had made her smile and that I was really funny. (she has a good sense of humour apart from being quite intelligent, so I doubt she was taking the pi**)

The thing is, I dont want to take this any further at the moment, well I mean I cant because I am not going to be in her city for another 3 or 4 months anyway. But do you think that it would be safe to say that she could be interested in me? Im single as well.

I left a job without giving notice on Friday last week. My reasons were that a) my boss told me I was not allowed to speak at my desk as my talking to myself at the computer was annoying others and b) i was not happy that another employee had been making remarks about transpeople and gay people, saying he wanted to beat them up.

Im FTM and did not tell anyone about my gender status or the fact that I have a mild form of Autistic Spectrum Disorder, both things I thought werent necessary to reveal as neither IMO affected my job.

As for the talking it was no more than anyone else did at that job (all it was was saying things like "argh someone should blow customers up" when I was frustrated with them after Id finished the call, I was in an office where we got lots of people phoning up abusing us, others talked to themselves a little too).

My friend says that other employees white anted me because they suspected I was gay or trans after I complained about the violent remarks made regards trans and gay people.

But my question is- my boss sent me a rude email saying i was weak for not coming in and seeing him instead telling him in an email, he then went on to say that me being trans is a terrible sickness and i should see a psych. he made no mention of paying me either and Im afraid he wont. Im in Perth WA BTW.

I know he is an urban legend, and apparently he escaped from Bullens Animal World. But has anyone ever seen him? Tell me your story.

For example, I felt very sorry for Agnetha Faltskog after she had that affair with her 'stalker' - she actually started it herself. Or what about stars private lives that are splashed all over the paper where they have affairs or take drugs or behave really badly? Do you go off them? Or do you still idolise them the same?

She has one other alter which is her at a younger age. She says this person doesnt like men. But I have seen her wink at me often when she looks at me and when I ask her why shes winking she says she doesnt know she does it. Could it be this other person?

It doesnt affect her functioning, the other person only comes out when she has to do certain jobs, so I leave her alone to do them. But Im also finding that the knowledge of this other person is affecting me in that its bringing out the female side of me, and I suspect the alter is in love with my female side.

Has anyone else experienced this in the GLBT community, particularly those with gender issues? My gf doesnt have a gender issue but Im transgendered. Id appreciate any replies.

She has one other alter which is her at a younger age. She says this person doesnt like men. But I have seen her wink at me often when she looks at me and when I ask her why shes winking she says she doesnt know she does it. Could it be this other person?

It doesnt affect her functioning, the other person only comes out when she has to do certain jobs, so I leave her alone to do them. But Im also finding that the knowledge of this other person is affecting me in that its bringing out the female side of me, and I suspect the alter is in love with my female side.

Has anyone else experienced this in the GLBT community, particularly those with gender issues? My gf doesnt have a gender issue but Im transgendered. Id appreciate any replies.

This is a serious question. I'm 38, but when I get on a train if someone sits next to me i feel like I'm choking and I have to move. I don't hate people but when I have a girlfriend or a friend with me I'm fine and anyone can sit near me, its only when I'm on my own.

Also sometimes I get hurt and act like a child and say I hate myself or I'm dumb and stupid. I'm aware of this happening so i don't think its a dissociative disorder (my girlfriend has one). Its not a distinct identity, I don't think anyway.

I want to help myself but not sure how to go about it. Part of me does not want to change but my girlfriend isn't happy about my constant put downs and workmates notice. Ive always made myself the butt of jokes in the past and found it was a good way to get laughs. Now its no longer working for me but i don't know who I am.

What should I do?

I moved interstate to be with my new girlfriend. My daughter was very supportive but did express some concerns about if the relationship would work out. She is 19 and had moved out before to do her own thing so its not like she was a young child.

The relationship is working well and Im very happy. I had told my daughter that she is welcome any time to visit. I told her my new address and thats when she emailed me being really aggressive and nasty. She told me to get out of her life and that she doesnt want to know me. This is very upsetting to me of course. I am guessing she is jealous and feeling like Ive chosen this woman over her but we are both adults and at some point would have gone to do our own thing anyway. I am FTM transsexual and every relationship before this has ended in disaster but this one has succeeded.

My daughter has had problems in the past and gone to jail for a bit but has now become Christian.

I wrote back and said I love her. Have I done the right thing?

And do they hate people from Sydney? I come from Sydney and I had some problems using the new smart card which I think is great- but everyone has to start somewhere, right? Ive had bus drivers grumble about change for $5, whinge about me asking for help with the card, turn the bus off and refuse to let me swipe my card. One transit guard told me to throw my card in the bin when I asked for help with it. They laugh when I say Ive moved here from Sydney.

Am I being a bit sensitive or are they really as rude as they seem to be?

I have had OCD all my life, but Im currently experiencing some massive changes in my life. The funny thing is, theyre all positive changes, so why do I feel like crap and scared I might want to run away? I dont know if it is the OCD or fear of conflict in relationship.

I have a new job, and a new partner in a new state. I moved over here with nothing except a bag and I live with a friend. I didnt have much where I came from and I had a bad job with lots of stress. Now my job is great and my girlfriend is wonderful. But I feel horrible sometimes. If me and gf disagree or I say something she doesnt agree with, I feel like crap. Yesterday I panicked as the obsession "run away and go back home" kept going through my head. I know I wont do it, but the angrier I get with myself over thinking it, the more I think it so I think its the OCD. Mine is more obsession thinking than compulsions these days (I had compulsions as a child).

Can anyone help please?

Im looking for a book, possibly written in the 80s. It seems to be a Jean Ure- type book, although Im not sure if she wrote it; its that style.

Its about a young woman who leaves home and goes to work as a nanny. The father in that family tries to molest her, then she makes friends with a single mother with a young child. In the end she moves into this girls apartment and the ending is left open; the author makes a suggestion that the two of them are in a lesbian relationship.

Can you help? Id like to buy this book again.

I am really happy about how the internet has changed my life. I have learnt how to use an MP3 player to download songs that I have not heard since the 70s and 80s. my mother is 69 and she uses the internet to chat to friends as its cheaper than calling people and she looks up patterns for embroidery.

How has the internet changed your life? Id love to hear from senior citizens in particular.

This video is hilarious, but I can actually see Jean-Pierre's point in it. when I think about it, tall buildings plunging into the skies kind of does have a sexual connotation. What do you think? And yes, this is a serious question.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=twClBiSHcck

I had something quite weird happen to me the other day while I was waiting for a train. I am FTM. I was looking as I do round at people just to pass the time when I spotted this guy. The first thing I noticed was he had quite a large butt for a guy. Then I noticed he had quite a small head. Then as he turned around, I noticed he had a really small face, chin and adams apple was nowhere to be seen. I immediately guessed he was probably FTM. Its not something I do intentionally, its just that I am one too and I can see the little things others might miss.

Anyway he looked straight at me and looked quite upset. I think when our eyes met he knew I knew. And I felt bad and I walked away and caught the train in another carriage.

Has this happened to you?

I think that if you claim to be a real man, surely you would be able to get off your butt and get your own beer. You would enjoy helping your wife do chores, and be proud to be a decent man who loves women and doesnt degrade them. You would love children and pets, and not fight (unless someone was threatening your partner or family). You wouldnt drink to excess, or cheat on your partner.

So how come men think its smart or funny to be any or all of the above? Surely a real man would be proud to be kind and caring.

Im just curious. They say there are only men and women, as God only made men and women, but what about people with XXY intersex conditions and those with genetic conditions such as alpha reductase, CAH, pseudohermaphriditism, etc?

How does God see these people? as male, female, or otherwise?

I was reading in an article that they are both transgender characters in Mario. Your thoughts?

http://www.geocities.com/girlinside123/famous.html

I really really hate being called "Boss" by strangers. I find it really patronizing. Im not your boss, your boss pays your wages you fool. If Im in a store, I tell them off and demand to be called Sir. People can be so rude. I wouldnt dare call anyone boss I find it a joke. Is there anything that gets on your wick like that?