Reaver

ok so i asked my public defender today. that id like to file the dash cam video and audio from the squad car that pulled us over. to be submitted as evidence. he then says "they don't have cameras or audio in their cars only hwy patrol do" is he not being honest?

ok so i asked my public defender today. that id like to file the dash cam video and audio from the squad car that pulled us over. to be submitted as evidence. he then says "they don't have cameras or audio in their cars only hwy patrol do" is he not being honest?

i was charged 58-37-8(2)(d) the chanrge was not in my possetion the person with me at the time told the officers that every thing was his. and he was not indicted but i was. thurs not allowing me a fiar n just trial his statement will prove this. but i need an affidavit witch kind will i need? PS. we were in his car and i was the passanger and is was not on my person or property

i know the name "mirsha" is russian. But i would like for some one to tell me the meaning of this russian name.

around 3-4 months ago i mix equal parts water and sugar and added some lime juice and put it in a bottle now its still smells good and when i open the bottle it fizzes. is it good to eat? is there alcohol in it?

thanks for the help

does any one know the best way to one or can any one send me a fertile queen so that i can start mine

what is the fastest proven way to clean youre body of mary jane

what is the funnyest bathroom stall quote u ever read were?

Viagra Mickey Finn!

An elderly woman goes to the doctor and asks his help to revive her Husband's sex drive.

'What about trying Viagra?' asks the doctor.

Not a chance' says Mrs. Murphy. "He won't even take an aspirin for a headache."

'No problem,' replies the doctor. 'Drop it into his coffee,he won't even taste it. Try it and come back in a week to let me know how you got on.'

A week later Mrs. Murphy returns to the doctor and he inquires as to how things went.

'Oh it was terrible, just terrible doctor.'

What happened?' asks the doctor.

'Well I did as you advised and slipped it in his coffee. The effect was immediate. He jumped straight up, swept the cutlery off the table, at the same time ripping my clothes off and then proceeded to

make wild passionate love to me on the tabletop. It was terrible!

'What was terrible?' said the doctor, 'Was the sex not good?'

'Oh no doctor, the sex was the best I've had in 25 years...

but I'll never be able to show my face in McDonald's again!'

Amish meet The Elevator

An Amish boy and his father were visiting a mall. They were amazed by almost everything they saw, but especially by two shiny, silver walls that could move apart and back together again.

The boy asked his father, "What is this, Father?"

The father [never having seen an elevator] responded "Son, I have never seen anything like this in my life, I don't know what it is."

While the boy and his father were watching wide-eyed, an old lady in a wheel chair rolled up to the moving walls and pressed a button. The walls opened and the lady rolled between them into a small room. The walls closed and the boy and his father watched small circles of lights with numbers above the walls light up.

They continued to watch the circles light up in the reverse direction. The walls opened up again and a beautiful 24-year-old woman stepped out.

The father yells to his son, "Hurry boy - go get your mother!"

PS. if this joke is funny please give me a star thanks

i heard that trainig at a high altitude is good for you Y?

why do dogs twich there foot when you scrach there belly

Speech to the deaf.

An Englishman, a Scotsman, and an Irishman are all to give speaches to the Deaf Society. All are keen to make an impression on their audience.

The Englishman goes first and to the surprise of his colleagues starts by rubbing first his chest and then his groin. When he finishes the Scotsman and Irishman ask him what he was doing.

Well" he explained" By rubbing my chest I indicated breasts and thus Ladies and by rubbing my groin I indicated balls and thus Gentlemen. So my speech started Ladies and Gentlemen".

On his way up to the podium the Scotsman thought to himself I'll go one better than that English bastard and started his speech by making an antler symbol with his fingers above his head before also rubbing his chest and his groin.

When he finished his colleagues asked what he was doing. "Well" he explained" By imitating antlers and then rubbing my chest and groin I was starting my speech by saying Dear Ladies and Gentlemen".

On his way up to the podium the Irishman thought to himself I'll go one further than those mainland bastards and started his speech by making an antler symbol above his head, rubbing his chest, and then his groin, and then masturbating furiously.

When he finished his colleagues asked him what he was doing. "Well" he explained," by imitating antlers, rubbing my chest and then my groin and then masturbating I was starting my speech by saying Deer Ladies and Gentlemen, it gives me great pleasure......."

The Facelift

A woman decided to have a face lift for her birthday. She spent $5000 and felt really good about the result. On her way home she stopped at a dress shop to look around. As she was leaving, she said to the sales clerk, "I hope you don't mind me asking, but how old do you think I am?" "About 35," was the reply.

"I'm actually 47," the woman said, feeling really happy.

After that she went into McDonalds for lunch, and asked the order taker the same question, to which the reply was, "Oh you look about 29?"

"I am actually 47." That made her feel really good.

While standing at the bus stop she asked an old man the same question.

He replied, "I am 85 years old and my eyesight is going. But when I was young there was a sure way of telling a woman's age. If I put my hand up your skirt I will be able to tell your exact age."

As there was no one around, the woman thought, "What the hell", and let him slip his hand up her skirt. After feeling around for a while, the old man said, "Ok, You are 47."

Stunned the woman said, "That was brilliant! How did you do that?"

The old man replied, "I was behind you in line at McDonalds!"

In Just 3 Words...

A man was sitting at a bar enjoying an after-work cocktail when an exceptionally gorgeous & sexy young woman entered. She was so striking that the man could not take his eyes away from her.

The young woman noticed his overly-attentive stare & walked directly towards him. Before he could offer his apologies for being so rude, the young woman said to him, "I'll do anything, absolutely anything, that you want me to do, no matter how kinky, for $100 on one condition."

Flabbergasted, the man asked what the condition was. The young woman replied, "You have to tell me what you want me to do in just three words."

The man considered her proposition for a moment, withdrew his wallet from his pocket & slowly counted out five $20 bills, which he pressed into the young woman's hand. He looked into her eyes & slowly, meaningfully said, "Paint my house!"

PS.can i have a star if you like this joke thanks

Making Cakes

A little girl and her mother are walking through a park and see two teenagers having sex on a bench. The little girl asks her mother what they're are doing. After a moments hesitation, the mother replies "They're making cakes."

The next day the little girl and her mother go to the zoo. The little girl sees two monkeys having sex, and again asks her mother what they are doing. The mother again uses the same answer "They're making cakes."

The next morning the little girl says to her mother "Mummy, You and Daddy were making cakes on the lounge last night."

The Mother replies " How do you know?"

The girl says "I licked the icing off the sofa!"

PS. can i have a star if you think this joke is funny thanks

The Punk and the Old Fart

There was an old man in a bar who was staring at a punk in the corner. The punk had multicolored, spiked hair and multicolored feather earings.

After a while the punk got mad and said to the old man "What are you staring at?"

"Back when I was in the army I got really drunk one night and ****** a parrot.

I was wondering if you were my son."

PS. if you like this joke please give me a star thanks

The Splice

A man went to a doctor to have his pecker enlarged. Well, this particular procedure involved splicing a baby elephant's trunk onto the man's pecker.

Overjoyed, the man went out with his best girl to a very fancy restaurant. After cocktails, the man's pecker crept out of his pants, felt around the table, grabbed a hard roll and quickly disappeared under the tablecloth.

The girl was startled and exclaimed, "What was that?"

Suddenly, the pecker came back, took another hard roll and just as quickly disappeared.

The girl was silent for a moment, then finally said, "I don't believe I saw what I think I just saw... Can you do that again?"

With a bit of an uncomfortable smile the man replied, "Honey, I'd like to, but I don't think my rear can take another hard roll!"

A Lesson in Politics

A son asks his father, "What can you tell me about politics? I have to learn about it for school tomorrow."

The father thought some and said, "OK, son, the best way I can describe politics is to use an analogy.

Let's say that I'm a capitalist because I'm the breadwinner.

Your mother will be the government because she controls everything, our maid will be the working class because she works for us, you will be the people because you answer to us, and your baby brother will be the future. Does that help any?"

The little boy said, "Well, Dad, I don't know, but I'll think about what you said."

Later that night, after everyone had gone to bed, the little boy was awaken by his baby brother's crying. Upon further investigation, he found a dirty diaper. So, he went down the hall to his parent's bedroom and found his father's side of the bed empty and his mother wouldn't wake up. Then he saw a light on in the guest room down the hall, and when he reached the door, he saw through the crack that his father was in bed with the maid. The son then turned and went back to bed.

The next morning, he said to his father at the breakfast table, "Dad, I think I understand politics much better now."

"Excellent, my boy," he answered, "What have you learned?"

The little boy thought for a minute and said, "I learned that capitalism is screwing the working class, government is sound asleep ignoring the people, and the future's full of crap."

shrooms

I feel one with my surroundings i can breathe with the wind as i walk around the sea of energy only seeing my friends the swirling never ends we take energy from the land and everything is clear all those things we fear are just smoke and mirrors

-Reaver