Yahoo Answers is shutting down on May 4th, 2021 (Eastern Time) and beginning April 20th, 2021 (Eastern Time) the Yahoo Answers website will be in read-only mode. There will be no changes to other Yahoo properties or services, or your Yahoo account. You can find more information about the Yahoo Answers shutdown and how to download your data on this help page.

Lv 43,180 points

Lizzie M

Favorite Answers50%
Answers374

i am lizzie.i like ali merchant very much and very much like him.pls don't mistake me. i m charming enough and wanna b an actress or a singer.

  • I want to start a facebook page to help teenagers come out from depression and suicidal tendencies, Plz Help?

    These days, many teenagers stick on to social networking sites for each and every thing. I guess it is the easiest way to reach out to them and give them moral support because they are quite frank on facebook. Have come across many cases where teenagers have put up a depressed status and hung up themselves. I just want them to know that life in beyond all this.

    I have one starting motto: Setting up a page where they can share their problems, and people giving out instant solutions and trying to help them. Many might oppose my move, but I just want to do this. I plan to start from a facebook page, and then spread this thing to as larger a scale as possible. Maybe even setup a full-time organization.

    That was the introduction. This is where I need help.

    1) How to start? I know the basics of making a page, but on an individual level, how to promote it so that I can reach out to everyone, without using money. (I haven't started earning)

    2) Should I keep it interactive, so that people inbox me (on the page) their problems, so that they actually feel that I am interested in resolving their problems, or should I go with google form? So that they don't feel shy in sharing their problem because it is anonymous, or shall I go with both of them? whatever they are comfortable with? How do I use a Google form?

    3) How to reach out to each and every teenager? I really want this to work out and spread.

    4) What should I name my project? Some good name that clarifies my motto, but doesn't sound too business-like. This is not at all a profit-organization.

    Any new ideas you have are welcome too :)

    Any and any help regarding this will help me a lot ! Please help :)

  • Which phone to buy? Very confused...please help?

    I want to buy a new phone. Range Rs 10,000-20,000. Must have a front camera, device lock and decent battery life.

    I'd have to live with this phone for 3-4 years, so please help me wisely.

    I am very confused regarding what to buy.

    I shortlisted 4 brands and am listing the phones I made a list of.

    Nokia Lumia 520 or 720. ( Seems good for the price, but I don't prefer a Windows Phone)

    SOny Xperia series : So many to chose from. Plus many don't have a front camera. The ones I shortlisted were L, J , P , Arc S, Sola, Ray.

    Looks are no doubt the best in Sony, and makes me think sometimes that I might compromise on the front camera due to the looks.

    Samsung Galaxy Grand Duos: Seems good. Only, the screen size is a bit too large for me (my hands are tiny). Also, I think I'd get bored of it after sometime.

    So, here is the list of devices I looked up and found okay.

    Please tell me which one would you chose? and why?

    Please elaborate a bit and be descriptive. And help me chose.

    The answer which helps me the most will get 10 points :)

    Thanks a lot :)

    Please answer within 2-3 days.

    7 AnswersMobile Phones & Plans8 years ago
  • What color would go with yellow top? Please help.?

    I brought a nice yellow top which suits my complexion but it's a bit plain to wear causally, so I am wanting to team it up with a nice scarf.

    What color scarf should I go for? I want it to look casual and noticable, and meanwhile not too attention grasping.

    The top is of regular yellow color.

    I am thinking Black or Dark Brown. What color do you suggest?

    Any new tips for styling the top would also be appreciated :)

    Thanks in advance :)

    5 AnswersFashion & Accessories8 years ago
  • I really want to know what this dream could mean. Please help ?

    I've had this dream about a person very close to me.

    I am not talking to him and am angry with him from lot many days because he never has time for me. Whenever I am sad, he is the one I talk to. I write him letters and forget my sadness. I used to do that long ago but then stopped because I've started feeling he nomore cares. Deep inside I know he does care but he never has time for me these days since he has started working. Lately, he messaged me a sorry but I didn't reply back as I was angry.

    So,

    The dream was we together went to a meditation centre (the place where we met) in someone else's car ( who used to pick and drop me) and while returning I while I was getting out, he handed me over a bag. I refused to take it but he forcefully handed me the bag.

    I kept it safe so that my mom couldn't find it. When I came out after bathing, mom handed me over a letter she found in my bag. She told me that she had read it and thought it wasn't right.

    I got angry at her and ran towards the bag. She said it has some chocolates and a a bundle of notes, which is taken off from a diary and binded together. It means she read it.

    I was furious but I took the letter she gave me and read it.

    I don't remember at all what was in the letter.

    I've always written letters for him but he hasn't written any for me.

    P.S. He ain't my bf. He is more like a brother.

    What could this dream mean? What should I do?

    2 AnswersDream Interpretation8 years ago
  • I m 14,and jst 38 kgs,ht 5ft.m too skinny nd want to gain health and weight in nt more than 6 months.pls help.?

    Hi...i am lizzie.

    i am 14 years old and just 38 kgs.my height is around 5 ft.

    i am too skinny and am nearly flat-chested.

    i want to gain health, weight and of course boobs.

    plz help.

    i want to become fatter,weight gain is secondary.

    firstly i wana b fat.as fat as i can be.

    i can't find time to exercise.sorry but i hv to manage my school nd 4 hr coaching.

    i want to gain atleast 10 kgs in atmost 6 months nd minimum 1 month.

    please help.

    all i eat changes to energy nd nt fats.

    i want to know a proper diet for this purpose.

    a total schedule of what i should take in a week,so that i gain weight.

    nd yes i live in india so indian food diet suggestions wud b more appreciated.

    plz help.

    i wud b greatful.

    6 AnswersDiet & Fitness1 decade ago
  • how do i get thick, long eyelashes and smoothh, even, fairer knees and elbows?

    hi, how can i get long and thick eyelashes?

    no...not by using the fake ones, mascara, eyeliners, curlers or using market prooducts.

    i need only natural homemade recipies please!

    recipies related to removing black knees and elbows are also welcome.

    thnk u.

    8 AnswersMakeup1 decade ago
  • hi. i NEED to get FAIRER in 7 days....no market products please!only natural homemade recipies....please help!?

    hi this is lizzie. can u please tell me homemade recipies for getting fairer forever and getting glowing, clear smooth and supple skin.

    please.i shud get fairer in 7 days please....recipies taking more time are also welcomed!!!

    10 AnswersOther - Skin & Body1 decade ago
  • i am 13 and have small boobs(growing condition) nd their rate of growing isn't same...is it normal?

    hi.....i am 13 and have small boobs in growing condition.

    i don't wear a lingerie as they're not big enough and yes...the right one is big and the left one is small..i want to ask that is it normal or i shall consult a doctor ....will they ever be normal?size and shape difference is there.is it normal?

    i even have lots of pain during my menstruation....is this fyn?

    does my diet affect all this?what shl i do?i'm worried.

    please give your suggestions.

    15 AnswersWomen's Health1 decade ago
  • womans world...pls star if u like?

    WOMAN'S PERFECT BREAKFAST

    She's sitting at the table with her gourmet coffee.

    Her son is on the cover of the Wheaties box.

    Her daughter is on the cover of Business Week.

    Her boyfriend is on the cover of Playgirl.

    And her husband is on the back of the milk carton.

    **********

    WOMEN'S REVENGE

    "Cash, check or charge?" I asked, after folding items the woman wished to purchase

    As she fumbled for her wallet, I noticed a remote control for a television set in her purse.

    "So, do you always carry your TV remote?" I asked. "No," she replied, "but my husband refused to come shopping with me,

    And I figured this was the most evil thing I could do to him legally."

    *********

    UNDERSTANDING WOMEN

    (A MAN'S PERSPECTIVE)

    I know I'm not going to understand women.

    I'll never understand how you can take boiling hot wax,

    Pour it onto your upper thigh, rip the hair out by the root, and still be afraid of a spider.

    *********

    MARRIAGE SEMINAr

    While attending a Marriage Seminar dealing with communication

    Tom and his wife Grace listened to the instructor,

    "It is essential that husbands and wives know each other's likes and dislikes."

    He addressed the man, "Can you name your wife's favorite flower?"

    Tom leaned over, touched his wife's arm gently and whispered, "It's Pillsbury, isn't it?

    **********

    CIGARETTES AND TAM PONS

    A man walks into a pharmacy and wanders up & down the aisles. The sales girl notices him and asks him if she can help him.

    He answers that he is looking for a box of ta mpons for his wife. She directs him down the correct aisle.

    A few minutes later, he deposi ts a huge bag of cotton balls and a ball of string on the counter.

    She says, confused, "Sir, I thought you were looking for some ta mpons for your wife?

    He answers, "You see, it's like this, yesterday, I sent my wife to the store to get me a carton of cigarettes, and she came back with a tin of tobacco and some rolling papers;

    Cause it's sooo-ooo--oo- ooo much cheaper. So, I figure if I have to roll my own .......... So does she. (I figure this guy is the one on the milk carton!

    **********

    WIFE VS. HUSBAND

    A couple drove down a country road for several miles, not saying a word.

    An earlier discussion had led to an argument and neither of them wanted to concede their position.

    As they passed a barnyard of mules, goats, and pigs,

    The husband asked sarcastically, "Relatives of yours?"

    "Yep," the wife replied, "in-laws."

    *********

    WORDS

    A husband read an article to his wife about how many words women use a day...

    30,000 to a man's 15,000.

    The wife replied, "The reason has to be because we have to repeat everything to men...

    The husband then turned to his wife and asked, "What?"

    **********

    CREATION

    A man said to his wife one day, "I don't know how you can be so stupid and so beautiful all at the same time.

    "The wife responded, "Allow me to explain.

    God made me beautiful so you would be attracted to me; God made me stupid so I would be attracted to you !

    **********

    WHO DOES WHAT

    A man and his wife were having an argument about who

    Should brew the coffee each morning.

    The wife said, "You should do it because you get up first, and then we don't have to wait as long to get our coffee. The husband said, "You are in charge of cooking around here and you should do it, because that is your job, and I can just wait for my coffee ."

    Wife replies, "No, you should do it, and besides, it is in the Bible that the man should do the coffee."

    Husband replies, "I can't believe that, show me."

    So she fetched the Bible, and opened the New Testament and showed him at the top of several pages, that it indeed says .......... "HEBREWS"

    *********

    The Silent Treatment

    A man and his wife were having some problems at home and were giving each other the silent treatment.

    Suddenly, the man realized that the next day, he would need his wife to wake him at 5:00 AM for an early morning business flight.

    Not wanting to be the first to break the silence (and LOSE), he wrote on a piece of paper, "Please wake me at 5:00 AM . " He left it where he knew she would find it.

    The next morning, the man woke up, only to discover it was 9:00 AM and he had missed his flight. Furious, he was about to go and see why his wife hadn't wakened him, when he noticed a piece of paper by the bed.

    The paper said, "It is 5:00 AM . Wake up."

    Men are not equipped for these kinds of contests.

    **********

    God may have created man before woman, but there is always a rough draft before the masterpiece .

    18 AnswersJokes & Riddles1 decade ago
  • 9 things i hate!!!pls star if u lyk!!?

    1. People who point at their wrist while asking for the time...I know where my watch is pal, where the hell is yours? Do I point at my cr0tch when I ask where the t0ilet is?

    ********

    2. People who are willing to get off their *** to search the entire room for the TV remote because they refuse to walk to the TV and change the channel manually.

    ********

    3. When people say "Oh you just want to have your cake and eat it too". Damn right! What good is cake if you can't eat it?

    ********

    4. When people say "it's always the last place you look". Of course it is. Why the hell would you keep looking after you've found it?

    ********

    5. When people say while watching a film "did you see that?" No Loser, I paid Rs.125 to come to the cinema and stare at the damn floor.

    ********

    6. People who ask "Can I ask you a question?".... Didn't really give me a choice there, did ya sunshine?

    ********

    7. When something is 'new and improved!' Which is it? If it's new, then there has never been anything before it. If it's an improvement, then there must have been something before it, couldn't be new.

    ********

    8. When people say "life is short". What the hell?? Life is the longest damn thing anyone ever does!! What can you do that's longer?

    ********

    9. When you are waiting for the bus and someone asks "Has the bus come yet?" If the bus came would I be standing here, d*mb*ss?

    13 AnswersJokes & Riddles1 decade ago
  • joke-hey god!! make me a woman!!!!!!please star if u lyk.....?

    A man was sick and tired of goingto work every day while his wife stayed home.

    He wanted her to see what he went through so he prayed:

    "Dear Lord: I go to work every day and put in 8 hours while my wife merely stays at home.

    I want her to know what I go through, so please allow her body to switch with mine for a day. Amen.

    God, in his infinite wisdom, granted the man'swish.

    The next morning, sure enough, the man awoke as a woman.

    He arose, cooked breakfast forhis mate, awakened the kids,

    Set out their school clothes, fed them breakfast, packed their lunches,

    Drove them to school, came home andpicked up the dry cleaning, took it to the cleaners

    And stopped at the bank to make a deposit, went grocery shopping,

    Then drove home to put away the groceries,

    Paid the bills and balanced the checkbook.

    He cleaned the cat's litter box andbathed the dog.

    Then it was already 1 P.M.and he hurried to make the beds,do the laundry, vacuum, dust, and sweep and mop the kitchen floor.

    Ran to the school to pick up the kids and got into an argument with them on the way home.

    Set out milk and cookies and got the kids organized to do their homework,

    Then set up the ironing board and watched TV while he did the ironing.

    At 4:30 he began peelingpotatoes and washing vegetables for salad, breaded the pork chops and snapped fresh beans for supper.

    After supper, he cleaned the kitchen, ran the dishwasher, folded laundry, bathed the kids, and put them to bed. At 9 P.M. He was exhausted

    And, though his daily chores weren'tfinished, he went to bed where he was expected to make love, which he managed to get through without complaint.

    The next morning, he awoke and immediately knelt by the bed and said, Lord,

    I don't know what I was thinking. Iwas so wrong to envy my wife's being able to stay home all day. Please, oh please, let us trade back."

    The Lord, in his infinite wisdom, replied, "My son, I feel you have learned

    Your lesson and I will be happy to change things back to the way they were.

    You'll just have to wait nine months,though. You got preggo last night."

    27 AnswersJokes & Riddles1 decade ago
  • hey! 100 cool things about being a guy.....please do give star if u lyk thm?

    Hey!!!no offends please!!!m not a racist

    1. Phone conversations are over in 30 seconds flat.

    2. Movie nudity is virtually always female.

    3. You know stuff about tanks.

    4. A 5 day vacation requires only one suitcase.

    5. Monday Night Football.

    6. You don't have to monitor your friends' sex lives.

    7. Your bathroom lines are 80% shorter.

    8. You can open all of your own jars.

    9. Old friends don't give a crap whether you've lost or gained weight.

    10. Dry cleaners and haircutters don't rob you blind.

    11. When clicking through the channels, you don't have to stall at every shot of somebody crying.

    12. Your *** is never a factor in a job interview.

    13. All your orgasms are real.

    14. A beer gut does not make you invisible to the opposite sex.

    15. Guy in hockey masks don't attack you ... Unless you're playing hockey.

    16. You don't have to lug a bag full of stuff around everywhere you go.

    17. You understand why the movie "Stripes" is funny.

    18. You can go to the bathroom without a support group.

    19. Your last name stays put.

    20. You can leave the hotel bed unmade.

    21. When your work is criticized, you don't have to panic that everyone secretly hates you.

    22. You can kill your own food.

    23. The garage is all yours.

    24. You get extra credit for the slightest act of thoughtfulness.

    25. You see the humor in "Terms of Endearment."

    26. Nobody secretly wonders whether you swallow.

    27. You never have to clean a toilet.

    28. You can be showered and ready to go in 10 minutes.

    29. Sex means never worrying about your reputation.

    30. Wedding plans take care of themselves.

    31. If someone forgets to invite you to something, he or she can still be your friend.

    32. Your underwear is $10 for a three-pack.

    33. The National College Cheerleading Championship

    34. None of your coworkers has the power to make you cry

    35. You don't have to shave below your neck.

    36. You don't have to curl up next to a hairy butt every night.

    37. If you're 34 and single, nobody even notices.

    38. You can write your name in the snow.

    39. You can get into a nontrivial pissing contest.

    40. Everything on your face gets to stay its original color

    41. Chocolate is just another snack.

    42. You can be president.

    43. You can quietly enjoy a car ride from the passenger's seat.

    44. Flowers fix everything.

    45. You never have to worry about other people's feelings.

    46. You get to think about sex 90% of your waking hours.

    47. You can wear a white shirt to a water park.

    48. Three pairs of shoes is more than enough.

    49. You can eat a banana in a hardware store.

    50. You can say anything and not worry about what people think.

    51. Foreplay is optional.

    52. Michael Bolton doesn't live in your universe.

    53. Nobody stops telling a good dirty joke when you walk into a room.

    54. You can whip your shirt off on a hot day.

    55. You don't have to clean your apartment if the meter reader's coming by.

    56. You never feel compelled to stop a pal from getting laid

    57. Car mechanics tell you the truth.

    58. You don't give a rat's butt if anyone notices your new haircut.

    59. You can quietly watch a game with you buddy for hours without ever thinking, "He must be mad at me."

    60. The world is your urinal.

    61. You never misconstrue innocuous statements to mean your lover's about to leave you.

    62. You get to jump up and slap stuff.

    63. Hot wax never comes near your pubic area.

    64. One mood, all the time.

    65. You can admire Clint Eastwood without starving yourself to look like him.

    66. You never have to drive on to another gas station because "this one's just too gross."

    67. You know at least 20 ways to open a beer bottle.

    68. You can sit with you knees apart no matter what you're wearing.

    69. Same work...more pay!

    70. Gray hair and wrinkles only add character.

    71. You don't have to leave the room to make an emergency crotch adjustment.

    72. Wedding dress: $2,000; tuxedo rental: $75.

    73. You don't care if someone's talking about you behind your back.

    74. With 400 million sperm per shot, you could double the Earth's population in 15 tries, at least in theory.

    75. You don't mooch off of other's desserts.

    76. If you retain water, it's in a canteen.

    77. The remote control is yours and yours alone.

    78. People never glance at your chest when you're talking to them.

    79. ESPN's SportsCenter.

    80. You can drop by to see a friend without having to bring a little gift.

    81. Bachelor parties whomp *ss over bridal showers.

    82. You have a normal and healthy relationship with your mother.

    83. You can buy condoms without the shopkeeper imagining you naked.

    84. You needn't pretend you're "Freshening up" to go to the bathroom.

    85. If you don't call your buddy when you say you will, he won't tell your other friends you've changed.

    86. Someday you'll be a dirty old man.

    87. You can rationalize any behavior with the handy phrase "Screw it."

    88. If another guy shows up at the party in the same outfit, you just might become lifelong buddies.

    9 AnswersJokes & Riddles1 decade ago
  • continued jokes...funny surprise if u click here....pls star if u like?

    Santa: Why did the man put his radio in his refrigerator?

    Banta: I give up.

    Santa: Stupid, because he wanted to hear cool music

    *********

    Jasmeet: "Your honor, I want to divorce my husband Santa."

    Judge: "But why?"

    Jasmeet: "Because he is not faithful to me."

    Judge: "How do you know?"

    Jasmeet: "My lord, not a single child resembles him."

    *********

    From his deathbed, Santa called his wife Jasmeet and said, "One month after I die I want you to marry Banta."

    Jasmeet: "Banta! But he is your enemy!"

    Santa: " Yes, I know that! I've suffered all these years so let him suffer now."

    *********

    Banta: I was away for a week. Yesterday I sent a fax to my wife Preeto that I'd be home tonight, and when I got into my room I found Preeto in another man's arms.

    Santa: kept silent for a few minutes, then coolly said, " Maybe, she didn't get the fax."

    Five cannibals (Man eaters) get appointed as programmers in an IT company. During the welcoming ceremony the boss says: "You're all part of our team now. You can earn good money here, and you can go to the company canteen for something to eat. So don't trouble the other employees".

    The cannibals promise not to trouble the other employees.

    Four weeks later the boss returns and says: "You're all working very hard, and I'm very satisfied with all of you. One of our developers has disappeared however. Do any of you know what happened to her?"

    The cannibals disown all knowledge of the missing developer. After the boss left, the leader of the cannibals says to the others: "Which of you idiots ate the developer?"

    One of the cannibals raises his hand hesitantly, to which the leader of the cannibals says: "You FOOL! For four weeks we've been eating team leaders, managers, and project managers and no-one has noticed anything, and now YOU ate one developer and it got noticed. So hereafter please don't eat a person who is working ."

    Prince Charles & Santa Singh were having dinner.

    Prince said, "Pass the wine you divine".

    Santa Singh thinks "how poetic"

    Santa Singh says, "pass the custard you bastard".

    ************ ********* ********* ********* ********

    Banta Singh at bar in New York.

    Man on his right says "Johny Walker single"

    Man on his left says "Peter Scotch single"

    Banta Singh says - "Baljith Singh Married"

    ************ ********* ********* ********* ********

    Boss : am giving u job as a driver. STARTING salary

    Rs.2000/-, is it o.?

    Santa Singh: U R great sir! Starting salary is o.k.......but? ?

    How much is DRIVING salary...?

    ************ ********* ********* ********* ********

    Santa-Banta Theory : Moon is more impt than Sun, coz it

    gives light at night when light is needed & Sun gives light during

    the day when light is not needed!!!

    ************ ********* ********* ********* ********

    Santa & Banta Singh were driving a Car, one puts on the indicator

    and asks the other to check whether its working, he puts his head

    out and says YES...NO...YES. ..NO...YES. ..NO...

    ************ ********* ********* ********* ********

    Santa Singh shouting 2 his girl friend " u said v will do

    register marriage and cheated me, I was waiting 4 u

    yesterday whole day in the post office....

    ************ ********* ********* ************ *****

    Banta Singh is in a dissection class of cockroach. He cuts

    its 1 leg, and says, "chal", it walks.

    He cuts 2nd and 3rd legs and said, "chal" , it walks.

    He cuts all the legs and said, "chal...." Finally he

    wrote the conclusion.. ....

    ....... "after all the legs of a cockroach are cut -

    it becomes deaf......"

    ************ ********* ********* ********* ********

    A Tamilian call up Santa Singh and asks " tamil therima??"

    Santa Singh got mad, angrily replied.... "Hindi tera baap!!!"

    ************ ********* ********* ********* ********

    Santa & Banta Singh looking at Egyptian mummy.

    Santa Singh: Look so many bandages, pakka lorry accident case.

    Banta Singh: Aaho, lorry number is also written...BC 1760!!!....

    ************ ********* ********* ********* ********

    Banta Singh on an interview 4 da post detective.

    Interviewer : who killed Gandhi?

    Banta Singh: Thank u sir 4 giving me d job, I will start investigating now....

    ************ ********* ********* ********* ********

    Santa Singh for an exam had studied only one essay

    'FRIEND', but in the exam the essay which came was 'FATHER' . he replaced

    friend with father in the essay and>it read:

    I AM A VERY FATHERLY PERSON, I HAVE LOTS OF FATHERS,

    SOME OF MY FATHERS ARE MALE AND SOME ARE FEMALE. MY

    TRUE FATHER IS MY NEIGHBOUR.

    ************ ********* ********* ********* ********

    Interviewer: what s ur qualification?

    Banta Singh: Sir I am Ph.D.

    Interviewer : what do u mean by Ph.D?

    Banta Singh: (smiling) PASSED HIGHSCHOOL with DIFFICULTY.. ..

    ************ ********* ********* ********* ********

    Amitabh : In which state Cauvery flows?

    Santa Singh: liquid state.....

    Audience clapped.. Amitab stunned, looks behind, ALL WERE SARDARS....

    A woman's husband had been slipping in and out of a coma for several months, yet she had stayed by his bedside every single day.

    One day, when he came to, he motioned for her to come nearer. As she sat by him, he whispered, eyes full of tears, " You know what? You have been with me through all the bad times.

    When I got fired, you were there to support me.

    When my business failed, you were there.

    When I got shot, you were by my side.

    When we lost the house, you stayed right here.

    When my health started failing, you were still by my side...

    You know what?" "What dear?", she gently asked, smiling as her heart began to fill with warmth.

    "I think you're bad luck."

    INTERVIEW: Imagine, in a closed room, how can you escape if it caught fire?

    Sardar: Simple, stop imagining.

    Sardar starts shouting in a store... where is my free gift with this oil?

    Shopkeeper : There is nothing free with this

    Sardar: It is written CHOLESTROL FREE.

    Sardar: in my dreams rats play football every night

    DR: take this tablet you will be ok

    Sardar: Can I take tomorrow, tonight is final match.

    One day a man calls his wife from his IDEA mobile his call gets cross connected to some other lady. They still keep on talking. They start

    liking each other. And finally they get married.

    Moral of the story…

    An IDEA can change your wife.

    SEHWAG's SON: Mummy mummy !! dekho papa six pe six mar rahe hain

    SEHWAG's WIFE: Beta theek se dekho,advertisement hoga.

    Titanic was sinking.

    An Englishman asked Santa, "How far is land"?

    Santa: 2 KMs.

    Englishman jumped into sea.

    Englishman: Now, which direction?

    Santa: Downwards !

    Two days of power cut in Delhi had made life miserable. Worst affected was Delhi Metro station where families of Santa & Banta were struck for 48 hrs on escalators.

    21 AnswersJokes & Riddles1 decade ago
  • funny surprise if u click here....please star me if u liked it.?

    A Manager of the branch bank found he had no space left to store old records.

    He wrote to his regional manager Banta to for permission to destroy old records.

    Banta Singh replied back: "I do not mind your destroying old records but please make sure you keep photo-copies of all the destroyed papers".

    ************ ********* ********* ********* *

    Santa and Banta decide to go picnicking one day. When they get there, they realize they`ve forgotten the whisky.

    Banta says he go and get it if he promises not to eat the chicken till he gets back.

    Now, Santa waits and waits till a whole day goes by, when Santa says to himself: Come on, I`m hungry. He is not going to come back so let me eat the chicken anyway.

    Suddenly Banta pops up from behind a tree and says: If you do that, I won`t go !

    ************ ********* ********* ********* *

    Banta showed his palm to a palmist . He examined the lines on Banta s hand & said, A beautiful girl will come into your life, but be very careful.

    Why should I have to be careful? asked Banta. She should be careful of her life. I drive a Blueline bus!

    ************ ********* ********* ********* *

    Walking up to a department store`s fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"

    "Only one kiss per meter madam," replied Banta (clerk).

    "That`s fine," replied the girl. "I`ll take five meters."

    "Five meters only?", asked Banta "Hmmmmm..", girl thinks for a moment and said, "Ok give me ten meters" With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, Banta hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly.

    The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her. "Grandpa will pay the bill," she smiled.

    Bush, Manmohan, Aishwarya Rai and Sonia are traveling in a train.

    The train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark.

    Suddenly, there is a kissing sound and then a slap!

    The train came out of the tunnel.

    The women and Manmohan are sitting there looking perplexed.

    Bush is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap.

    All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

    Sonia is thinking:

    These Americans are all crazy after Aishwarya.

    Bush must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him.

    Aishwarya is thinking:

    Bush must have tried to kiss me but kissed Sonia instead and got slapped.

    Bush is thinking:

    Damn it. Man Mohan must have tried to kiss Aishwarya. She might have thought it was me and slapped me.

    Man Mohan is thinking:

    If this train goes through another tunnel and I will make another kissing sound and slap Bush again.

    23 AnswersJokes & Riddles1 decade ago
  • funny surprise if u click here....please star me if u liked it.?

    A Manager of the branch bank found he had no space left to store old records.

    He wrote to his regional manager Banta to for permission to destroy old records.

    Banta Singh replied back: "I do not mind your destroying old records but please make sure you keep photo-copies of all the destroyed papers".

    ************ ********* ********* ********* *

    Santa and Banta decide to go picnicking one day. When they get there, they realize they`ve forgotten the whisky.

    Banta says he go and get it if he promises not to eat the chicken till he gets back.

    Now, Santa waits and waits till a whole day goes by, when Santa says to himself: Come on, I`m hungry. He is not going to come back so let me eat the chicken anyway.

    Suddenly Banta pops up from behind a tree and says: If you do that, I won`t go !

    ************ ********* ********* ********* *

    Banta showed his palm to a palmist . He examined the lines on Banta s hand & said, A beautiful girl will come into your life, but be very careful.

    Why should I have to be careful? asked Banta. She should be careful of her life. I drive a Blueline bus!

    ************ ********* ********* ********* *

    Walking up to a department store`s fabric counter, a pretty girl asked, "I want to buy this material for a new dress. How much does it cost?"

    "Only one kiss per meter madam," replied Banta (clerk).

    "That`s fine," replied the girl. "I`ll take five meters."

    "Five meters only?", asked Banta "Hmmmmm..", girl thinks for a moment and said, "Ok give me ten meters" With expectation and anticipation written all over his face, Banta hurriedly measured out and wrapped the cloth, then held it out teasingly.

    The girl snapped up the package and pointed to a little old man standing beside her. "Grandpa will pay the bill," she smiled.

    Bush, Manmohan, Aishwarya Rai and Sonia are traveling in a train.

    The train goes through a tunnel and it gets completely dark.

    Suddenly, there is a kissing sound and then a slap!

    The train came out of the tunnel.

    The women and Manmohan are sitting there looking perplexed.

    Bush is bent over holding his face, which is red from an apparent slap.

    All of them remain diplomatic and nobody says anything.

    Sonia is thinking:

    These Americans are all crazy after Aishwarya.

    Bush must have tried to kiss her in the tunnel. Very proper that she slapped him.

    Aishwarya is thinking:

    Bush must have tried to kiss me but kissed Sonia instead and got slapped.

    Bush is thinking:

    Damn it. Man Mohan must have tried to kiss Aishwarya. She might have thought it was me and slapped me.

    Man Mohan is thinking:

    If this train goes through another tunnel and I will make another kissing sound and slap Bush again.

    15 AnswersJokes & Riddles1 decade ago
  • here's a fun teenager's game.....star if u like it. it goes like tis...?

    u hv 2 first answer t ques. and then match t ans. with t 2nd list of ques.

    1.what's ur name

    2.hv u been hit by a car

    3.do u watch tv

    4.a boy/girl u like t most

    5.no btwen 10-100

    6.ur fav. fruit

    7.what do u do when u r angry

    8.do u like music

    9.no btwen 1-10

    10.ur fav. animal

    11.do u lik chocolates

    12.ur fav. place in ur house

    13.boy/girl u hate

    14.ur best friend

    15.do u like chewimg gum

    16.why

    now match ur answer order wise with these ex

    like the ans u gave in ques 1 will b now t ans. of ques1 of the below ques:-

    1.wat's ur name

    2.r u sure

    3.hv u been kissed

    4.by whom

    5.how mny times

    6.what did it taste like

    7.wat was ur reaction aftr tat

    8.r u married

    9.how many chhildren do u hv

    10.how do they look like

    11.did u hv an affair

    12.where

    13.with whom

    14.who told u to do so

    15.will u like to do it again

    16.why

    hope u had fun .please star me.

    take care.

    see yaa.

    17 AnswersJokes & Riddles1 decade ago
  • can someone pls help me out...?

    ...in finding t e mail id of ali merchant? i've a big crush on him sorry to use this word.pleeaaase.i searched a lot but didn't find it.pls help.

    6 AnswersCelebrities1 decade ago
  • does anyone know japanese???

    i want to know.

    4 AnswersLanguages1 decade ago
  • how can i stop it???

    i cannot enjoy my life just bcoz of the fights with my friends.i try to but something or the other reminds me of the fight and i cannot enjoy anything.someone help.

    22 AnswersFriends1 decade ago
  • how can i deal with fights with my friends?

    My friends think that i get angry fast. I can't help stop it. How can i stop this. I need advice.

    7 AnswersFriends1 decade ago