Melaney Estrada

Ladies im in a situation that isn't too easy. And I am asking please no rude answers. Thank you!

So currently I am separated from my husband, and it's going on 2 months. We both changed and other things along the way became a problem on our marriage. In the beginning the separation was hard on both of us, and the break was really not being taken serious until just recently. We just recently started to go on dates 1 to 2 a week. Speaking for me- I pushed him away with my jealousy, and intimacy was a hard thing for me. Right now I am working on both of these things.

Just recently I found out he was talking to someone else- I have had the worse time with dealing with this, and we have talked about it. He told me it was just a friend and someone to talk too. I know this is not something I should be okay with, and I am not, but feel like god is testing me in the biggest way ever-my jealousy and trust (hope this makes sense). As a women a part of me has blocked it out as much as I can, and trying to just focus on me, and always show him I am happy, dressed up and can live with out him, but another part me is holding back the whole topic of competely talking to him about it. A part of me is wanting to give him an ultamatium, because this is something I can't accept anymore.

Right now just have too much going through my head. My husband still texts or calls me everyday. We see eachother about 3 times a week. I know this sounds like a situation where it's having your cake and eating too!

I feel like I need to force him to cut her off, or just tell him to leave me alone until she is out of the picture.

So for those who have been through this were you able to get your husband to stop all conversation with that person?

What did you do for yourself to help?

How long did it take you?

Thank you ladies for any advice or your opinions.

To the men who have been through this or experienced this looking for some positive feedback and or opinions/advice.

7 years ago I met my husband, and we hit it off really well. Chemistry was very clear to see. Although there was a 9 year age difference we still seem to click. 3 years after we married, and things were going well. I have 3 kids from a previous marriage (dad has been deceased for 5 years), so my husband is like there father. He also had 1 child from a previous marriage (which we no longer see).When I was 33 I had a tubal reversal done, thinking we would have a few kids together, but we have not been successful with it, and right now my only option is In Vitro.

So over time things started to go down hill- I was being a very jealous person, me not being able to conceive naturally, and him loving me, but not in love with me slowly started to impact our marriage. I did not take some of it seriously, and got too comfortable with him. Looking back now I see all the mistakes I made, and some things I should have done differently. And this all lead up to separation, so currently we are separated. As a women I have definitely respected his space and been understanding, although it's been rough. During this time he met another lady, and has been talking to her for about 3 weeks, but I just recently found out, and confronted him about it. And it's a friend, but it's killing me inside to know he is talking to this person, but instead of reacting I am trying to maintain myself, and my jealousy, which is one thing that got me in this position to begin with. And I realize that couples do separate and some meet new people to just talk to and to sometimes see what everything means to them. Right now I don't want to feel like a back up or strung along. But I also do not ever bring her up or show that I can't trust him. In the beginning I did have questions, but now I am focusing on me and showing him that I am a beautiful women inside and outside. We still have date nights 1 to 2 a week, and always talk about how we feel, and how we got to this, and just enjoy eachother's company. I am working on getting him to be in love with me again, he loves me but is not in love with me. I really feel that some of the reasons he has tried to make this all about such has wanting a family of his own is not really playing a big role in this. I feel like it's more about him being so confused about what he wants in his life right now. One last thing- My intimacy did slip at some point in our marriage, and I am currently working on that too. I just don't want to feel like I am competing with this other gal.

So gentleman my questions to you are;

1) Do I continue to act like I don't care that he is talking to this other person?

2) Do I cut him off plain turkey and tell him to go figure out what he wants?

3) Do I make him miss me?

4) And how do I play my cards right with getting him to be in love with me again?

5) How can I slowly get some of the focus away from her and more on me?

The best possible way that I am looking at this, is the man still obvioulsy loves me, we have invested 7 years with eachother. This other gal is something new and exciting, and most of the time it dies.

Anyone that will not be mature about this please don't bother to reply.

Thank you gentlemen in advance for your input.

Hello Ladies,

LIttle confused about this months cycle. And just not sure what could possibly be going on. My lmp was on Jan 12th and it was a regular period. This month I did not get a full period. Feb 7th I went to the bathroom in the morning when I woke up and there were 2 small spots of birght pink blood, the next day there was light crusty brown when I wiped, then that evening me and my husband had intercourse, and was hoping it would start my period, but nothing, when I went to the restroom and wiped there was nothing, but when he cleaned himself it very very little pink. The next day when I went to the bathroom I wiped and it there was more bright pink blood and a little more when I wiped, and like my period was going to be coming, but never did. I took a test Sat. night and it was negative.

I have been having cramping off/on, but nothing else. I was having a lot of back cramps on Feb 7th when I had the 2 small dots of pink. Then cramping off/on, on both sides of my abdomen.

I am not sure what to make of this. I have always had regular periods, and I have also experienced 2 ectopic pregnancies, but both pregnancy tests came out positive for me. And I do know what those feel like, and this is nothing like it at all. I was thinking of taking another pregnancy test today.

Thank you for all your thoughts and opinions. Best of luck to all you ladies ttc!!

First of all only looking for answers from men/women who are going to respect the question, and have a mature respectful answer...Thank you!

I am getting ready to separate from my husband of 7 years, and it's been a difficult time for me.I know most women here the word separate or break, and they freak out and start thinking the worse, and I know some times men get to a point where they are tired of seeing there wife cry, and are always looking sad, but some times feelings are the hardest to control.

I can't hold him back from going, so doing what I need to do in my marriage by giving him the break he has asked for, but at the same time I feel like i am on an emotional roller coaster, and don't want to be..He has told me several times "you will know where I will be, and can come and see me anytime you want", but I feel like I need to just stay away, and give him his space. I don't want to feel like I am hunting him down...There are many many things I want to tell him, but have held back, because I do not want to say something wrong or hateful! Because honestly I feel like he is walking out on his marriage, and just leaving me and my kids hanging, but at the same time I am looking at this from his point of view, and the reason why he is doing this. I have held back with many things I want to say. I have also become powerless, and it seems that he has had all the power, and has made all the decisions with this separation.

Also I feel that he is still obligated to help me financially as a man.

And I feel like I need to put some fear into him with losing me, because that is exactly I feel with him.

We have had some difficult times, and have always found a way to get through them. I wanted to get through this time also, but it's not going to happen.

Do I step in and set some of my own boundaries?

Do I set the time frame for this separation since he has been the one to decide he needs a break?

I realize that some times couples do need that break, and a marriage always still has a chance for a happy ending.

I just need some friendly advice, and some men/women feedback.

Feeling mixed emotions, and not sure what I should do....About 3.5 years ago I had a tubal reversal with hopes of conceiving a child with my husband. Only a month passed, and I ended up pregnant, which happened way too quickly, it ended in a horrible surgery, because of a tubal ( I lost my right tube), and was devastated. A few months later I had a hsg done to see if my one tube was clear, and it was. We then started on clomid, and had no luck conceiving. Almost 2 years later I was pregnant again, and very excited, but shocked at the same time, but that one also ended in a tubal after this my husband and I decided we would just do IVF, so I heard of a very reputable clinic through a friend, we started to save money and I was sending it to the clinic, and had plans to do it this past Sept, but things did not go accordingly so we postponed it, in the mean time I found out I was pregnant again this past March, once again it ended in another tubal. Due to finances we struggled with planning IVF, so we agreed that we would wait until I had started working again, well during the time I was looking for work my husband had a change of heart, and wanted to just travel and live our lives, at first it was really hard to accept, but as time passed I found it getting easier for me, but the whole baby idea was still in the back of my mind....So after the last tubal I struggled with taking another chance with ttc naturally or do I try convincing my husband to still go with IVF, well just recently my husband started to tell me he really wants children, but will not do IVF because we can't afford it, well now I am working, but he does not want to pay to do IVF, and has told me he wants to separate over this children issue...I am lost for words, and very crushed by it....I have already been feeling the pain and like I have failed my husband as a wife because of this.

I have many mixed feelings; do I just keep working on our marriage to save it, and see if he will have a change of heart?

I have thought about starting to just save up money on my own so we could make this possible.

All in all I just feel really cheated in some ways with this whole situation, and it's really bothering me. At one point we had it all planned and figured out, and now my marriage is somewhat on the ropes over children.

Anyone that may not have something generous to say please don't bother. This is not something easy to be going through or struggling with .

Thank you all ladies in advance for your advice and opinions.

Hello ladies...I am a little over 5 weeks pregnant and trying to hold myself together right now...Have had 2 previous tubal pregnancies, and one ended in surgery, lost baby n my right tube...Then last Sept I had to terminate the pregnancy because it was in my tube again, now here I am 8 months later and pregnant again, and praying that this one will stick! I had hcg checked on Monday and it was 1300, then done again on thurs, and it was 3600, dr. says it was not as high as he would have liked...Had an u/s also yesterday and did not see any sac in my uterus, hoping maybe it's too early or im just a little behind schedule...Since I am not having any severe pain or bleeding were going to do another level check this monday.

Any ladies that have been through this and can share good outcomes? Feeling lot's of mixed emotions right now and definitely unsure of where I stand right now with this pregnancy....Really thought this was going to finally be an end to my long journey of ttc, since levels were much higher this time...Last pregnancy the highest was 497 at 6 weeks.

Hope some ladies have some good news or positive insight to give!

For those of you that went through IVF, where did you purchase your meds at for a reasonable price?

I will be doing in ivf, and want to start calling around for my meds.

Thank you to all of those who were able to help.

Hello ladies,

So yesterday I had an u/s done to see if we could see a sac, and there was no sac..According to my dr. I am 6 weeks going by my lmp, which was Aug. 18th..I have done 2 hcg levels thus far, and they have not climbed like the dr. has wanted. I did a third one yesterday, so waiting to hear from the dr. today....The 1st one I did came back at 355, and the other one was 497.

He said I had no fluid around my uterus so that rules out an ectopic, but if it should happen that I end up with one he discussed a shot that he could give me so I would not have any surgery done, but right now I will not accept the shot until I know what exactly is going on.., So because we did not see a sac and levels are not climbing he thinks its going to be a mc, but if I have no sac then what will my body pass, just blood? I have no cramping, no spotting, and no bleeding at this point, just really sore boobs....Im really beginning to think that I ovulated late, and im just not as far along as the dr. is calculating...Also thinking I should get a second opinion.

And in the beginning when I missed my period I was having headaches, but did not last long, and my back would cramp Alot, would have to eat or else I would feel nauseated.

For those that have went through this what was your outcome?

Hello ladies..Just wondering if anyone has had low readings at their 6th week and went on to have successful pregnancy?

What were your levels at 6 weeks for those of you that were monitored?

I am 6 weeks tomorrow, and mine is very low, and my dr. thinks that I am experiencing another ectopic pregnancy..This is so devastating to have to go through another loss!

I know women are all different and levels can vary for various things, but my dr. wanted to see at least 2000 for me.

Thank you ladies for all your answers, and Congrats on your pregnancy.

Hello ladies...So back in 2009 I went through a painful loss and lost my tube, from that point on I started ttc again, and it was a long 2 yrs of trying...I was between 7 n 8 weeks pregnant when I discovered a painful ectopic and was in alot of pain..With this ectopic I had no symptoms letting me know I was pregnant....this time around I missed my period, had headaches, cramping off/on, sore/tender breast, n really moody..Last week I went in for blood work, I was 4 weeks n 6 days and my HCG was 300, n progesterone was 8..My dr. has scared me with the fact that a women can have symptoms of pregnancy, but still end up with another ectopic..

Ladies have any of you experienced this, but had a very happy ending?

Did your hcg levels start off low, but rise in the weeks ahead?

Also at any point did you feel like you would have another painful experience but turned out good in the end?

I know I can't over analyze, and need to be positive, even though its hard...I feel good, but my dr. did not help me with my spirits at all.

Thank you ladies...Praying for a health baby and pregnancy!