Jonah

So there is this girl that I've been starring at for a long time. I don't know what it is but she is so attractive and I really want a chance to impress her. Went up to her an asked her I she wanted to go to the movies. She agreed and so we went to the movies. I wasn't sure how to make the first move so during the movie I left to get pop corn and once I bought it I went in the bathroom and cut a small hole in the bottom. I walked back and sat next to her and got my pecker in the hole without her noticing. I set it on my lap as she proceeded to eat from it. Once she got to the bottom and felt my pecker she started crying and ran out of the theater screaming and then drove off. She drove me there so I didn't have a ride to go home. What did I do wrong?!? :(

So ill be honest I'm socially awkward and don't have many friends. There is this girl that is really cute named Veronica. I don't think she really noticed me before yesterday in class. So I've tried to get her to think I'm cute for about 6 years now. Yesterday I finally got fed up and decided to do something where shell like me. So in class I asked my teacher to go to the bathroom and when I was in the halls I went into the janitors closet and found some red spray paint. I put it in my pants and walked back into the classroom. Once the bell rang I walked up to Veronica and spayed her hair with it cause she said she wanted to be a Ginger. Now he doesn't talk to me at all and I got kicked out of that school. Someone help :(

Sometimes at night when my grandma is asleep, I strip naked and rub vasaline literally everywhere on my body and slither around our kitchen floors pretending to be a slug. I've been doing this for a couple years now on the regular. My grandma has alzheimers so she never remembers why there is Vaseline on the floor and just cleans it up anyways. Does anyone else do this? I would hate to be the only one..

This has been a problem since middle school. I get so nervous and anxious that my light stomach always tosses it up. So recently I carry around a little rat that I found in my moms bathroom and whenever a girl tries to come up to me, I let him go to save the embarrassment. It works so far but I need help.

I still would like to be able to drink the rest of it so any ideas to how I can save the rest would be greatly appreciated.

Serious answers please.

really want to know for summer.haha