Stacey

Like a 20g hoop that I can actually bend open and close easily??

I'm actually in the process of bleaching my hair as we speak :P! But I was thinking of doing pastel pink for valentines day? Or really for the whole month of February. But I need some opinions on whether you think it would look good on me or with my skin tone. And if not, pastel pink, then what color? Only answer with unnatural crazy colors! Not blonde, brown, ginger, black, ect! My favorite colors are blue, purple, and pink c: so if you can come up with combinations, that's welcome too! Thank you :D!

Here's a whole album of selfies since I couldn't decide which picture would be best:

http://s1244.beta.photobucket.com/user/ilovestaybe...

I promise I'm not being vain! I just used that to transfer pictures and thought it would be useful on this occasion... Thank you c:

This goes a little deeper than what most people write about just feeling ugly so please don't be too critical of me.

Well like most people, I have a low self esteem. But it got worse after about a year ago I found out that the guy I had been dating for 2 years was cheating on me with a 13 year old. (we were both 18 and he was about to turn 19.) I know, disgusting right? Well anyway the girl was as tall as me but was as skinny as a freaking spaghetti noodle like she was 100 pounds at 5'8 and she seemed a lot more popular and idk had a better, more fun personality than mine. I don't really care about the whole popular part besides the fact that it means that I don't put myself out there much so I don't know as many people. Anyway, that really got rid of any positive image of myself that I may have had before. I've been on and off anorexic and bulimic since then. I think it's related to me being bipolar as well as my terrible self esteem. Like in my highs I will be obsessed with dieting and try to starve myself while exercising and if I cave in and eat way too much I try to throw at least half of it back up. It lasts for several weeks usually. And then all the sudden I get unmotivated, and just want to stay home and sleep all day. I haven't actually been to a psychiatrist to be diagnosed with it. But it's pretty obvious. Especially since my dad is also bipolar. Anyway, I also have a bad habit of cutting when I get extremely upset. I need to know how to get better. How to cope with things. How to improve my image of myself. I can't think of anything but shut my emotions off. And when I do that, it's like I'm not the same person anymore. And I don't want to get like that. I will go to a counselor for help if anyone really thinks that will help. I do not want to be put on any kind of medication, so do not recommend that. That will not help me. I don't want to try to cure my problems with chemicals even if I do have a chemical imbalance, because a lot of times it just makes things worse. I don't want to have to depend on a drug to fix me when I know it won't. And I'm sorry if you can't understand the anorexia, bulimia, or cutting. The only way you would ever be able to understand it is if you struggled with those problems yourself, so I won't even go into explaining why I do the things I do and why I feel like it would make things better. But if anyone could be kind enough to not judge me and would just genuinely want to help me, that would be great and I thank you. I'm really desperate. I don't want to kill myself or anything. I just want to learn how to love myself.

I started this back this past summer and it's been sort of an on and off thing. I've always had anorexic tendencies but this past summer just pushed me to feel even more guilty about eating because my ex boyfriend who I had been with for about 2 years cheated on me with a girl that's the same height as me (5'8) but she looks like she weighs like 90 pounds. I've always wanted to be a skinny stick and it's just not my body type I guess. But I felt so insecure before and that just pushed me off the edge. I weigh about 130 and I know most of it is muscle, but I just want to get rid of all of the extra fat that I have. I have a stupid stomach pooch thing (always have had it, I guess you can call it a baby pudge) But I just want it gone. I've been obsessing on exercising too. But this is the thing: every time I want to lose the fat, I can't just work out. I get extremely obsessive with it and work myself to death to where I'm about to pass out and I have the eating disorder tendencies with it. I feel like I can't just exercise or have a healthy diet without obsessing over how much I eat and if I eat too much I feel guilty about it and purge. I do this on and off all the time, but every time I start this crap again it gets worse and more amplified. It's either exercise yourself to death and barely eat and if I binge I throw up or not watch what I eat and not exercise. I just can't figure out how to stop myself from obsessing over it when I get in my "I need to diet" mood. I'm finding this trying to stop binging and then throwing up thing very difficult now. Months ago, I could just say "wtf am I doing? This is stupid. I'm gonna go eat some ice cream and forget about this." Now I can't even eat a few slices of pizza without feeling like I should throw up or the world will end. I know you don't lose fat by throwing up. I know that. But for some reason I feel like I won't gain as many calories if I throw some of it up before it completely digests. And I have to do it or the thought will not go away and I will actually start burping and almost throw up just standing there. It's getting out of control. God I don't want to tell anyone about this because I don't want them to watch me and try to force me to eat or not let me exercise.... But I really do want to stop purging. I'm getting scared though because I've heard of people getting really bloated when they stop and looking prego or fat is definitely opposite of what I'm going for! Someone please just tell me what to do and please do not insult me... You shouldn't insult a person just because you don't understand what's happening on the inside of them. But thank you to anyone who takes the time to read this and help me out...

I keep asking questions about my ear lobes but they just don't seem like they are getting better. I stretched up to a 6g from an 8g like a week ago, but they started getting crusty and I couldn't take the plugs out without hurting them after a few days, so I've just been waiting till they weren't so crusty to take them out and I figured they wouldn't be so crusty anymore. Well, they're still crusty and it's really gross. I don't really know what it is. I thought maybe it was like a scab forming to heal the skin but it's starting to look yellowish like ear wax? I never had that problem before? If I pick it off it feels kind of wet? It's not like pus. I don't know if it's because water got trapped in my metal plugs or what and it's doing that? I ordered some glass ones just in case and maybe they'll be here by next week. But did anyone else have this problem and if you did, is it ok? I don't think they're infected or anything. My left earlobe has been infected before and it wasn't the same. They don't really hurt or anything. They're just forming crusty yellow stuff around the back. You know, it honestly feels like vitamin e oil. I had used some on my ears before like maybe 5 days ago and it got sticky and crusty and nasty like this. Ugh. Please someone help.

Something with suspense or even comedy?

I just stretched from an 8g to a 6g about 2 or 3 days ago and only waited about 4 weeks between stretches. My ears were fine getting the taper through but when I put my plugs in after, I think my ears ripped a little. They only bled a little and were sore for about an hour. I thought they were ok. Now they're crusty around the edges on the back. I've been putting vitamin e oil on them and soaking them with warm water on cotton balls and putting antibacterial soap around them. I thought they would be ok by now to take out and clean but I took out my left one which is my problem ear and it started bleeding? I haven't even tried taking out the other yet. I really don't want to downsize back to an 8 because I really like this size. But if I have to I will. I just want to know if it's ok to stay at this size and let it heal or not? And about how long should I wait till I stretch again?

I was at an 8g since December 1st I think. I just stretched tonight to a 6g. It was fairly easy getting the taper through. But getting the plug in killed me. Idk if it's because it was a little bit bigger than the taper or what. It really didn't look like it. But when I got them through on both sides there was a little blood. I think I tore them ugh... Now they're really sore. All of my previous stretches have been fine. Didn't hurt or anything. But were my ears just not ready for the stretch or what? Was it the plugs I used? I soaked my ears in warm water and I lubricated the taper and plugs so that has nothing to do with it. But will my ears be ok? They didn't bleed too much.... Just a little... At the back. I'm only planning to go to 2g so if anyone can help, that'd be great. I would love advice and tips.

I really can't decide between the two. But I know I'm going to do one of them. Maybe both together one day, But for now I want a solid color. This is me: http://s1244.beta.photobucket.com/user/ilovestaybe...

I know I'm going to have to bleach my hair about 2 times before it's light enough and I know it will be very fried, but I've been wanting to do this for a while and I want to be able to do it while I still can lol.

So pastel pink like Leda's?

http://25.media.tumblr.com/29705face7253f81d0adee7...

Or pastel purple like this?

http://24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_mdaiulIxE81r9xql...

Don't say natural colors. I have my whole life to have my hair those colors again.

yahoo i can't handle your technical problems

I just got it pierced last Monday and I was doing so good about no touching it and cleaning it a few times daily. But then Sunday morning I woke up and my stud was not in my nose. It was under my pillow, so I had to stick it through the scab that formed on the piercing. Which it didn't hurt too bad, but I'm scared of infection. I told myself not to do it again, trying to reach into my subconscious. And Guess what happened again this morning? It was under my pillow again and I had to poke it through the scab again! Two nights in a row. I mean I know I consciously hate myself, but I guess my subconscious really hates me. What can I possibly do to solve this issue? I don't want to let my piercing heal up so don't say that.

Earlier she took about 18 200mg of I think it was Benadryl actually. She was tripping but then she started having these spasms and I kept asking her if she was ok and she would say yea. But I guess she had a really bad head ache too because she would start holding her head in her hands. I thought that was just part of it because she had done this before. But then she fell back and started rolling her eyes back into her head and looking distorted and crippled. And then she started making these horrible noises like she was possessed and I started screaming her name and she wouldn't respond. She'd just keep making these weird grunting noise and started foaming out of her mouth and I tried slapping her a few times like I really just didn't know what to do. And she calmed down after a few minutes. And she's passed out but still breathing. It really scared me. What do I tell her? Because I don't want her doing that again. I really thought she was about to die and I didn't know whether to tell my mom or not because I was scared of the trouble we would be in. She's ok now. Earlier she said this was the safest thing you could take to trip, but obviously not.

It's probably really obvious how new I am to stretching, but is that normal? Do I just leave it like that? It won't stretch any further. I put in 14g because I couldn't find 16g. Soooo, help?

Ok well I'm naturally a red head. But right now my hair is dark brown. I've been wanting to do something different for a while, but never had the guts because I know my hair is going to be really unhealthy.

I want to know whether I should go to my natural color again or if I should do something crazy all over like pink or purple or blue or something.

I won't mess up. I've dyed several of my friends' hair all over like blue and pink and their hair looked gorgeous. I just want to know what color would look good with my skin and eyes. Skin is super pale with pink undertone. Eyes are light blue.

And don't lecture me please about how I should get it done professionally, because it's going to be professional. First, I am currently in cosmetology school. Second, I work in a salon. Also, don't tell me it will be weird and that I will be judged. I am fully aware of that.

picture:

http://i1244.photobucket.com/albums/gg576/ilovesta...

Me and my boyfriend have been dating since March 2010... The first year of our relationship was great. I couldn't ask for a better boyfriend. I thought we were eventually going to end up getting married and having kids. He even gave me a promise ring for my birthday. He promised to never lie, cheat, abuse me, or hurt me in any way. And he also promised that one day he would replace this ring with a better one that would engage us. We were each others first. He's always been a little controlling... and our fights would end up with him leaving me because he thought I didn't love him and then I'd always have to beg him back. I never really thought it was that bad. When we made up it would go back to how it usually was. But as soon as our 1 year anniversary came, he just seemed to be a little less sensitive and the breakups got worse. When school started back, I was a senior and he had just graduated. He started seeming a lot more negative and we saw each other less. He was still pretty controlling and always wondered if I was talking to other guys or cheating on him. And then in November I got my first job. He didn't have one. He wanted me to quit, but I didn't. And then my birthday came again. And its actually a little ironic. But this time he broke up with me and wanted to go on a break for about 2 months. So I was like whatever, he'll probably come back within 24 hours. But he didn't. He kept our relationship status the same on facebook, but we weren't even talking... I was miserable and couldn't understand it. But I had faith in him. So I waited for about a month, and then a friend of mine tells me he's been talking to another girl. Of course I go absolutely crazy and get him in trouble with his parents and he tells me that all he did was flirt and wouldn't talk to her again. And few days later and made up to me and pretty much told me that he wanted to start finishing in me to prove that if something like me getting pregnant did happen he wouldn't leave me, because he still loved me. So I was happy and thought everything was awesome and great again... For a few months. Until he started getting really distant and being mean to me in March this year. And I decided since I hadn't been to his house in a while, that I would come over and surprise him or something. He wasn't there and so I got on his computer, because I was bored. And what did I find? Conversations on skype with the girl that he had been talking to before. Turns out he started talking to her again back in maybe late January or February. Anyway I figured out that they had at least kissed a few times. And when I confronted him about it, I tried to leave and give back the ring, but he wouldn't let me, saying he still loved me and needed me. He even cried. He held me and told me he didn't want to lose me. He said it was really just a friend thing and that she liked him but he didn't like her. But I kept hearing rumors and was so mad and I couldn't trust him anymore, because he broke every promise he made. I started talking to another guy just to spite him at first. And also because I felt like **** and just wanted someone to tell me I wasn't. I was just friends with this guy for about two weeks, but then my boyfriend found out I was "flirting" with him and said I was cheating. And it's been Hell with him ever since. He would barely touch me. It took about a few weeks before he'd give me a hug. And then 2 months went by and he had only kissed me on the cheek a few times. He said to give him a month and he'd be over it. So I did and I thought that would mean he would love me again... But instead, it feels like he's over me. After I graduated, he came over and we had sex for the first time in months. And he told me he loved me. But then he started avoiding me. For about a week and I asked him why, and he just said he didn't like me like that anymore? But then he told me to just give him some time, so I said ok. And he would call me to see how I was doing and eventually we hung out again and he came over and we watched TV and then we had sex again? And he said give me time and I'll make time? So I thought ok... Maybe he does still want me... But then 2 more weeks pass. He talked to me and called me a million times when I didn't answer to tell me we could hang out today last weekend. And I thought that looked like a good sign... But he called me last night saying he was just going to drive over here instead of me picking him up. And I was so excited when I saw his car pull up to my house, until I saw his friend open the car door. And then I understood why he drove there. He didn't even ask me if he could come too. Just got like cockblocked and everything. Lol but ugh... I felt so friend zoned. He paid more attention to his friend than me. Even more to my dog than me! I mean wtf. And then when they were leaving I was giving him a hug

I've been on this particular brand of birth control pills I think since the beginning of the year. I don't really know if it's working or not... I take the pills every day but my period never lands on the placebo pills. It's always late or early and I can't time it at all unless it's that morning when I have cramps. But I think I may have missed a pill out of each pack. I'm not really sure if that would affect it, because it never got on schedule anyway.... I'm just a little freaked out right now I guess, because I've been nauseous for the past two mornings... I last had sex not this past Saturday, but the one before... And well we didn't use protection or anything and he came in me... I'm getting kind of scared. My breasts are never tender ever... And now they are... I just need some input on this. I don't know if I should ignore it or what... My boyfriend and I are not really doing all that great right now.... I don't need to be pregnant. I'm 18 by the way, so it's not like I am underage and going to get in bad trouble. But when exactly should I take a pregnancy test?

I bleached like a few pieces of my hair last year about 3 times. Well actually a hairdresser did. Maybe that's the problem. But after the third time it melted. I didn't even want it bleached the third time, just dyed over ugh... Because I had blue hair and school was coming up. Anyway I always hear about how many times scene kids will bleach and color their hair but their hair is still there and not melted... I mean yea a little fried hahaha but their hair isn't like falling out. I mean maybe it's because I went from dyed dark brown hair and because the lady left the bleach on way too long? I don't know. I just want to know what's keeping their hair from melting every time and what I should do next time I want to bleach it. Also for some reason whenever I bleach my friends' hair a million times it's still so healthy... Maybe I should bleach it myself? Just give me some tips or explain why my hair is melted after bleached 3 times.

Well I guess about a week and a half ago they started going on a break? They still talk as friends and they still love each other.... Or at least she does and he says he does... Well the situation is really complicated. But anyway I overheard some people talking earlier at school. They are friends with my friend's ex's bestfriend who is a girl. They mentioned her name and his name in the same sentence. I didn't exactly hear every word they said but it made me suspicious. I looked on their facebooks and since my friend and her ex's break thing or whatever it is, his bestfriend and him have been talking like a lottt. And having "deep talks" and she will post little <3s in her comments every now and then. And earlier when the people were talking and I overheard they had said she said "I love you" out of "habit" to him. I don't know if I should tell her about the suspicion or not? I don't want to make her any more worried than she already is about the situation... But I'm scared if I don't tell her and my suspicion is right then I would feel bad if I didn't tell her like I could have helped her prevent something. Should I tell her or not? Give me an explanation why please...

I'm asking this because I'm starting to have a hard time finding good new music now days. Everyone keeps changing their style and it's really getting on my nerves. I just want to listen to something that sounds good. Don't give me the names of old albums. They need to be 2010 to 2011 and they need to be good. If you can find me something that sounds amazing and will give my ears an orgasm I thank you.