Chuck Norris™

If I knocked up a girl and she left a message on my phone saying so, how would I go about skipping town? I don't have the time to raise a kid I just got my prestige rank on Black Ops should I tell her Im leaving or should I just leave.

Thanks in advance.

This girl was talking about it on youtube and I don't know if she was serious or not? Can anyone help me?

My chuwawa usually sleeps in the garage so I let him in there a few minutes ago forgetting that I put a few mousetraps there. The dog is relatively young and has testicles the size of tennis balls. I mean they are bigger than his head. Apparently he was dragging those monsters near a trap and it snapped shut. He's really angry right now and won't let me help him take it off. He already bit me hard and I'm bleeding pretty bad. I tried shooting him with a horse tranquilizer gun but I missed and blew out one of my car tires so I can't drive to the vet or anything.My plan right now is to have my 4 year old distract it from the front while I sneak up and hit him with a tire iron. Does anyone have a better idea?

How to get penis out of printer?

Thanks in advance.

How to get penis out of printer?

Thanks in advance.

Justin Bieber or Rebecca Black. And why?

Where?

This video explains it all.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=oHg5SJYRH%E2%80%A6

It's George Bush being a Good American!!

I couldn't believe my eyes when I saw this.

George Bush is a good american!!

Kung Pao Chicken or Spicy Curry

"Throughout the course of one's life, multitudinous events occur that require comprehensive decisions which have impact on one's life. Many varying selections could change your life for the better or for the worse. One seemingly harmless even might take a great toll on life."

I want to go into an example such as breaking my leg for the composition but I have writers block and can't think of anything. I need to say consistent to the topic for the whole essay for a good grade.

So many conspiracy theories... I don't know which ones to believe in.

at the people who thought December 21, 2012 was the end of the world.

I would keep it. Sorry just being truthful

Name some

Here are mine:

I can pass this guy.

My brakes are fine.

Nice doggy.

I think it's trying to communicate...

"Homicidal Tendencies"?

Hey, you're Eminem, aren't you?

"Na, I don't think we need to go to the hospital."

"It's a dud! It's a dud! It's a du...".

"Don't touch the red button!"

Gee, that's a cute tattoo.

It's fireproof.

What does this button do?

So, you're a cannibal.

Are you sure the power is off?

Pull the pin and count to what?

Noo these windows are ok to lean on.

Don’t worry it has airbags.

Hey what’s that buzzing noise?

Don’t worry its not that deep.

One time at band camp.

No, he doesn’t bite?.

Hey look a light at the end of the tunnel.

Feel Free to STAR =D

If you know what I mean.

What is your response to this video? I converted to Islam after watching this.

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=hkbv37ztOoU

I can pass this guy.

My brakes are fine.

Nice doggy.

I think it's trying to communicate...

"Homicidal Tendencies"?

Hey, you're Eminem, aren't you?

"Na, I don't think we need to go to the hospital."

"It's a dud! It's a dud! It's a du...".

"Don't touch the red button!"

Gee, that's a cute tattoo.

It's fireproof.

What does this button do?

So, you're a cannibal.

Are you sure the power is off?

Pull the pin and count to what?

Noo these windows are ok to lean on.

Don’t worry it has airbags.

Hey what’s that buzzing noise?

Don’t worry its not that deep.

One time at band camp.

No, he doesn’t bite?.

Hey look a light at the end of the tunnel.

Feel Free to STAR =D

Our love is not just strong feelings we share:

It is also happiness and sadness,

Which is brought by the loneliness I can't bear.

It sometimes brings anger ( I must confess).

I just feel there is nothing to do to help.

When I am so far away, who will be

There to ease your pain? I will be your help

Whenever I can. You are there for me

To show your love and care, which brings upon

Such happiness. Your kindness, honor, and trust

Show that love is there. The smile I see on

Your face makes me high. This is why I must

Share that wonderful feeling more with you

Just to prove that my love is oh, so true.

There is an exercise called "Ball Slaps"? WTH?

... What flavor would you be?

Don't you just love random questions?? Feel free to star! :D

I dared my friend to stick his hand in an ant pile for 10 seconds for $7. Would you do it?

Star if you would.