Todd

Hello,

My son is 10 years old and for the last year ( or so) we have been having problems with him not doing what he needs to do...of course we are standing over him. Brushing his teeth, homework, listening at home and school...etc.

Last night I got in his face and yelled as loud as I could (I am the dad btw)....I figured I would put the fear in him. The next night I got home he had done what he needed to do, I was very happy.....

BUT...my wife just called me and said he had a call from school that he is not listening in class....he is being lazy and playing in class. When he gets something wrong he will not fix it and the teacher has to erase everything for him to do over again. Also it seemed while I was at work he had a big listening problem with MOM. So back to square one!!!

About a week ago I wrote some rules down for him and I make him write them down every night......still does not help, he still does not follow the rules.

A little background on us to understand....me, the dad was brought up in a strict home...I did what I needed to do out of fear........I do not want that for my son, but I do not know what else to do. I tried doing the talk with him telling him how important things are and why we need to do them, we have taken everything away from him, we have put him in time out......I am out of options and lately I just want to beat his ***!!! I know that is a little strong but I have only spanked my son maybe 2-3 time in his life and it was a little spanking....he looked at me like..is that all you got???

I do not want him to do things out of fear because I know how that feels and it stays with you forever!!!

Do I just take everything away from him, not let him play, not let him do nothing at all??? I need to do something that will teach him....and know I am doing the right thing.

He is a very smart child but eating and playing are at the top of his list..NO MATTER HOW MAD MOM AND DAD GET.

I am feeling that I am doing something wrong....what is it??? I have always tried to bring him up right, teaching him from right and wrong, having manners and teaching him to use his head.

Am I trying to much for a 10 year old??

Mom was brought up a little different and not so strict.....she will even make a different dinner for him because he said HE DOES NOT LIKE IT...me ...I was told when I grew up you eat what has been put on the table or you don´t eat at all!!

I just do not know what to do anymore and I do not want to have to ´´Beat his ***´´ if you know what I mean.

PLEASE HELP...PLEASE!!!

Thank you

Hi,

My wife and I actually met on the internet by accident 13 years ago.....we spoke online for about 6 months, she was in Brazil and I was in the USA. After six months she came to the US and we actually get married just 2 months after she arrived...yes I know very quick!!! We have two great children 10 and 3 now...13 years later.

Anyways just about a year ago we decided we will move to Brazil, since she has been away from her Family for so long...and it was only right that I give it a try...she did right???

Well I am not adapting to this country very well and have been very withdrawn over the last 6 months or so. Lately all I can think about is that I am so sick of being married....we really do not have a lot in common as far as hobbies or anything, we seem to disagree on so much and we seem to have a huge communication problem as far as......"no you said this", "no I said that"...I really can not stand it. It is really important to me to have things in common that we like to do.....other then go to the beach...who does not like that. It seems we only have our children in common!

We almost got divorced about 3 days ago (my decision...she did not want to)...it was pretty much decided!!!...BUT......it was really weird.....from the point of the decision to get divorced I could not stop thinking about her in a sexual way.........I was so sexually attracted to her "While we were getting a Divorce"....kinda like it was way way back when we first got together. Very strange!

After a few days passed and I decided for my Family and myself that I just did not want to be the kind of man the divorced his wife and left his children.....I could not live with it.

Now this decision was "mostly" due because of my children, I am afraid that my feelings of being "Tired of Marriage" will just grow and grow...and eventually we will get divorced.

What to do?