Grace

I don't want any "this is selfish" or "don't do it" responses. Some people were not meant to live and I'm one of those people. I don't care on how painful an overdose is but if someone could please just tell me how many pills it would take to overdose on and successfully commit suicide it'd be greatly appreciated. I'm 100% certain about this and I've given it a lot of thought, I'm not asking for attention, I just want someone to simply answer my question. Thanks

Two days ago I went out with some friends to a bar and long story short we brought a couple of guys home, one which I had got along with quite well at the pub. I was very very drunk but even still I had no intentions on going as far as having sex with him. He slept in my bed because all of the couches were taken and we played around for a bit but then he starts taking off my under wear and I said no but he just does it anyway and next thing i know we're having sex. I am just completely confused about the whole situation and I feel like a whore. I don't think i would call this rape at all because I guess I did lead him on in a way but I just keep getting flash backs and just want to forget everything. The worst part is that he didn't even use a condom so I fear that it could lead to pregnancy. I guess i'm just wanting someone to clear the air for me about what I should be thinking but all I have felt since it happened is disgusting and trashy.

Before saying anything more, I just want to say I am not asking for attention, well I mean I'm wanting someone to at least answer this "question" which does involve attention but i guess what I'm saying is I don't want any pity or at least help advice like " go see a doctor" or "talk to someone". So I just really really want to die and it's on my mind most of the time but the only thing is I can't kill myself, like I do bad things like drink excessively and smoke and even pathetic things like not wear a seatbelt just to increase my chances of dying. I'm slowly throwing everything away, I quit nursing school because I simply couldn't be fucked studying. I'm lazy and unmotivated and a waste of space so I guess what I'm trying to find out here, or at least wanting someone to confirm to me, that it is okay to commit suicide? Because why does everyone say "you can be helped" and never consider that maybe is actually the best answer, and it could bring more good than bad? Does anyone else feel like this too?

I don't even know why I'm writing this or if anyone will answer my "question" because I don't even know if I want help. Honestly I have just hit the bottom, I'm quitting my nursing course tomorrow and even if you tell me not to I've already set myself up to fail the exams. I don't even know what happened, I just lost all motivation to try. It's 12.38pm and I'm in bed. I have asked for time off work for 8 days so I can just sleep. And some will tell me to get help, see a doctor while others will tell me to stop getting attention. But honestly I don't want help, I don't want to get better nor do I have the motivation to even try to. And maybe I am writing on here to get attention but maybe that's because I'm too afraid to ask my friends/family here for it. I've previously dealt with depression 2 separate times when I was 15 and 17 but could never stick to the medication. And even then I question if I ever had depression, the doctor just handed me pills because I ticked all the boxes for the "signs of depression", the counsellor at the hospital said I wasn't bad enough to see them and the counsellor at school got me to do childish things like draw pictures of how I was feeling and fill out activities with stress methods but whatever her intentions were I was never sure. I'm now 18 and I just feel like there is no real future and I don't even know what I've written but maybe someone out there can decipher what I've said & it some reasoning or see that my life has meaning.. Or not

I don't even know what I'm asking buy basically I'm a little confused with what I'm doing and if what I'm doing is helping my future in any way or not. I'm an 18 year old girl studying nursing at university and tomorrow I have my first exam which I literally have not studied for. I don't know whether it's because I'm lazy or I just have no passion to be a nurse but either way I am not at all worried because I just don't care. I don't even know if I wanted to be a nurse, I kinda just went along with it because everyone told me I would be a good one and it was a good career to have. And yes I did enjoy the practical side of working with patients in clinical practice but I just feel like there's something else for me. I tried talking to my mum but she is appalled about me even considering dropping out especially when I am only 18 and have not much work experience behind me to take me anywhere. I just feel like if I wanted to be studying nursing I would actually be studying but all I'm doing is just wasting this opportunity. And yes this is really all my fault but I just seem to get out of this rut that I'm in because basically everyone seems to say that if I quit then I'll go no where. I guess I'm just wanting some advice on what to do, on your opinions and personal experience. Any help would seriously be appreciated :)

There's a guy that catches my train every morning as well as the afternoon. The other day when i got of on the way home he told me he'd like to take me out for a drink that afternoon but I declined because of the age difference (I heard his friend ask how his 30th birthday went one time so i knew his age). I sort of wish I had at least gone with him because I guess there's something about a man in a suit. Though he doesn't know my age so perhaps if I did end up going and he realised my age he might react differently? I dunno, what would you guys think about a 18 year old going out with a 30 year old?

I've always had trouble with eating healthy and though i am not overweight and exercise regularly, I still am never able to eat food that is healthy. I think weight watchers would be good to not only ensure my body is getting good nutrients but to make me feel better about myself. I am always self conscious about my body and i think this would be a healthy way to get good eating habits. I am wondering if anyone else has tried this program and if you would recommend i try it. I would only try it for a couple of months so that eventually i'd be able to know the right foods to eat without counting the points after a bit of time. I currently weight 60kg and am 159cm tall, just for additional info i suppose.

Any help/advice appreciated :)

All i can remember from the video clip is this black girl and the whole time it is just a close up view of her face and she's just singing, i remember her lips looked real dry if that helps haha. The song came out this year. ??

All i can remember from the video clip is this black girl and the whole time it is just a close up view of her face and she's just singing, i remember her lips looked real dry if that helps haha. The song came out this year. ??

For school we have been each given a quote to interpret. The quote i was given was "As you lock to have my pardon, trim it handsomely". I have to explain how this relates to colonisation. Is anyone able to relate this quote to colonisation because I am completely stuck!

For school we have been each given a quote to interpret. The quote i was given was "As you lock to have my pardon, trim it handsomely". I have to explain how this relates to colonisation. Is anyone able to relate this quote to colonisation because I am completely stuck!

So i have a presentation that I have had to have done for tomorrow for one of my subjects and I haven't done it at all. I am just so sick of school and just can't do it. Should I just take the day of tomorrow and do it or stay up all night and complete it? I have no motivation what so ever. Lazy is practically my middle name at the moment.

I am donating blood next Wednesday (in 6 days) and I've just caught a sore throat. Should I make another appointment or do you think it will have enough time to clear until then?

I have about 1.5 litres of it everyday...

Okay so I am near the end of installing the Sims 3 and suddenly it says "set up could not find a file on the specified path or disk. Please check that the proper disk is inserted or specify a new path". So I have no idea what that means, except that it is the right disc. If someone could tell me what to do, very simply, I would really appreciate it! :)

I don't know how to explain this, mainly because everyone I have explained it to had no idea what I was talking about. When I'm in the car, and when the sun comes in quick flashes like through trees for example, I always pass/black out for a quick second. I have no idea why, but if you have any clues then that'd help lots :)

so last night i started feeling like everything was a dream, like i wasn't really with reality. Today I woke up feeling the same way and for the entire day I just couldn't concentrate, i was forgetting everything and my mind just wasn't with it. I feel as though there is fog in my head, I just can't explain it. It is freaking me out and I just want this 'feeling' to go away before I go insane. I know this may sound confusing or crazy but I just need any piece of advice. If it is related, I have suffered from depression a couple years ago.