txsaxman91

The punchline is.... no thanks, I think 11 is enough to get the taste out of my mouth.

First person with the complete joke (including punchline) gets 10 points!

I love this joke....

Since so many people were going to heaven God told St. Peter he could only allow 1/3 of the people who died into heaven. Three people appeared almost simultaniously, so St. Peter said great I'll just listen to all three of your stories, decide which is the most solemn and let that person go to heaven. The first guy says, "I live on the 20th floor of an apartment building and I heard my wife was cheating on me so I came home early today. My wife was in the shower so I started looking everywhere for the man, but couldn't find him. I went out on the balcony to consider my life when I saw the son of a ***** hanging on to the edge so I jumped on his hand, but he didn't fall so I got a hammer and crushed them, but as he fell he landed in some bushes so I took my refridgerator and pushed it off the edge. I felt so bad afterwards a killed myself." The second man said, "Well I had just settled down in my new apartment on the 27th floor when I stumbled and my new book went flying over the

Since so many people were going to heaven God told St. Peter he could only allow 1/3 of the people who died into heaven. Three people appeared almost simultaniously, so St. Peter said great I'll just listen to all three of your stories, decide which is the most solemn and let that person go to heaven. The first guy says, "I live on the 20th floor of an apartment building and I heard my wife was cheating on me so I came home early today. My wife was in the shower so I started looking everywhere for the man, but couldn't find him. I went out on the balcony to consider my life when I saw the son of a ***** hanging on to the edge so I jumped on his hand, but he didn't fall so I got a hammer and crushed them, but as he fell he landed in some bushes so I took my refridgerator and pushed it off the edge. I felt so bad afterwards a killed myself." The second man said, "Well I had just settled down in my new apartment on the 27th floor when I stumbled and my new book went flying over the balcon

Not really a good use of 5 points, but anyways if anyone needs Weffriddles help post your link and ask whether you want a spoiler or a clue. I've done up to level 33 so sorry to those real brilliant people at level 50 and up, but go ahead and barage me with questions.

3 men want to buy a room in a hotel for the night. The bellboy tells them it'll be $10 each so they pay him. The cashier tells the bellboy that the room only costed $25 and the bellboy needed to refund the men $5. The bellboy knew that dividing $5 among 3 people wouldn't work so he pocketed $2 for himself and gave each of the men $1 back each.

The men payed $9 each for their room after the rebate and the bellboy pocketed $2.

9+9+9+2=29

Where'd the other $1 go?

I will give an explaination so try your hardest.

Lower your thought level trust me....

(BTW, chain riddles)

How do you stick an elephant in a refridgerator?

How do you stick a giraffe in a refridgerator?

The Lion King holds an animal council for all the animals in the land, which animal doesn't come?

How do you cross a river full of crocodiles?

If you get all of these and haven't heard this riddle string you are the stupidest smart person ever and I congratulate you

My maker doesn't want me

My buyer doesn't use me

My user doesn't see me

What am I?

This one has been driving me mad all day, "Part of a woman’s anatomy, 7 letters beginning with V and ending with A."

I had it on the tip of my tongue last night!

http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=F-WulsU4a1c

Sorry there's no volume but the place was going crazy after this play

A guy walks into a bar on the 20th floor of a building and a stranger sitting next to him says, "You're new around right? I bet you 100 dollars I can jump out of that window and survive."

The man thinks, "Hey this is easy money i'll do it." So the stranger jumps out and a couple of seconds later he's back on the window sill. The new guy asks, "How the hell did you just do that?!"

The stranger says, "Ok, since you're new I'll tell you a secret. Below the window is a very strong fan that can send you back up. How about I pay you your 100 dollars back if you jump off." The new guy decided he wanted his 100 dollars back and trusted this guy so he jumped off and fell all 20 floors and died on contact with the concrete.

The stranger took his seat back at the bar and the bartender said, "Superman you can be such an a$s when you're drunk."

and the bartender says, "hey i bet you 100 dollars you can't make that horse in the back laugh."

So the man goes into the back and comes out a couple seconds later and the horse is bawling with laughter. The bartender asks the man how he did it but the man says, "It's a secret."

The man comes back the next day and the bartender says, "hey if you can make that some horse cry i'll give you 1000 dollars." So the man goes into the back and comes out a couple seconds later and the horse is crying profusely. The bartender asks, "How did you do that?"

The man replies, "First I told him I had a bigger dick than him and the second time I proved it."