Hobby

Adam was hanging around the Garden of Eden feeling very lonely.

So, God asked him, 'What's wrong with you?'

Adam said he didn't have anyone to talk to.

God said that He was going to make Adam a companion

and that it would be a woman.

He said, 'This pretty lady will gather food for you, she will cook for you, and when you discover clothing, she will wash them for you.

She will always agree with every decision you make and she will not nag you, and will always be the first to admit she was wrong when you've had a disagreement.

She will praise you!

She will bear your children and never ask you to get up in the middle of the night to take care of them.

'She will NEVER have a headache and will freely give you love and passion whenever you need it.'

Adam asked God, 'What will a woman like this cost?'

'An arm and a leg.'

Then Adam asked, 'What can I get for a rib?’

Of course, the rest is history............!!!!

A priest, in urgent need to use the bathroom, walks into a local bar. The bar is jumping with loud music and lively conversation, but every few minutes the lights abruptly go off. Every time the lights go off, the bar crowd bursts into loud whoops and applause, but when they see the priest enter the bar, the place becomes absolutely quiet.

The priest walks over to the bartender and asks, "Can you please tell me where your bathroom is?"

"Sure, but I have to tell you, father, there's a statue of a naked woman in it and she is wearing only a fig leaf."

"No problem, I'll just avert my eyes, then," said the priest.

The bartender then shows the priest to the far side of the bar where the bathroom is located. After a short while, the priest comes out of the bathroom and the bar crowd pauses only long enough to give him a rousing cheer. Perplexed he goes over to the bartender and asks, "I'm puzzled. Why did they cheer for me as I came out of the bathroom just now?"

"Well, father, it's because your curiosity has made you human and likeable, just like us," said the bartender. "May I pour you a drink?"

"No thanks, but, I'm still puzzled," said the priest.

"You see, father," chuckles the bartender, "every time somebody moves the fig leaf on the naked woman statue, the bar lights go off. Now, what do you say to that drink?"

A young woman went to her mother and told her about her life and how things were so hard for her. She did not know how she was going to make it and wanted to give up. She was tired of fighting and struggling. It seemed as one problem was solved, a new one arose.

Her mother took her to the kitchen. She filled three pots with water and placed each on a high fire. Soon the pots came to boil. In the first she placed carrots, in the second she placed eggs, and in the last she placed ground coffee beans. She let them sit and boil; without saying a word.

In about twenty minutes she turned off the burners. She fished the carrots out and placed them in a bowl. She pulled the eggs out and placed them in a bowl.

Then she ladled the coffee out and placed it in a bowl. Turning to her daughter, she asked, "Tell me what you see."

"Carrots, eggs, and coffee," she replied.

Her mother brought her closer and asked her to feel the carrots. She did and noted that they were soft. The mother then asked the daughter to take an egg and break it. After pulling off the shell, she observed the hard-boiled egg.

Finally, the mother asked the daughter to sip the coffee. The daughter smiled, as she tasted its rich aroma the daughter then asked, "What does it mean, mother?"

Her mother explained that each of these objects had faced the same adversity: boiling water. Each reacted differently. The carrot went in strong, hard, and unrelenting. However, after being subjected to the boiling water, it softened and became weak. The egg had been fragile. Its thin outer shell had protected its liquid interior, but after sitting through the boiling water, its insides became hardened. The ground coffee beans were unique, however. After they were in the boiling water, they had changed the water.

"Which are you?" she asked her daughter. "When adversity knocks on your door, how do you respond? Are you a carrot, an egg, or a coffee bean?

Think of this: Which am I? Am I the carrot that seems strong, but with pain and adversity do I wilt and become soft and lose my strength?

Am I the egg that starts with a malleable heart, but changes with the heat? Did I have a fluid spirit, but after a death, a breakup, a financial hardship or some other trial, have I become hardened and stiff? Does my shell look the same, but on the inside am I bitter and tough with a stiff spirit and hardened heart?

Or am I like the coffee bean? The bean actually changes the hot water, the very circumstance that brings the pain. When the water gets hot, it releases the fragrance and flavor. If you are like the bean, when things are at their worst, you get better and change the situation around you. When the hour is the darkest and trials are their greatest, do you elevate yourself to another level? How do you handle adversity? Are you a carrot, an egg or a coffee bean?

Life with a Positive Attitude:

Heavy rains remind us of challenges in life. Never ask for a lighter rain. Just pray for a better umbrella. That is attitude.

When flood comes, fish eat ants & when flood recedes, ants eat fish.Only time matters. Just hold on, God gives opportunity to everyone!

Life is not about finding the right person, but creating the right relationship, it's not how we care in the beginning, but how much we care till ending.

Some people always throw stones in your path. It depends on you what you make with them, Wall or Bridge? Remember you are the architect of your life.

Every problem has (n+1) solutions, where n is the number of solutions that you have tried and 1 is that you have not tried. That's life.

Its not important to hold all the good cards in life. But its important how well you play with the cards which you hold.

Often when we lose all hope & think this is the end, God smiles from above and says, `Relax dear its just a bend. Not the end'. Have Faith and have a successful life.

When you feel sad, to cheer up just go to the mirror and say, `Damn I am really so cute` and you will overcome your sadness. But don't make this a habit coz liars go to hell.

One of the basic differences between God and human is, God gives, gives and forgives. But human gets, gets, gets and forgets. Be thankful in life!

Only two types of persons are happy in this world. 1st is Mad and 2nd is Child. Be Mad to achieve what you desire and be a Child to enjoy what you have achieved.

Questions under 'All Categories' and under 'Trivia', etc., are mostly spams littered with call girls (?) or Escort Service phone numbers. Why can't Yahoo take active step to curb this?

An old lady tells Jagath Guru Jaggi Vasudev: "Guruji, when I receive dole from my grown up kids I feel as if I am a beggar. What do you say about this, Guruji?" Vasudev replies: "Madam, you are suffering from superiority complex. It is your sheer ego that makes you feel so. When your kids were fed by you and supported byyou, were you giving them alms? They were not beggars. You did your motherly duty of feeding your kids. When it is their turn now to take care of you and support you during your old age, why do you feel embarrassed or belittled?"

What do you see nurses? .. . . .. . What do you see?

What are you thinking . .. . . . when you're looking at me?

A crabby old man . . . . .. not very wise,

Uncertain of habit . . . . . with faraway eyes?

Who dribbles his food . .. . . . and makes no reply.

When you say in a loud voice . . . .. . 'I do wish you'd try!'

Who seems not to notice .. .. . . . the things that you do.

And forever is losing . . . . . A sock or shoe?

Who, resisting or not . .. . . . lets you do as you will,

With bathing and feeding .. . . . . The long day to fill?

Is that what you're thinking? . . .. . . Is that what you see?

Then open your eyes, nurse . . . . . you're not looking at me.

I'll tell you who I am. .. . . . . As I sit here so still,

As I do at your bidding, .. . . . . as I eat at your will.

I'm a small child of Ten .. .. .. . .. with a father and mother,

Brothers and sisters . . . . . who love one another.

A young boy of Sixteen . .. . . with wings on his feet.

Dreaming that soon now . .. . . . a lover he'll meet.

A groom soon at Twenty . .. . . . my heart gives a leap.

Remembering, the vows . . . . . that I promised to keep.

At Twenty-Five, now . .. .. . . I have young of my own.

Who need me to guide . . .. . . And a secure happy home.

A man of Thirty . . .. . .. My young now grown fast,

Bound to each other . . . .. . With ties that should last.

At Forty, my young sons .. . . . . have grown and are gone,

But my woman's beside me .. . . .. ... to see I don't mourn.

At Fifty, once more, babies play 'round my knee,

Again, we know children .. . . . . My loved one and me.

Dark days are upon me . .. . . . my wife is now dead.

I look at the future . . .. . . shudder with dread.

For my young are all rearing .. . . .. . young of their own.

And I think of the years . . . . . and the love that I've known

I'm now an old man . . . .. . and nature is cruel.

Tis jest to make old age .. . . . . look like a fool.

The body, it crumbles . .. . . . grace and vigor, depart.

There is now a stone . . .. . where I once had a heart.

But inside this old carcass . . . .. .. a young guy still dwells,

And now and again . . . .. . my battered heart swells.

I remember the joys . . .. . . I remember the pain.

And I'm loving and living . . . . . life over again.

I think of the years, all too few .. . . . . gone too fast.

And accept the stark fact . . . . that nothing can last.

So open your eyes, people . . . . .. open and see.

Not a crabby old man . . . Look closer .. . . see ME!!

In the second sentence, of course, I know that hot is adjective and pretty is adverb. I am only confused about the first sentence. English Grammar teachers may please enlighten me.

I am looking for answers from native English speakers, please.

I study grammar today (Present Tense)

I studied grammar yesterday (Past Tense)

I have studied grammar today morning (Present Perfect) - This has happened today. The incident (studying) is over; so we are well past the incident. Then instead of terming it as Present Perfect, why can't we call it a Present Past Tense?!

I received the following message thro' e-mail:

A boat docked in a tiny Mexican fishing village. A tourist complimented the local fishermen on the quality of their fish and asked how long it took him to catch them. "Not very long." they answered in unison.

"Why didn't you stay out longer and catch more?"

The fishermen explained that their small catches were sufficient to meet their needs and those of their families.

"But what do you do with the rest of your time?"

"We sleep late, fish a little, play with our children, and take siestas with our wives. In the evenings, we go into the village to see our friends, have a few drinks, play the guitar, and sing a few songs. We have a full life."

The tourist interrupted, "I have an MBA from Harvard and I can help you!

You should start by fishing longer every day. You can then sell the extra fish you catch.

With the extra revenue, you can buy a bigger boat."

"And after that?"

"With the extra money the larger boat will bring, you can buy a second one and a third one and so on until you have an entire fleet of trawlers. Instead of selling your fish to a middle man, you can then negotiate directly with the processing plants and maybe even open your own plant. You can then leave this little village and move to Mexico City , Los Angeles , or even New York City ! From there you can direct your huge new enterprise."

"How long would that take?"

"Twenty, perhaps twenty-five years." replied the tourist.

"And after that?"

"Afterwards?" "Well, my friend, that's when it gets really interesting," answered the tourist, laughing. "When your business gets really big, you can start buying and selling stocks and make millions!"

"Millions? Really? And after that?" asked the fishermen. "After that you'll be able to retire,

live in a tiny village near the coast, sleep late, play with your children, catch a few fish, take a siesta with your wife and spend your evenings drinking and enjoying your friends."

"With all due respect sir, but that's exactly what we are doing now. So what's the point wasting twenty-five years?" asked the Mexicans.

And the moral of this story is:

Know where you're going in life.... you may already be there!!!!

Many times in life, money is not everything.

“Live your life before life becomes lifeless”

I am only wondering whether the extinguished stars become Black Holes because of the vacuum they create after their extinction!

As father to my son, I never expect him to ask (pray) me for something. I know his need. I provide him. Neither I expect him to thank me for doing my duty! If so, why should we pray or thank God, who is the Father of the mankind, and who is obliged to look after us?

When I was young boy, I was reading aloud a popular novel (family theme) for the benefit of a lady who was a senior citizen then (of course, now I am in that age bracket) and who was suffering from poor eyesight and feeling lonely. At one point, quite unexpectedly, there was a description of an intimate scene between a couple. I was a bit uncomfortable to read it and so I started mumbling. To my surprise, the lady relieved me from the embarrassment by telling me, "It is O.K. Please go ahead".