Mr Mojo Risin

My two friends are engaged, but she has recently confided in me that she is in love with me. She told me she would leave my friend if I asked her to. She also told me she is open to having an affair if I didn't want anything serious. I told her I wasn't interested and I'm not the kind of guy who cheats on a buddy. He has asked me to be his best man. Do I tell him? And how do I tell him?

This customer has frequented my shop with her boyfriend for years and they recently separated. Now, she is dating my roommate and she is at my house all time and it makes me very uncomfortable. I have always kept my professional and personal life separate. My roommate always asks me to double with them, or to hang out with them and I always politely decline. I want to discuss this with him, but I am afraid it will just make them feel as awkward as I do. I know I cannot go on feeling this uneasy in my own home, but I do not want to lose a friend and a loyal customer either. My gf tells me I should get over it and I wish I could, but I dread it every time she is at the house. How do I discuss this with them? Should I ask my roommate to look for another place? Any advice would help. Thanks

for that during the divorce. My question is, can she sue him after the divorce is settled for breach of contract? She has video proof he swore to be faithful during the wedding ceremony.

My niece has just started wearing thongs and I know this because she never wears a belt and they are always showing from the top of her jeans. I think this looks rather trashy. Should I say something to her and if I do, how would I go about bringing up the subject without hurting her feelings?

Does anyone know where i an get cheap dental work in Washington state? I'm out of work and need dental care badly. Thanks for any help.

I recently changed some hardware on my comp (motherboard and processor). I got a message from Microsoft that I had to re-register my software. I tried to do this but keep getting error message 25003 (installation source corrupted). Is there a fix to this? If my disk is corrupted is there a way to get a replacement? Please help. This is very frustrating. Thanx.

I am presenting a Friendship Bible to my 16 year old niece. I wanted to inscribe a nice quote on the inside. Does anyone know any quotes about friendship or any spiritual quotes that would be appropriate? Thanx.

I just bought a book for my 16 year old niece which has to do with friendship. I would like to write a nice quote about friendship on the inside. Does anyone have any good friendship quotes?

I am very fair skinned and would like to use a sunless tanner, but I am afraid that it will dye my facial hair and my body hair. Is there any specfic product I should try? Has anyone done the spray on tans at the tanning saloons and do they dye your hair?

wrong with me and is there soemthing I can do to quiet my breathing?

I keep remembering that life could be worse. You could be one half of a Siamese twin. Your brother, who is your second half, is gay and tonight his boyfriend is coming over for dinner. The problem is, you only have one butthole!!!

I used to teach in Prague and I fell in love with a beer called Velvet. The only way I can it explain it is that it tastes like a blonde Guinness. It had the same texture, but was a golden ale. I cannot find it anywhere in the States and I am not sure if it can be shipped to me. If anyone has had it or knows how I can get some, it would be appeciated. Thanx.

I just heard Seether's cover of Pearl Jam's Immortality and it is awesome. I was surprised I never hear it before. So, was wonderig there were cover's I never heard of. So please, list a couple of your favorites.

Nirvana covering Bowie's The Man Who Sold the World

Johnny Cash covering Nine Inch Nail's Hurt

Jeff Buckley covering Zeppelin's Kashmir

Pearl Jam covering J. Frank Wilson & Cavaliers' Last Kiss

Janis Joplin covering Kris Kristofferson's Me and Bobby McGee

Marilyn Manson covering Eurythmics' Sweet Dreams

Just to name a few

He asks the madame if he could have a girl with herpies. The madame thought this was a strange request, but when the boy put $100 on the counter, she obliged.

The boy went into the room and had sex with woman several times to insure that he too got herpies. He was exiting the brothel when the madame called him over.

"Boy, why in the world would you want to get herpies?"

The boy explained," Well, I now have herpies and when I go home, I will bone my babysitter and give her herpies. My father will drive the babysitter home and when they have sex, she will give the herpies to my dad. Later tonight, my dad will sleep with my mom and he will give her herpies. After my dad leaves for work tomorrow, the milk man will stop by and have sex with my mom. My mom will give him herpies and that is the bastard who ran over my frog!"

A piece of string walks into a bar and orders a drink. The bartender points to the sign that says no strings allowed.

The string walks away rejected but then has a bright idea. He visist his friend the body builder and asks if he could tie him into knots. The body builder friend agrees and knots him up godd.

Then the string goes to his hairdressing friend and asks if she could use her beauty skills to fray his ends. The hairdresser takes her brush and blow dryer and frays his ends into a new punk rock 'doo.

The string then walks back into to the bar and orders a drink. The bartender looks at him and asks, "Hey, aren't you that same piece of string that was in here earlier."

The string answers, "Nope, I'm a frayed not."

He loves their blue light specials. Boys clothing, half off!

Let the groans begin...lol

After 6 months at sea, I come home and go into the local brothel. I tell the madame that I need a woman, but I only have $5. She tells me to go down the hall and the room would be the last door on the right.

I enter the room and there is an old skanky woman chain smoking Pall Mall's as she is watching the Price is Right. She tells me to hop on and do my thing.I leave the room 5 minutes later, disgusted, but relieved.

I head back to the ship and that night I realize I got crabs!!! I storm back into the brothel the next day and yell at the madame, "The girl you gave me yesterday gave me crabs!!!"

The madame looks at me and says, "What were you expecting for five bucks, Lobster!!!"

buckets. He walks up to porch where an old man is in his rocker.

"Good morning," says the young man.

"Howdy," says the old fella.

"I see you have milk weed growing behind the barn. Do mind if I get some milk?"

The old fella laughed, "You can't get milk from milk weeds. But, help yourself."

The young man walks into the field and comes back carrying 2 buckets of milk. The old fella thinks, "Well I'll be."

The man drives away, but comes back the next day. He approaches the old fella with 2 more buckets and says, "Well, I see you have some honeysuckles growing behind the house. Do you mind if I get some honey?"

The old man laughs, "You can't get honey from honeysuckles, but go help yourself.

The man comes back carrying 2 buckets of honey. The old man says, "Well, I'll be."

The man drives away and comes back the next day. He approaches the porch and asks, "I see you have some pussywillows..."

The old man cuts him off as he bolts from his chair, "Let me put my shoes on."

A female reporter was doing an interview on an Indian Reservation. She saw a young Indian wearing a single feather in his headband.

She asked, " What does that feather mean?"

The Indian answers, " Me fucka one squaw."

She thought the boy was teasing her so she saw a man with 3 feathers in his head band and asked, "What do those 3 feathers mean?"

He answers, "Me fucka 3 squaw?"

Still thinking these guys are lying, she goes to the chief and his headpiece has hundreds of feathers. She asks, "Chief, what do all those feathers stand for?"

He says, "Me fucka anything!"

The reporter exclaims, "Oh my dear!!!"

The chief says, "No! No deer! Butt to high and run too fast!!!"