tucksie

Sky, BT or the PO broadband services?? Observations please as i am migrating from Tiscali. All my town is suffering low download speeds with Tiscali, as low as 0.934kbps.

used safeseal double glazing in the UK. Observations please.

Alicat tells me my email account is not working so out of curiosity I looked at all the question I answered and found a dozen the Yahoo had not mailed me about. Anyone else had this ??

I have just done a Google search for an article and top of Googles list was an answer that I had given on this forum. Has anybody else had that happen.

And is fed up of getting violation notices. I answered what I thought was an amusing question with an amusing answer. I not only got a VN but was told by Yahoo that if it happens again I'll be off the site. What is up with people, surely they must expect controversial answers to controversial question. I am going to think twice what I write from now on.

Three things puzzle me about you ladies;

1/ Why do you walk with your arms folded across your front.

2/ While sat, why do you hug a cushion on your lap.

3/ Why can't you butter bread right to the edge and only butter a circle in the middle of a slice.

I thought I'd beat my ex so I bought a round loaf, the result a smaller circle of butter in the middle, still dry edges..

Butter has many nutritional benefits where margarine has a few only because they are added!

Butter tastes much better than margarine and it can enhance the flavors of other foods. Butter has been around for centuries where margarine has been around for less than100 years.

And now, for Margarine..

Very high in trans fatty acids.

Triple risk of coronary heart disease.

Increases total cholesterol and LDL (this is the bad cholesterol) and lowers HDL cholesterol, (the good cholesterol)

Increases the risk of cancers up to five fold.

Lowers quality of breast milk.

Decreases immune response.

Decreases insulin response.

And here's the most disturbing fact.... HERE IS THE PART THAT IS VERY

INTERESTING!

Margarine is but ONE MOLECULE away from being PLASTIC..

This fact alone was enough to have me avoiding margarine for life and anything else that is hydrogenated (this means hydrogen is added, changing the molecular structure of the substance).

Margarine was originally manufactured to fatten turkeys. When it killed the turkeys, the people who had put all the money into the research wanted a payback so they put their heads together to figure out what to do with this product to get their money back. It was a white substance with no food appeal so they added the yellow coloring and sold it to

people to use in place of butter. How do you like it? They have come out with some clever new flavorings.

DO YOU KNOW...the difference between margarine and butter?

Read on to the end...gets very interesting!

Both have the same amount of calories.

Butter is slightly higher in saturated fats at 8 grams compared to 5

grams.

Eating margarine can increase heart disease in women by 53% over eating the same amount of butter, according to a recent Harvard Medical Study.

Eating butter increases the absorption of many other nutrients in other foods.

I'm making Chicken Kung Po tonight, anybody fancy coming over for some.

Old Joe the poacher decided to go bag some rabbits to sell for beer money and off he went. After a hour of putting his hand down their burrows he had no luck. Then he spotted the vicar and he came out with a rabbit every time. So he asked for the vicars secret. “Easy, I stick my hand up the wifes skirt and have a little fiddle, the rabbits can’t resist”. Off trots Joe back home were he finds the wife bent over cleaning the stove. He went behind her, put his hand up her skirt and split her whiskers. Without looking up she says “Hello vicar, you off for rabbits again”.

I live right on the north western edge (Barrow in Furness) of Morecambe Bay, probably the biggest cockle beds in the world, and because the illegals and pillagers have devastated the coast and created havok on the beds I can no longer walk out and get a bucket full. I now have to buy them from Denmark, it makes me furious. We can't even get on the beaches anymore without climbing over huge rocks.

Just to say welcome aboard Kat & Neady, pleased to be linked.

Woke up and can't get back to sleep so I'm sat here hoping to get tired enough to get back to bed. I'm sat in my birthday suit hoping a young lady will email herself to me then we can have a meaningful "conversation".

Go to;

http:// www.google.co.uk

1; Click on *maps*

2; Click on *get directions*

3' Type in go from *Atlanta to Paris, France*

4; Scroll in directions to number 22

5; Smile.............

Picture the scenario

A burglar in a dark room was looting the silver when he heard a voice behind him saying "Jesus is watching you". He quickly turned shining his torch around but saw nothing so he carried on. Again he heard the voice "Jesus is watching you". He turned round and spotted a parrot looking at him and he started to laugh. "That's a funny name for a parrot", he said. The parrot replied "Oh it's not my name, it's the Rottweiler sat behind you".

An airline pilot wrote that on this particular flight he had hammered his ship into the runway really hard. The airline had a policy which required the first officer to stand at the door while the passengers exited, smile and give them a, "Thanks for flying XYZ airline." He said that, in light of his bad landing, he had a hard time looking the passengers in the eye, thinking that someone would have a smart comment. Finally everyone had gotten off except for a little old lady walking with a cane. She said, "Sonny, mind if I ask you a question?" "Why no Ma'am," said the pilot. "What is it?" The little old lady said, "Did we land or were we shot down?"

I have a big dog & I was buying a large bag of Winalot in Tesco and was standing in the queue at the till.

A woman behind me asked if I had a dog. On impulse, I told her that no, I was starting ‘The Winalot Diet’ again, although I probably shouldn't because I'd ended up in the hospital last time, but that I'd lost 50 pounds before I awakened in an intensive care ward with tubes coming out of most of my orifices and IVs in both arms.

I told her that it was essentially a perfect diet and the way that it works is to load your trouser pockets with Winalot nuggets and simply eat one or two every time you feel hungry & that the food is nutritionally complete so I was going to try it again.

I have to mention here that practically everyone in the queue was by now enthralled with my story, particularly a guy who was behind her.

Horrified, she asked if I'd ended up in the hospital in that condition because I had been poisoned. I told her no, it was because I'd been sitting in the road licking my balls and a car hit me.

Stupid cow..........why else would I buy dog food??

A passenger in a taxi tapped the driver on the shoulder to ask him something. The driver screamed, lost control of the cab, nearly hit a bus, drove up over the curb, and stopped just inches from a large plate glass window. For a few moments everything was silent in the cab, then the driver said, Please, don't ever do that again. You scared the daylights out of me." The passenger, who was also frightened, apologized and said he didn't realise that a tap on the shoulder could frighten him so much, to which the driver replied, "I'm sorry, it's really not your fault at all. Today is my first day driving a cab. I have been driving a hearse for the last 25 years.”

I've just discovered that when I use Yahoo to email it gives out my full and real name. I'm not using it again.

I recently read that love is entirely a matter of chemistry.

That must be why my wife treats me like toxic waste.

When a man steals your wife, there is no better revenge than to let him keep her.

After marriage, husband and wife become two sides of a coin; they just can't face each other, but still they stay together.

By all means marry. If you get a good wife, you'll be happy. If you get a bad one, you'll become a philosopher.

Woman inspires us to great things, and prevents us from achieving them.

The great question... which I have not been able to answer... is, "What does a woman want?

I had some words with my wife, and she had some paragraphs with me.

"Some people ask the secret of our long marriage. We take time to go to a restaurant two times a week. A little candlelight, dinner, soft music and dancing. She goes Tuesdays, I go Fridays."