Lydia C

Earlier today I asked the question "what should I do with my cheating SOB husband and gave a few details about my situation. Now I wonder, since he thinks I'm stupid and don't know about his "other sweetie," would it be a good idea to send her an email and give her hell for being involved with a married man? Is there a chance, even a slim one, that she might read it and consider what she's done to our relationship and cut him loose, or would that just open a whole can of worms I'm not ready to deal with? Thoughts? Advice?

For over a year now my husband has been carrying on with an online, long-distance relationship that he thinks I'm too stupid to know about. He sent her a Christmas gift last year (found the shipping receipt in his pocket when doing the laundry), emails and/or texts her every day (who else would be sending texts at 2:00 am?) and when asked about all the ongoing connection to his phone replies "oh, it's just___ (fill in the blank with one of his guy buddies) being a dick."

Recently he took a trip to China, supposedly with one of his buddies. They had been planning to do a "guy trip" for a long time so I gave it my approval. Found out "buddy" never left the states and I guess conscience got the better of my husband because he cut his trip short saying he missed me.

Kicker is, I put a "love you" gift in his bag to let him know I was thinking of him while he was gone, and it didn't come back with him. I suspect he re-gifted it and gave it to HER. There's more, but I think y'all get the gist of this thing.

I'm not strong enough, at this point, for a major confrontation. I'm much more hurt than angry (but yeah, I'm angry too). Help. Advice?

All of a sudden my husband's phone is his best friend and constant companion and he has started locking it and his computer when he isn't using them. He used to just leave everything open, and even asked me to get some info off his computer a few times in the past, but now it's all on lockdown.

When we were at a concert the other night (a band he loves and that we catch together whenever they're nearby) he spent about half the night texting somebody. Out of the corner of my eye I caught the thumbnail photo of who he was texting and it's some blond female that I don't recognize.

Today, while we were 1) playing racquetball, 2) at a movie, and 3) having dinner everything was accompanied by interruptions from his phone indicating text messages were pending. He even answers texts while we're driving or talking!

I know he has buddies who text him fairly often, but he shares funny anecdotes about them and what they're saying. When I ask about these marathon text sessions, 'Hey, who's texting you at midnight, does somebody have an issue that can't wait until morning?" I get, "It's just the usual crap." and nothing more.

I'll admit I don't want a confrontation, but I want this woman out of the picture. Am I over-reacting? Advice, suggestions, support is welcome from anyone who cares to respond.

I just turned on my PC and within one minute my whole screen was filled with a warning that there were viruses and whatnot on my computer and it needs to be protected. Then I get a window saying that if I pay for some security thing it will take care of everything. Is this some kind of a scam? The last time I tried to use a browser to find something a window "Infomash" popped up rather than the site I was trying to access. Does this mean there is some worm or virus or something on my computer? Is there something I can do to fix it short of buying a security/cleanup program? Any assistance anyone can provide would be greatly appreciated!

We just got a smoker because we love the taste of smoked meats but my husband used a lot of charcoal lighter fluid to get the coals going and the meat ended up with a very strong lighter fluid flavor. How can we get the coals hot without the stupid fluid? Any help/advice will be most appreciated!

My brother-in-law has a hernia. It isn't a hiatal hernia, but one that is higher up and slightly to the side of his belly button. Sometimes he is in pain, but he just pushes on his gut until he gets things back into place and then doesn't eat for a day or two and calls it good.

My sister is afraid that he is doing harm to himself by not having it taken care of, but he won't see a doctor and says it's not that big of a deal. But he doesn't do many of the things he used to enjoy doing like riding his bike, playing racquetball, bowling, etc for fear that it will cause problems to his stomach or whatever it is that hurts.

Anybody have any experience with this kind of thing? Advice? Thanks!

My husband just said, "I want to buy you something splendid, so what do you want?" I honestly cannot think of anything that I want or need (or feel like I deserve) but he says since he started this new job and he has started making good money he wants me to have something to show for his work.

I'm not a big jewelry person and all the pieces he has already given me are precious and meaningful. I'm not a big "consumer" in that I don't shop for tons of clothing or doo dads for the house. I told him maybe we should just invest since the market is down, but he really wants to buy me something.

I know it's dumb, but does anybody have any ideas?

Maybe this is a stupid question, but we just moved to California from Maryland and there's a small Japanese maple tree in the front yard. It was pretty and healthy when we got here last month, but now all the leaves have fallen off and it looks kind of sick. Is this just because it's autumn, or could there be something wrong with it?

My brother just started working for a large law firm. After three grueling years of law school and all the loans he had to take out to pay for it he thought he had made it. He has been with the firm for about 6 months and hates the work and the way the firm is like a pyramid scheme that sucks the life out of the associates. Anyway, that's what he says about it so I wondered if there were any attorneys out there that really love what they do, and if so, what makes it worthwhile?

Help us settle a disagreement, please. Is Dave Matthews' song, "The Space Between" a happy song or a sad song?

Thanks for your help!

Do not

Come closer

Though I want you here

Do not

Look at me

Though I want to see you

Do not

Touch me

Though your contact warms me still

If your love is gone

If

Then what’s the point?

Is it just me, or are the Target commercials on TV really annoying and totally non-informative?

On the table are two job offers.

One is in San Francisco where the cost of living is high, there will be a substantial commute, and the pay will be good, but somewhat less than the other offer. The Bay is a new adventure, has temperate weather, nearby beaches, fresher air, etc.

The other is in Wilmington, DE where the cost of living is reasonable, the commute to work is fairly short, and the pay is somewhat more than the SF job. Wilmington is a smaller town, not a lot going on, full range of seasonal weather.

The work is similar in both locations. Long hours, semi-stressful professional job.

So...what would YOU choose, and why?

On the table are two job offers.

One is in San Francisco where the cost of living is high, there will be a substantial commute, and the pay will be good, but somewhat less than the other offer. The Bay is a new adventure, has temperate weather, nearby beaches, fresher air, etc.

The other is in Wilmington, DE where the cost of living is reasonable, the commute to work is fairly short, and the pay is somewhat more than the SF job. Wilmington is a smaller town, not a lot going on, full range of seasonal weather.

The work is similar in both locations. Long hours, semi-stressful professional job.

So...what would YOU choose, and why?

Trying to work through the taxes to keep the damage to a minimum. Here's the question:

If my husband and I have a JOINT investment account that has dividends and capital gains...and we're filing separately...can we allocate the dividends to one of our returns and the capital gains to the other?

I recently auctioned a classic car on eBay. I had several people contact me to make offers and to ask me to stop the auction and sell to them directly, including the guy who ended up winning the auction. The whole concept of bidding on/buying a car sight unseen based on a description and photos boggles my mind, but that's how it went. The winner never came to look at the car, sent his deposit and then brought a trailer to pick it up two weeks later. He only briefly looked over the car, checked the VIN number and compared it to the radiator cover, and then brought the trailer around to load it up. I asked him if everything looked OK and he said yes as he loaded it up. He paid me, we transferred the title, and he took the car. Now he's complaining that the car wasn't as it was described, is saying I cheated him, and is threatening to sue me if I don't give him some of his money back. I told him if he's unhappy to bring the car back in the condition I sold it to him, but no response. Help

The bottom (baking) element in my electric oven just sparked and died. Is this something I can fix myself, and if so, where can I get the part and how do I proceed? Any help is appreciated.

I'm selling something on eBay and just got a message from somebody asking (I'm sure in jest) if I would take "sexual favors" as a partial payment for the item. I want to retort with something clean but witty. Any ideas?

Just got into a heated discussion about Native American rights. Is it true that they don't pay taxes, get free education in state universities, make their own laws (they can operate casinos when average people are regulated) on the land they live on (reservations)? And if that's the case, is that really fair to the rest of us? Isn't there some kind of discrimination going on here? My friend says the fact that the Seminole tribe just bought the Hard Rock Cafe business for a billion dollars shows that something is wrong. Here are tribal leaders amassing tons of money to make more money while they keep their people in poverty so they can hold up the poor downtrodden Native American and try to make everybody feel sorry for them. He says it's like a third world dictatorship. I had to concede that something isn't right. What do you think?

Just got into a heated discussion about Native American rights. Is it true that they don't pay taxes, get free education in state universities, make their own laws (they can operate casinos when average people are regulated) on the land they live on (reservations)? And if that's the case, is that really fair to the rest of us? Isn't there some kind of discrimination going on here? My friend says the fact that the Seminole tribe just bought the Hard Rock Cafe business for a billion dollars shows that something is wrong. Here are tribal leaders amassing tons of money to make more money while they keep their people in poverty so they can hold up the poor downtrodden Native American and try to make everybody feel sorry for them. He says it's like a third world dictatorship. I had to concede that something isn't right. What do you think?